Meditation Instead Of Sleep

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

***

With Shivani guiding, what can I say? Nothing!

Yet, your words compel me to say: if suicidal thoughts repeat, apart from medical intervention, go to the root ... who within you is in despair? Are you that person? No! Go deeper. Who are you really?

The gift of life is granted by the Universe. Be grateful. If you feel low, go to the root ... that’s the only self help way. Face it. Do nor try to suppress. Yet, medical assistance is essential since hormonal imbalance may be the cause ...

All is solvable ... all is attainable ... with divine assistance

God bless and know that God is with you. Always.

Just because I am guiding, it doesn't mean others can't contribute...in fact, I really welcome it.

I agree with you though, 100%. With God, anything is possible...and btw it isn't a hormonal imbalance with captain...it is schizophrenia.

However, I am going to respond to that post you just quoted.

***********************************************

Dear Captain, please stop selling yourself short and making up excuses!!!

From talking to you for as long as I have, I know that you are highly intelligent, so please don't give me that.

The reason why I am so patient and tolerant with you, is because it is not your IQ that is important anyway...it is your heart and you have a huge one! I can see your light from here.

I am aware of your capability and potential, if I can only get you to focus, instead of running after every holy man in India because none of that matters right now.

To be honest? For a population of 1.3 billion people, there are so MANY 'Babas' and MANY 'holy men'....you are going to be chasing your tail for lifetimes! You need to get over this obsession...this fixation with mystical people in far-off places and start/continue working on yourself.

Yes, I would really like to talk about energy transmutation, kundalini and meditation because this is what this thread and forum is basically about and we have digressed off topic for enough time now.

However, I just had an idea...

Seeing as how "Autobiography of a Yogi" started you off on this pointless quest and Mahavatar Babaji is of that lineage and not mine, why not join the Self-Realization Fellowship? I'm sure they would have more of a clue than I would...or somebody who follows them may...it is only logical.

Here is a list of all the SRF centres in India...I am sure you can find one that is close to you:

https://yssofindia.org/kendra.php?flg=1

As for serving other people...why not start with your family? your neighbours? those around you? do jobs for them...mow their lawns, paint their house...give your mum a foot massage...

You may also like to look into volunteering, working with a charitable organisation, cleaning your local mandir...

...and now, I await all of your excuses as to why this CANNOT be done...as with every single recommendation I have made to you.

Are you still taking your meds btw? or if you are, they don't seem to be working...and Seeker is right, maybe it is time for a medication and psychological review, because you seem no better now than you were 6 months ago, when I said that I would only help you when your moods became stabilised or else there is no point....and your moods don't appear to be stable right now....you are all over the place, my friend.

For now, I have given you many exercises, many books to read, answered some of your questions (the ones that did not involve 'pie in the sky') and I have shared my love with you...but it seems that every time I do, you ONLY want to know about the whereabouts of this "Saint" or that "Saint" and I cannot help you out there...so please tell me, if this is all you really want to know, am I simply wasting my time?

Yet, you have been saying "I am going to tell you all about me" over and over, but you never do...not that I really want to know anyway, of course, but I will listen...

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Just because I am guiding, it doesn't mean others can't contribute...in fact, I really welcome it.

I agree with you though, 100%. With God, anything is possible...and btw it isn't a hormonal imbalance with captain...it is schizophrenia.

However, I am going to respond to that post you just quoted.

***********************************************

Dear Captain, please stop selling yourself short and making up excuses!!!

From talking to you for as long as I have, I know that you are highly intelligent, so please don't give me that.

The reason why I am so patient and tolerant with you, is because it is not your IQ that is important anyway...it is your heart and you have a huge one! I can see your light from here.

I am aware of your capability and potential, if I can only get you to focus, instead of running after every holy man in India because none of that matters right now.

To be honest? For a population of 1.3 billion people, there are so MANY 'Babas' and MANY 'holy men'....you are going to be chasing your tail for lifetimes! You need to get over this obsession...this fixation with mystical people in far-off places and start/continue working on yourself.

Yes, I would really like to talk about energy transmutation, kundalini and meditation because this is what this thread and forum is basically about and we have digressed off topic for enough time now.

However, I just had an idea...

Seeing as how "Autobiography of a Yogi" started you off on this pointless quest and Mahavatar Babaji is of that lineage and not mine, why not join the Self-Realization Fellowship? I'm sure they would have more of a clue than I would...or somebody who follows them may...it is only logical.

Here is a list of all the SRF centres in India...I am sure you can find one that is close to you:

https://yssofindia.org/kendra.php?flg=1

As for serving other people...why not start with your family? your neighbours? those around you? do jobs for them...mow their lawns, paint their house...give your mum a foot massage...

You may also like to look into volunteering, working with a charitable organisation, cleaning your local mandir...

...and now, I await all of your excuses as to why this CANNOT be done...as with every single recommendation I have made to you.

Are you still taking your meds btw? or if you are, they don't seem to be working...and Seeker is right, maybe it is time for a medication and psychological review, because you seem no better now than you were 6 months ago, when I said that I would only help you when your moods became stabilised or else there is no point....and your moods don't appear to be stable right now....you are all over the place, my friend.

For now, I have given you many exercises, many books to read, answered some of your questions (the ones that did not involve 'pie in the sky') and I have shared my love with you...but it seems that every time I do, you ONLY want to know about the whereabouts of this "Saint" or that "Saint" and I cannot help you out there...so please tell me, if this is all you really want to know, am I simply wasting my time?

Yet, you have been saying "I am going to tell you all about me" over and over, but you never do...not that I really want to know anyway, of course, but I will listen...

I will focus,you are my beloved guru and I will do whatever you tell me to do,I promise.

I researched a lot about increasing intelligence since I wanted to be excellent at what I do in order to serve people better by innovating in technology(which requires intelligence ) along the way I discovered many things

1.The secret of a genius,any genius, is just intuition,NOT deductive skills or IQ.
2.Alpha waves can be used to increase IQ by up to 20 points withing few weeks.
3.Sex transmutation can increase IQ,creativity ,intuition.Although I am still working on the system.
4. Kundalini channeling over a period of time can give a "normal" human being mental super powers such as photographic memory ,IQ of 150 +,genius intuition.

I will write about all of the above in detail ,along with a few systems,in our book so that other people can benefit from my research and attain their goals.

I have also cracked the code to manifesting ability and the entire industry is doing it wrong.Some claim that "thoughts and intention create reality", yes but only if you are a siddh being or if your kundalini has evolved so much that you can even have siddhis ,for the normal people this paradigm won't work and their dreams won't be fulfilled.

I will tell you more about my research in manifesting ability soon but if you believe me it is centuries ahead of what anyone is doing in the industry right now.I believe that people fail to attain their dreams because they don't know how the universe works.

I will give you a little hint of my research:

1. "by centralizing the real ego/soul in the cosmic spirit through yogic methods one can have so much manifesting power that he/she can even become the next Bill Gates or attain even the biggest ,grandest ,harmonious dreams they have".
2."Every soul is the center of God and can therefore manifest god and alter the cosmic dream/illusion but most people don't have the "soul consciousness" to do it".
3."Destiny CAN be changed and this art is called "mental transmutation" and the yogis/masters know how to do it.I've learned this art from many yogis so that I can use it to change my destiny and teach others to do the same.It depends on how much ego centralization and soul consciousness one has ,people who don't have it cannot change even a bit of their destiny(basically like a puppet) and those who have it in high degree can change even the time of their death and I have proof for all this."

I will also write about it in our book so that other people can benefit from it and hopefully realize their dreams.

I respect you a lot and won't be running after saints if you don't want me,I just have one wish though,Shiv ji said I cannot reach Mahavatar Babaji so I understand that I can't and won't be after it but if it would be possible to give a message that I have to Mahavatar Babaji then that would be great !

YSS of india have made a business out of it,they have no clue about Mahavatar Babaji and even the Kriya yoga they teach is not genuine and does not give result.They are just in it for the money and power and their organisation is highly oligarchic (Trust me ,I tried.)

My love is technology ,education system and yoga ,I wanted to serve people in those three regards and these are also the areas of my present or future core competence.But I understand that any service to human beings is service to God.

I am still taking my meds ,I have a doctor's appointment soon so I will tell her about the recent unfoldings. Yes my moods are not stable right now, you are 100% right ,I am all over the place.My health is consistently better than before,but yesterday was an exemption.It is a lot better ,trust me,yesterday was an exemption.

You are not wasting your time,these saints are not the only subject I wanted to learn about from you.I am faithfully doing the exercises and reading the books and will continue to follow your guidance faithfully even if I don't get to meet any saint although that is a is/was a strong desire of mine heart and I will tell you why in (another) post.

I am writing a post(another) to tell you and Shiv ji ALL about me so that we have a better connection and understanding ,it is a little big so it is taking some time :-)

Thank you for your guidance and understanding my friend.Love you a lot.Let me know if I missed anything and I will address it ASAP.

Meanwhile I am still thinking "Shiv ji said I love you to me .... best experience ever!"

Pranam guru ji,thank you for being my guru Shivani Devi ji,I hope your health is fine now.

Happy dushera Shivani ji and every one !

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

There is rather a large stumbling block with me...my heart always gets in the way.

I am so devoted to Lord Shiva, that I cannot even bear it or conceive of the fact that I am non different to the object of my endless affections..so I also have a fear.. the fear that if I 'become Shiva', the loving connection will vanish because there is nothing to be connected to. So Advaita Vedanta just became all too impersonal for me....hence my fierce defensiveness about that whole thing....I can't help it.

I got as far as Vishistadvaita (qualified monism) and that's as far as I could go with that.

If loving God is wrong, then I wanna be wrong.

I too have always been drawn to Lord Shiva and Om Namah Shivay.

When in the world, the chant constantly arises.

As I detach, the chant shortens to simply the impersonal "Om".

The "Om" eventually dissolves into the "I AM".

That which is ultimately does not even say "I AM".

There is a progression depending on one's state of consciousness. One can have BOTH. As one plays one's role on the stage of life, one can enjoy the apparent separation and yet realize that there is something beyond it all. You don't have to give up anything --- especially Lord Shiva.

[Shivani Devi]

Thank you to both the above posters. *hugs*

I need to take a break from this thread for a while and re-approach it with a fresh and clear head.

I may reply sporadically over the next few days, but after that, I won't have any internet for 2 weeks...or just limited phone stuff...and I can't type much on my phone because there is a language barrier.

Happy dushera Shivani ji and every one !

Oh yes...I almost forgot...Happy Dushera to you all as well. <3

[captainamerica]

Shivani ji,
Should I do a Kali mother sadhna to awaken my kundalini ?

I believe that kundalini is the source of all spiritual growth.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Shivani ji,
Should I do a Kali mother sadhna to awaken my kundalini ?

I believe that kundalini is the source of all spiritual growth.

She won't awaken if you are trying to do so or even have any desire for that to happen.

Mine awoke and rose up when I was totally lost in a bhakti-trance, doing trataka on an image of Lord Shiva...I wasn't even thinking about it...did not even want it to happen...but next thing I knew, I had a raging volcano exploding up my spine.

This is why...WHY I have been advising you to flow with your emotions because intense emotion triggers it to happen.

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

She won't awaken if you are trying to do so or even have any desire for that to happen.

Mine awoke and rose up when I was totally lost in a bhakti-trance, doing trataka on an image of Lord Shiva...I wasn't even thinking about it...did not even want it to happen...but next thing I knew, I had a raging volcano exploding up my spine.

This is why...WHY I have been advising you to flow with your emotions because intense emotion triggers it to happen.

I tried doing it but have to do it a few more times to get it right.Feeling devotion is easy but feeling love is a bit difficult for me.

Should I try to get Shaktipath from someone without the help of Shiv ji? Will getting a shaktipath help me in awakening kundalini ?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

I tried doing it but have to do it a few more times to get it right.Feeling devotion is easy but feeling love is a bit difficult for me.

Should I try to get Shaktipath from someone without the help of Shiv ji? Will getting a shaktipath help me in awakening kundalini ?

You have to be totally open to receiving shaktipat...and you are just not there right now, or else it would have happened ages ago.

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

You have to be totally open to receiving shaktipat...and you are just not there right now, or else it would have happened ages ago.

I was hoping to get ready and be open to receive a shakipath few years from now.

What should I do to prepare myself and be open for it?

You were not online yesterday ,everything fine my friend ?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

I was hoping to get ready and be open to receive a shakipath few years from now.

What should I do to prepare myself and be open for it?

You were not online yesterday ,everything fine my friend ?

It will be.

So, my brother and his wife have been holidaying in Queensland for a week and I have been staying at his place looking after the house, babysitting my niece and nephew, looking after my disabled mother, feeding and cleaning up after their pets...it has been non-stop....non stop!

Yesterday, I had to prepare for their arrival today, so I made sure everything was up to date and when evening came, I thought about going on here...but decided to watch Edgar Cayce videos on youtube instead...that was more appealing at the time.

With the problems I have been having with my mother, it does drain me and make me rather emotional when I am not used to that...going from living alone, to looking after a household and a family is a huge 'culture shock' for me.

My brother is home now...I mentioned what went on with my mum...and he said "she's getting old and senile...don't take it personally" and then, he gave me a four pack of vodka mudslides and some ganja...but I am not allowed to have it until after the family goes to bed...which is understandable.

I will be able to chill, relax and answer anything you want to know later on.

...and before anybody says anything...it's one of the fringe benefits of being an Aghori...there is no judgment.