Whole of Reality

[7luminaries]

I think incarnation is key...there are so many things that only present themselves for challenge and growth during incarnation...and not just from this life. Though that's plenty...

Funny I've always had a real resistance to looking at my past lives.
A real dread. It took many years to come to terms with the most recent life (as a woman who died young), or the key bits I recalled -- unlike the others, more as if in a dream that's not in sharp focus -- and I had no desire to delve further into any of it, into any of them.

But now another one came to the fore, and it was more or less representative of those earlier lives that I recall (as a man).
And I now understand why. I was either murdered or betrayed for murder, all by those closest to me (brother, friend, partner). And my own shortcomings (the usual suspects...inability to speak of my feelings, prioritising the cause over those I loved, sowing insecurity iin those I love with my work (which was viewed as a threat to their safety). Most of all, I couldn't face the fear and loathing in the eyes of my brother, or knowing/feeling after death it was true of the others as well. It was like the same eyes, the same fear and loathing, so carefully concealed but which I always, always chose to ignore. I always chose to see the love, which is a truth, but which got me killed in my prime, in my simple naivete and my well-meaning but unsophisticated ways of the heart.

Anyway, I think the burden of dying early doesn't allow many things to be recognised, dealt with, and learnt from. Most of all, there is no opportunity for forgiveness and reconciliation in the flesh, person-to-person. I forgave the murder even as it happened. But the sadness is profound. Previously I had thought I struggle with low mood because of my childhood and because I died last round as a young woman with a pervasive feeling of failure -- after a short but harsh lifetime of marginalisation, without dignity or voice, and without value. Struggling to eat, to feed my child, to survive and to avoid rape.

Now I realise the sadness is pervasive across several lifetimes, and that as a man, those whom I loved most deeply felt enough fear and loathing to kill me on several occasions. It's very different to dying for a cause or on the battlefield...or even accidentally. There is a profound sadness involved, and it is unchanged across lifetimes.

As a woman, I didn't face a violent death because as a young woman, I had a sexual utility that could potentially be tapped or exploited. Yet as fate would have it, I still died very young. I thought I was loved in that lifetime as a woman by someone (not the husband who abandoned me), but given the situation, I still didn't feel truly known or valued as a person. I felt I had to get my own dignity back, or no one else would do it for me. It's hard to say if I was right or wrong...I died soon after due to exposure, trying to rectify my situation (to obtain a divorce).

And one more thing...the man I loved felt abandoned by me and I felt his anger and his hatred. I am not sure if they were stronger than the love, but I hoped that was not the case. I felt that he had never forgiven me, but I hoped that maybe in this lifetime he would. But in the last year, I have come to know that the same man has likely killed or betrayed me in earlier lifetimes too...that is, he said that he was, and that he had only just realized it. And last lifetime, when he felt abandoned and never knew why, it only resulted in more hatred and anger toward me.

There is a lesson here, but I'm not sure I have the whole of it yet.
For certain, I am so happy to have a child this lifetime, to be a single mom who can feed her child, who has finally lived past 35 or 40...(), who has close friends and family who love me as I am...who know I'm not perfect but who wouldn't kill me, hahaha....even my grumpy dad who never wanted kids & resented my existence has mellowed a bit and has come to respect me for standing for who I am. This lifetime is just a regular ordinary lifetime, with TIME now to mend fences, to forgive and to reach out in love. Time I never had before...time to think, to reflect, and time to learn how to speak of my thoughts and feelings for others. To tell them I care. That I love them...that I'm sorry where I was wrong, or ignorant of their concerns and their feelings. This ordinary life, nothing special, is a rip-roaring success compared to all the lives past, I'd say.

The pervasive sadness remains, but as long as I try to reach out and address it, to love and to forgive, I reckon I'm doing all I can do. It took my whole lifetime to date of working this same philosophy toward my dad...and progress was glacial. I'd assumed there'd be none. But in fact, there has been some small movement fwd. And for him, it's probably a sea change. I realise this lesson is what everyone else who's lived full-term lives already knew. That love above all is patient and kind. Especially when it's hard, when you're despised, unforgiven, and shunned. It's ok to choose love and forgiveness and not to be ashamed. It doesn't mean you're a fool or that you're stupid, even when past lives say otherwise. Though it's on me to do my part to forgive, to seek forgiveness and reconcile -- still, the evidence on the ground outside of me is not "the final proof" of what is ultimately real and true within me, or even within others that may appear to loathe me or hate me. Everything is still in progress, still becoming...and I am simply honouring this reality of potential and becoming by choosing love and forgiveness.

And above all, that it's allowable to hope for change, even if no discernible change is forthcoming. It's ok to believe in growth and transformation regardless of "the evidence". It's ok to leave a space for a mutual forgiveness and reconciliation, even if none is offered in return. It's not naïve or foolish or stupid if it's chosen consciously throughout a lifetime, beyond the ignorance or naivete of youth.

IMO, the lesson of incarnation is something along the lines of ultimately, love and forgiveness are given and received for their own sake. And we have to choose to align with love and forgiveness, especially when it's hard. The other part of the lesson is that we are hear to be kind and to give and receive grace, love, and friendship with one another...that's how we mend the rift, and our hearts as well. But we have to choose to love and to forgive, and ultimately we will have to choose to reconcile...in whatever time and place. Because it's always going to come down to choosing love over hate and forgiveness over fear and loathing. Otherwise, there's always a reason to hate, to choose fear and loathing...there's always a reason not to love, and not to forgive.

Given the blows we have endured, we often have to consciously choose to side with the love in our hearts, and fortify that love over the hatred and the rage we may feel. From a place of love, forgiveness and even mutual reconciliation is always possible.

But these are revelations, insights, and fresh choices based on inspiration and changes of heart that we are given only in the physical realm.
Because in spirit, all is transparent and known...there is no delay, no space between. And likely, with those you've loved over many lifetimes...apologies would be said all round, and all would be forgiven.

There's always work, but it's not quite the same kind of work or struggle as when we are both spirit and body. Especially, there's not the same kind of translation of your true heart and your true feelings into day-to-day intent, thought, word, and deed when in spirit. That's for the physical realm.

Peace & blessings all
7L

[LimJahey]

I've never thought about the possibility that I would not want to reincarnate. Fascinating.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by LimJahey

I've never thought about the possibility that I would not want to reincarnate. Fascinating.

Same here. We got some major karma to still process I guess.

[7luminaries]

This is (I believe) my 5th incarnation. And I am only now getting my "stuff" together. I didn't live past maybe 35, and often not past 25 or 30, in any of my other incarnations. I am finally getting the hang of this whole try, try, try again thing. But the thing is, the flip side is not so true. If I am here, sticking around, no one ever had to forgive me or love me or be kind to me for an entire lifetime. No one ever had to tolerate my presence for any length of time.

Now I am here and so far it doesn't look like I am going anywhere. But in my first 3 lives, the key figure in my life closest to me loathed me and despised me as much as they ever may have loved me. That's why they killed me, or betrayed me to be killed. Last lifetime, I died (accidentally but predictably in the cold) and they hated and resented me for abandoning them. It seems there was always a reason to harbour hatred and resentment in their heart toward me.

If you had always treated someone like this, and you had been accustomed to maintaining or stoking a visceral resentment and loathing for someone...then how easy is it to be personal, kind, and forgiving to them now, this go-round, now that they are still HERE ??? Hahaha...well, it's not necessarily going to happen. I am beginning to recognise that this level of loathing and resentment is not something you earn in any one lifetime -- particularly if you've never actively been unkind, cruel or spiteful, nasty, apathetic, or unforgiving toward them.

Sometimes folks are simply scapegoating and if you are vulnerable or marginalised, you are a target. Most young folks have experienced this as children and even as young adults (this was my last life as a young woman). But it's never something I had experienced much as a grown adult, because I always died quite young.

It's definitely something that may be carried over by others across many other lifetime, and from that undercurrent, they may be exercising their right to behave as they like toward you. That may well include loathing, resentment, holding grudges, and/or an unwillingness to engage with you personally or with kindness -- particularly as an equal.

Incarnation is fascinating...I never lived long enough to have endured much of this...perhaps it's why I have so little tolerance for both injustice, prejudice, and cruelty or pettiness in general.

But the knowledge I'm gaining of the roots of certain others' behaviour in multiple other past lives is fascinating, if only to me. My behaviour in this life doesn't change really, I still reach out in kindness and I still forgive and seek forgiveness where needed...

But it does put things in perspective. If folks repeatedly are unkind, impersonal, cruel, apathetic, or unforgiving for no reason....if they refuse to meet halfway at some point, no matter how often we reach out...really, that's all on them. I reckon, maybe in some other lifetime, they'll make good on a longer-term exchange of simple human kindness. Or maybe not. That's up to them, ultimately.

And meanwhile, because I realise you NEVER know what the future holds or whether you get infinite 2nd chances with everyone to mend fences in the physical realm (because at my core, I doubt that, really), then I can and will reach out from common human decency and to mend fences...but with no expectation (or hope, TBH) of resolution in this lifetime.

I realise I have to cut some folks some slack, because here I am, still alive. Still kicking!!! Which is NOT how it ever was before.
I have finally come into who I am and it's because I have now lived longer than ever before...I feel truly whole in this knowledge

And I'm still being who I am, just as they are -- but they never really knew me fully in any lifetime -- as once I was killed or died, I was already gone. The fact that they may resent or despise my existence is something they will have to deal with, and they may not be dealing with it so well. Wasn't my karma just to be killed or to die young, so they could feel good about hating me and having me out of the way? LOL...no, it isn't...at least, not anymore it seems. Now, however, we all get to work through all this (ah what fun)...and I'm doing the best I can from my end.

I wish I could add this background to my coffee date explanation of why we need to take time to get to know and love each other as people & as friends first...because family, friendship, and intimacy with those who don't authentically love you or who don't act in your highest good (equally to their own) can be very dangerous propositions...fatal even. That's what my prior incarnations have shown. Along with of course the fact that violence doesn't solve problems...and that men and women must see each other as beloved equals and souls first and foremost.

So...knowing more now, I have to take that into account in setting my expectations to zero or near-zero for some folks. Knowing that they never had to deal with me past the earliest years of adulthood in any other reality means this reality may come as a bit of a shock to some. And equally so, that I have a voice after all After all, more than one commented on my silence last go-round and how much they liked that in a woman. Sigh...LOL...

This incarnation stuff is really something else! Particularly when you get to see it through a bit longer

Peace & blessings,
7L

[Being]

Stages of Soul Growth, Advanced, Old Souls & Final Incarnations.

http://humansarefree.com/2014/02/old...carnation.html

http://www.spiritualunite.com/articl...ith-abundance/

http://www.michaelteachings.com/soul_age_index.html

[Being]

The Cosmic Game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNT6CTW0G78

http://www.sunypress.edu/p-2822-the-cosmic-game.aspx

Summary

"In this, his culminating work, the leading international figure in consciousness research masterfully synthesizes his vast findings, drawing not only upon psychedelic therapy and Holotropic Breathwork, but also from literature, cross-cultural studies, ancient mystical sources and psychological data, resulting in a profound consolidation and articulation of what is now known about nonordinary states of consciousness.
The Cosmic Game discusses the broadest philosophical, metaphysical and spiritual insights gleaned in Grof's research concerning human nature and reality, addressing the most fundamental questions human beings have asked about the nature of existence since time immemorial.

Insights from research into nonordinary states of consciousness portray existence as an astonishing play of the cosmic creative principle that transcends time, space, linear causality, and polarities of every kind and suggest an identity of the individual psyche in its furthest reaches with the universal creative principle and the totality of existence. This identity of the human being with the Divine is the ultimate secret that lies at the core of all great spiritual traditions."

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Being

Favourite spiritual teachers
i like Ramana Maharshi, Adyashanti, Sri Nisargadatta, & Jaggi Vasudev.
i do also feel drawn to Jeshua, But Not in any kind of Biblical or Religioussense,

You know, you and I are pretty much on the same page, Being...
so I think you will LOVE, 'The Way of Mastery'
Can't rem if I've mentioned this to you before...

[Being]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

You know, you and I are pretty much on the same page, Being...
so I think you will LOVE, 'The Way of Mastery'
Can't rem if I've mentioned this to you before...

Hi. Is that a book, or a course? What is it?

[Being]

The Perilous Path Towards Awakening

https://veilofreality.com/2017/01/29...rds-awakening/

[Shivani Devi]

The only thing I know about it, is the 'reality' I have created for myself is infinitely more 'real' than this world can ever be.

In my own little universe, I have friends, family, people who care, people who love me and talk to me...I feel a part of it...I feel totally connected to it.

It's a total and stark contrast to this 'reality' of the human world in which I have nothing and nobody. It feels like I am an alien in this world and I am not a part of it and not connected to it...and it's not my fault or nothing I have done to cause the whole 'disconnect'. It is solely and totally the work of others. I am not to blame, I am pure and I am faultless.

Thus, I spend most of my time in my 'own reality' and not in 'this reality'. I just need to make my universe a bit more interactive in this dimension somehow, so I don't get bored with the whole 'physical existence in this 3D dimension' bit....I am working on it.