Meditation Instead Of Sleep

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by davidsun

You know that saying, "The bigger they come, the harder the fall"? Well you are the 'biggest', meaning the most 'power'full, and so most fall-'pained' soul that I know! Having had quite a few 'falls' myself, my heart really goes 'out' to 'you' in that regard.

More guesswork, SD:

'You' are, meaning your 'ego' is, powerless in terms of being totally incompetent and unable to change you/your situation. 'It' can only reinforce you/it and so, though it can 'promise' otherwise, in reality can only make it more hellish!

I recommend you consider (and adapt) the AA 12 Step approach to suite you/your situation.

Here is an excerpt from my book Godspeak 2000 which, tho a 'generalization' for sure, may (I hope it can and will!) give you an overview of what you are going through and (hence) a sense of their possibly being 'light' at the end this darkest of the dark tunnels (including my own) which I have had the opportunity to become aware of:

"Fortunately, the very severity of the crises those who are errant bring upon themselves and subject others around them to also serves as a catalyst for positive change in those who have as yet underutilized capacity to acknowledge and constructively relate to the truth. Whether such eventuality is welcomed or not, sooner or later, particularly after repeated or lengthy trial and tribulation, when their strength is depleted, beleaguered individuals experience a state of psychospiritual ‘bankruptcy’, in which the hope of attaining idealization-fantasy fulfillment ‘dies’, and they starkly see that even seeking to compensate themselves for such unfulfillment by means of substitute desire-gratification dooms them to endless effort, if not utter frustration and futility.

They enter a phase, poetically alluded to as ‘the dark night of the soul’, characterized initially by feelings of upset and anger, then despair, followed by sadness, depression and, ultimately, resignation, in which yearning and striving for what they desire, because satisfaction continually eludes them, finally cease. Sense of purpose is lost. What they do or don’t do then matters little to them, if at all. Life seems a cruel joke, if not meaningless. The process continues, generally in waves and spurts, till they fully accept the fact that they cannot have things be the way them want them to be (or not be the way they want them not to be). In the end, truly humbled, they reach the point where they stop being egocentrically willful and demanding, whatever their personal predilection and preference may have been or yet be.

Then, because no longer preoccupied with dreams of idealization-fantasy fulfillment and schemes aimed at attaining the same, they begin to be open to truly savoring and appreciating actualities and possibilities that are inherent in, and so embrace and act to creatively enhance, their and others present condition and circumstance, whatever this happens to be. As a result of becoming disillusioned regarding the possibility of actualizing and enjoying what, because of comparison-based sensation and logic, they previously mentally and emotionally fixated on as ‘ideal’, by default as it were, without specifically intending to, they organically rediscover and reexperience {remember what you life was like when you were 'happy' as a child? you were sometimes at least} as a the beauty and bounteousness of Life as is.

In due course, such rediscovery and reexperience sparks a conversion in one’s outlook and mode of operation. Because one then experientially knows disappointment and dissatisfaction to be idealization-associated blights, one becomes more wary of and less likely to be lured by fantasy-based temptations and, if and when one gets ‘snared’ by them, more quickly frees oneself from such entanglement by reestablishing wholesome relationship with what is in truth. Gradually, more and more often, and each time more fully, recognizing the bounteousness of experience and ongoing opportunity for discovery, development and joyful expression afforded by Life as It is to be a phenomenal boon, one proceeds with an attitude [a genuine one, now!] of greater and greater appreciation and consequently [i]love[/u]. As the quest for ‘more’ desire-satisfaction then becomes superfluous, one increasingly enjoys and, so, more and more ‘naturally’ acts to enhance developments in Life’s garden, whatever one’s situation and whoever one may be with. Such progression ‘naturally’ culminates in one’s actualizing totally positive modality and flourishing in complete psychospiritual communion with Life processes one is part and parcel of, as all one’s giving and receiving becomes geared to this."

PM me if you wish to engage privately, but, since I am a would-be 'world'-teacher , I welcome your engaging with me 'in public' for whatever 'good' may come (for the 'world' of others) as a result of such engagement even if it proves unfruitful for you personally.

Wow, that is incredible!

What you have written in your book is so true about myself and the whole situation I am facing that I can see no way out of it because it has just gone on for SO long..and it just keeps on feeding itself and growing like a "spiritual cancer" that has now metasticized into every other area of my life.

Yes, it has been one huge "Dark Night of the Soul" which I have been trying to avoid and deny in hopes that it will just go away if I just continue to ignore it and your advice that I try the AA approach may indeed be very useful...I am fully "addicted to myself" but not in any way that your "garden variety narcissist" would be, as I am not particularly vain, selfish or abusive.

There is one small insight and a tiny glimmer I have been clinging to:

http://www.northernshamanism.org/dea...-sickness.html

When I was a child and growing up..even in my adult years, I had NOBODY! nobody except FOR myself!

My father abused me physically, sexually and emotionally...My mother who was totally terrified of him kept saying that I "deserved it" and I was also undeserving of love...nothing I ever did was ever appreciated...I was not treated like I made a positive contribution to the world in any way...I never received any praise that a child should get...Just lectures about how everyone was totally disappointed with me and how I was a "mistake" and I "was not even wanted"...I got bullied and bashed at school...bullied and bashed at home...I had NO friends and no teachers or social workers wanted to get involved.

As I grew, the only happiness I experienced was in an Ashram setting..where people were together chanting and singing the names of God and where everyone had their own role and responsibility they were always praised for. People who worshiped the same Deity became my "family" yet, I couldn't extend my awareness outside of that circle and still cannot.

I would make for the perfect "cult member" due to my rather unique combination of loyalty and hatred.

Fact is, I just need to be shown through love and to have a childhood I never experienced, before I developed this self serving ego through survival/necessity which also had the side effect of giving me a totally warped and distorted view of the world...so much so, that viewing it as "Maya" becomes a beautiful and almost perfect cop out.

I would actually do very well in a tribal village setting....part of a close knit family who practice the ancient ways, totally oblivious to anything occurring in the external world with their 5G Social Grids and "Virtual realities" and "Clouds" and whatever else they have...

Just getting back to basics...living off the land... celebrating rituals and rites of passage...singing and dancing around a fire....sharing stories of times long ago...practicing healing techniques...My soul NEEDS this kind of stuff or else it withers and dies...and I also know that it is something I cannot do alone...never heard about a "tribe of one" before.

So sorry, SD.

[davidsun]

Wow, "the more power-full souls are, the more extreme (in terms of ups and downs) and convoluted (in terms of ins and outs) their journeying(s)!"

That's quite the traumatized wild-horse 'you' have chosen* to 'learn' - or 'fail'! - to heal/tame (*or been karmically a-s-signed to - it doesn't matter what the truth is in that regard because the bottom-line truth is that is the 'saddle' 'you' are in - "for better or for worse" as the 'marriage' vows go! )

Some more opinionated guesswork 'tidbits' in response to things you said.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I would make for the perfect "cult member" due to my rather unique combination of loyalty and hatred.

My reaction: your intelligence (capacity for perception) and well as your sense of humor are 'rich'!

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Fact is, I just need to be shown through love and to have a childhood I never experienced, ...

This is a false (because it has built in self-limiting assumptions) 'script'. 'You' are Life Itself - The Flow of Life is Love and Joy - albeit 'your' flow in these regards is presently (often) warped and convoluted as 'hell'.

There are no (real) 'needs' in said regard. But, if 'you' really want to ride/fly that Pegasus, (IMO) 'you' will have to 'believe' in and fully 'own' 'your' capacity for Love and Joy and (eventually) successfully deploy said capacity in relation to and with others! Ditch that 'need' script! It has outlived its 'survival value' usefulness and now (again, IMO) only serves to hold 'you' ('your' soul-flowering process) back.

I am reminded of an old WWII era movie in which two guys, a midshipman and and officer were 'marooned' in small boat after the merchant ship they were on was straffed and bombed and sunk by airplane attack. The officer had a gun and vigilantly kept control of the water canteen which he hung over the side of the boat and saying that the canteen would be kept cool by being submerged and that they 'needed' to reserve the water for when their 'need' would be greatest, i.e. 'later on'. Long story short, this went on for days with the seaman becoming more and more sure that the officer was just taking sips out of the canteen at night when he (the seaman) was sleeping. Finally, just as a rescue ship appeared (in the movie), the officer fell asleep and the seaman lunged for the canteen to get a much 'needed' drink - only to find that there was no freshwater in the canteen - there was a hole in from having been hit by one of the plane's bullets! He realized that the officer was dead at that point and that he (the seaman) had really only been 'kept' 'alive' by his 'hate' for the officer who he believed was unfairly depriving him of his 'share' of the water.

Besides you have had plenty of being a (dependent) 'child' by virtue of your social 'disabilities' and publicly available health/support systems.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

There is one small insight and a tiny glimmer I have been clinging to:
http://www.northernshamanism.org/dea...-sickness.html

Quite amazing/tough/challenging journeys described there! My guess is that the ones who came out 'sucessfully' did so because they were able to jettison their ('petty' in the sense of being other-demanding/dependent? and 'prideful' in the sense of being self-power reliant?) 'identities' in the course of their clearly 'purgatorial' purging processes.

Love-and-Joy relatedness is a choice. My 'challengin question' to 'you' is how long are 'you' going to continue 'living' 'your' " 'I' am limited in terms of 'my' relational-love capacity, 'I' have been very unfairly abused/deprived and, in proportion, very much 'need' be loved and nurtured 'like' a 'child' " - and corollary projecting 'blame' (responsibility) for 'your' dysphoria 'outward' script? It has gotten you and will continue to get you nowhere 'better'. Rather, it has just resulted in 'your' experiencing more 'hellishness'.

The only way for 'you' to 'heal' 'your' self (IMO) is for 'you' to Love and enJoy (not to 'want', 'seek', maneuver to 'get' Love and Joy 'given' to 'you'). Baby-steps if and as undertaken and persisted in (no matter how many 12-step 'relapses' occur along the way) may - I am tempted to say can and will - get 'you' - I am tempted to say 'anyone' - there (there being a 'heavenly', functionally related to others by way of Love and Joy, spiritual 'state').

This is not a matter of developing 'empathy' - rather it is a matter of choosing to 'care' (about others and Life Itself) - though empathy can 'help' motivate one in said regard, it can also 'drain' one in said regard, as you know!

I sincerely hope you (can) enjoy? and love? dancing to/with 'my' kind of muse-ic (sample played above), SD. It is the only 'gift' I have to offer.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by davidsun

Wow, "the more power-full souls are, the more extreme (in terms of ups and downs) and convoluted (in terms of ins and outs) their journeying(s)!"

That's quite the traumatized wild-horse 'you' have chosen* to 'learn' - or 'fail'! - to heal/tame (*or been karmically a-s-signed to - it doesn't matter what the truth is in that regard because the bottom-line truth is that is the 'saddle' 'you' are in - "for better or for worse" as the 'marriage' vows go! )

Some more opinionated guesswork 'tidbits' in response to things you said.


My reaction: your intelligence (capacity for perception) and well as your sense of humor are 'rich'!


This is a false (because it has built in self-limiting assumptions) 'script'. 'You' are Life Itself - The Flow of Life is Love and Joy - albeit 'your' flow in these regards is presently (often) warped and convoluted as 'hell'.

There are no (real) 'needs' in said regard. But, if 'you' really want to ride/fly that Pegasus, (IMO) 'you' will have to 'believe' in and fully 'own' 'your' capacity for Love and Joy and (eventually) successfully deploy said capacity in relation to and with others! Ditch that 'need' script! It has outlived its 'survival value' usefulness and now (again, IMO) only serves to hold 'you' ('your' soul-flowering process) back.

I am reminded of an old WWII era movie in which two guys, a midshipman and and officer were 'marooned' in small boat after the merchant ship they were on was straffed and bombed and sunk by airplane attack. The officer had a gun and vigilantly kept control of the water canteen which he hung over the side of the boat and saying that the canteen would be kept cool by being submerged and that they 'needed' to reserve the water for when their 'need' would be greatest, i.e. 'later on'. Long story short, this went on for days with the seaman becoming more and more sure that the officer was just taking sips out of the canteen at night when he (the seaman) was sleeping. Finally, just as a rescue ship appeared (in the movie), the officer fell asleep and the seaman lunged for the canteen to get a much 'needed' drink - only to find that there was no freshwater in the canteen - there was a hole in from having been hit by one of the plane's bullets! He realized that the officer was dead at that point and that he (the seaman) had really only been 'kept' 'alive' by his 'hate' for the officer who he believed was unfairly depriving him of his 'share' of the water.

Besides you have had plenty of being a (dependent) 'child' by virtue of your social 'disabilities' and publicly available health/support systems.


Quite amazing/tough/challenging journeys described there! My guess is that the ones who came out 'sucessfully' did so because they were able to jettison their ('petty' in the sense of being other-demanding/dependent? and 'prideful' in the sense of being self-power reliant?) 'identities' in the course of their clearly 'purgatorial' purging processes.

Love-and-Joy relatedness is a choice. My 'challengin question' to 'you' is how long are 'you' going to continue 'living' 'your' " 'I' am limited in terms of 'my' relational-love capacity, 'I' have been very unfairly abused/deprived and, in proportion, very much 'need' be loved and nurtured 'like' a 'child' " - and corollary projecting 'blame' (responsibility) for 'your' dysphoria 'outward' script? It has gotten you and will continue to get you nowhere 'better'. Rather, it has just resulted in 'your' experiencing more 'hellishness'.

The only way for 'you' to 'heal' 'your' self (IMO) is for 'you' to Love and enJoy (not to 'want', 'seek', maneuver to 'get' Love and Joy 'given' to 'you'). Baby-steps if and as undertaken and persisted in (no matter how many 12-step 'relapses' occur along the way) may - I am tempted to say can and will - get 'you' - I am tempted to say 'anyone' - there (there being a 'heavenly', functionally related to others by way of Love and Joy, spiritual 'state').

This is not a matter of developing 'empathy' - rather it is a matter of choosing to 'care' (about others and Life Itself) - though empathy can 'help' motivate one in said regard, it can also 'drain' one in said regard, as you know!

I sincerely hope you (can) enjoy? and love? dancing to/with 'my' kind of muse-ic (sample played above), SD. It is the only 'gift' I have to offer.

Thank you again and so much!

Oh, I wish I knew what Love and Joy really felt like. Maybe it has been SO long since I have felt it that I have totally forgotten what it feels like. I just live in a coccoon of total emotional numbness wanting to feel something and even my "hate" has given way to apathy and ambivalence now. It is NOT that I don't feel deserving of Love and Joy, it is that I highly doubt, after so long, I even have the capacity to feel it anymore. Even doing those things which once brought me happiness now feel like a dreaded chore and over the past six months I have tried to find things which will "make" me feel Love and Joy, until I realise that it is all within myself...yet when I look inside, that cupboard is totally bare and empty...There is nothing! nothing there at all.

So I go "AHA! I know what to do... let's close my eyes and totally focus and concentrate on that 'nothingness' and maybe something will come out of it!" I mean, I have experienced "The Void" many, many times... However, there is NO "'Satchitanananda" there is no bliss, no enlightenment...All that happens is that I become incredibly relaxed just floating in that ocean of black, empty nothingness until I fall into a very deep, refreshing sleep...then when I wake up, I notice that nothing has changed whatsoever and I am back at square one...Being extremely observant and perceptively "rich" (as you have seen), but if my observations are SO warped and distorted so as to reinforce all these lies instead of seeing the truth, what use is having ANY perception whatsoever? "rich" or "poor" or "otherwise"?

As for my sense of humour, I have often said "I don't have anything that a full frontal lobotomy cannot fix". LOL

As for my "need" - whether it is justified or not, makes no difference to me really and if I don't "grok it" in this lifetime, there will be plenty more until I do...I have all eternity...It is all about Nurturing my Soul until I can find/experience that Love and Joy and if I cannot nurture my own soul...OR if my ego won't allow me to experience it and meditation only puts me to sleep (which self-answers the whole premise of this thread in the first place) then what do I do? and if the answer is "nothing", then I am already not doing "nothing" and just be-ing...but I have not noticed any improvement...nothing different.

Whether I am aware of being Atman or not aware of being Atman, it makes no difference in regards to the fact I AM Atman anyway...However, I have never experienced love, bliss, empathy, unity, compassion etc as the direct result of this awakening/awareness...I must be "doing/being it all wrong".

For everything else, there is a song which sums it up VERY nicely...and if I have that problematic "need", then so does this dude:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by janielee

So sorry, SD.

It is okay and thank you, but no need to feel sorry for me...I have done enough of that for myself.

[davidsun]

For whatever this 'sign'ifies to 'you', SD, I (the 'David' you know) was/am very 'heart'ened to 'hear' your present perception/attitude regarding the Life 'you' are (presently) living.

In my experience/view etc. 'Spirit' is 'bouyant'. If and as someone isn't 'dragging' it 'down' by struggling, yearning, hating, etc., etc., etc. that things aren't to their 'liking', IT will nature-ally stop 'drowning', begin to rise, float in and move with the 'river' of Life.

Be as 'you' (presently) are. Stay out of Its way. Just watch what is happening (to 'you'). Being what they are, which is the Essence of Life, Love and Joy are 'bound' to (and so I predict they will) re-emerge, in re-fresh-ed resurrection!

From the same chapter as my earlier quote:

"If you aren’t aware of the attendant possibilities for negative ramification, you might simply expect our higher degree of Intelligence to be an unqualified blessing. However, the fact is, we each run the very real risk of sinking and drowning in a psychospiritual hell of our own making until we learn to float and swim in the boundless flow of conscious*ness that results from our developing to the point where we partake of ‘the fruit of the tree of knowledge’.

Unlike creatures with lesser capacity, we grow past the stage of simple innocence. Whether we personally want to or not, all but the most feeble-minded among us develop and savor a vast range of ideas about what is ‘better’ and what is ‘worse’, as well as ‘how much’ better or worse a specific other condition or circumstance would be, as a result of our capacity for logical comparison and imaginative projection. Not only are we therefore more intensely, and in many more ways, motivated to try to attain and hold on to what we decide is better and to try to avoid and secure ourselves from what we decide is worse, no matter how good our present situation may be, we keep conceiving of and so desire to actualize and experience ever higher ideals. Concomitantly, because we ‘see’, again by way of projection and comparison, how far present actualization and expe*rience fall short of the higher ideals we desire, we suffer disappointment and dissatisfaction,a in proportion to the intensity of our fancies.b Such suffering disposes us to construe our current condition and circumstance negatively, as ‘not good’ or ‘not good enough’. This sets the stage for the sequence of sometimes quite tragic ‘acts’ in the drama most of us know as ‘the human predicament’.

Unless we recognize the ultimately unrequitable nature of and stop getting emotionally caught up in the various kinds of desire-pursuits which the above-mentioned comparison-with-conceptual-ideal process tempts us into, disappointment and dissatisfaction ‘color’ our perceptions of ourselves and others, as well as the nature and prospect of Life Itself. The judgments we make and the philosophies we construct and live by consequently become pejoratively biased. And we then naturally behave and influence events in quite detrimental ways, deludedly thinking that we are being ‘realistic’ and living lives grounded in truth.

In trying to come to terms with the suffering they experience and witness, for example, many, often quite elaborately, rationalize that they and/or others must in some way be deficient and unworthy of the ‘goodness’ they desire; or, if their self-esteem remains intact, that what they’ve been given or are getting in terms of personal experience and opportunity is unjust or insufficient, in one way or another an unfair or ‘bad’ deal. Those who presume that suffering is a consequence of personal deficiency and unworthiness tend to over-submissively accept and put up with what they then believe is ‘deserved’ misfortune in their own case; also, to the degree they project similar ‘justification’ outward, to condone neglect and ill-treatment of others who they consider ‘undeserving’ as well as do so themselves, without being conscious that they thereby really betray and violate the Spirit of Life. Those who don’t cotton to the idea that they or others are deficient or unworthy, on the other hand, if and to the degree they don’t recognize that unhappiness is subjectively determined, tend to ‘righteously’ rebel against and struggle to preclude experience of disappointment and dissatisfaction to the point where they allow their desire for whatever they consider to be (more) ideal to blind them to the harm that they do and the penalty-exacting repercussions they set in motion when they zealously try to make the flow of the stream of Life conform to their wishes—issues vital to ecosystemice balance and healthy communal development are then blithely overlooked and ignored.

Whichever such variety of deludedness (or mixture of them) people get caught up in, there’s 'hell' to pay. As long as it is not properly diagnosed and dispelled, the jaun*dice engendered by disappointment and dissatisfaction keeps on compounding itself, since individuals then either actively or passively collude with and participate in unwholesome treatment of themselves or others in the world around them. Though they may temporarily enjoy some degree of personal or vicarious gratification along the way, they thereby directly or indirectly (by way of repercussion, since we are all inter*connected) help increase the level of their unhappiness and discontentment. This makes it even harder for them to positively appreciate and lovingly respond to the flow of Life and circumstance as they actually are, so they spiral downward into an ever more infernally convoluted, negative-attitude driven condition. Ultimately, if nothing interrupts and reverses such progression, the spell of Negativity may become so great that it completely “blind[s] their eyes, and harden[s] their heart[s]” (John 12;40) to the wonder and potential for creative development inherent in Being.

Every developing soul encounters this ‘problem’ many times over—it presents itself in a variety of guises as we proceed. The more intelligent and sensitive we become, the more subtly discriminating and refined the ways in which we conceive that we, others and situational circumstance would be more ideal. And, because we can then also more imaginatively envision and more inventively pursue their actualization, we become more prone to getting caught up (or ‘lost’) in yearning for and lusting aftera such conceptions of ‘greater’ goodnessb and, because it appears pale in con*trast, to not appreciate and so not lovingly act to enhance what is; in the extreme, to denigrate and disparage it as having no inherent goodness and value at all. (Aside from the forementioned yearning for and lusting after ‘greater’ good*ness and denigration and disparagement of what is present and available, there are other indicators that one has gotten ‘stuck’ in terms of the problem: If and as pro*longed or intense enough disappointment and dissatisfaction is suffered as a result of not having one’s ideal-based desires fulfilled, one may become cynical about and unenthusiastic, avoidant and sloppy in relation to apparently ‘ordinary’ matters one must deal with, as well as reactively loath and even grow to hate and want to destroy aspects of Life one considers non-ideal altogether.)

The ‘solution’, in each and every case, lies in becoming aware of how fixation on particular ideals and derivative experience of disappointment and dissatisfaction cut us off from perceiving, relishing and creatively dealing with the exquisite Isness of Being and Becoming that is Ever-Present and Ever-Ongoing in ourselves, others and the world around us, and therefore diligently identifying and choosing to emotionally decathect from and transcend such personal fancies and aversions and associated conditioning. Only if and as we stop holding onto particular likes and dislikes and jettison negative attitudes deriving from consequent experi*ence of disappointment and dissatisfaction do we rediscover and revive what was lost when we emerged from the simplicity of naivetéd—the paradisiacal state enjoyed by Adam and Eve before they ‘fell’ from 'grace', in the Garden of Eden."

Much Love and Joy!) felt and 'beamed' youward, fellow-Spirit crone/woman/child.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Originally Posted by davidsun

You know that saying, "The bigger they come, the harder the fall"? Well you are the 'biggest', meaning the most 'power'full, and so most fall-'pained' soul that I know! Having had quite a few 'falls' myself, my heart really goes 'out' to 'you' in that regard.

More guesswork, SD:

'You' are, meaning your 'ego' is, powerless in terms of being totally incompetent and unable to change you/your situation. 'It' can only reinforce you/it and so, though it can 'promise' otherwise, in reality can only make it more hellish!

I recommend you consider (and adapt) the AA 12 Step approach to suite you/your situation.

Here is an excerpt from my book Godspeak 2000 which, tho a 'generalization' for sure, may (I hope it can and will!) give you an overview of what you are going through and (hence) a sense of their possibly being 'light' at the end this darkest of the dark tunnels (including my own) which I have had the opportunity to become aware of:

"Fortunately, the very severity of the crises those who are errant bring upon themselves and subject others around them to also serves as a catalyst for positive change in those who have as yet underutilized capacity to acknowledge and constructively relate to the truth. Whether such eventuality is welcomed or not, sooner or later, particularly after repeated or lengthy trial and tribulation, when their strength is depleted, beleaguered individuals experience a state of psychospiritual ‘bankruptcy’, in which the hope of attaining idealization-fantasy fulfillment ‘dies’, and they starkly see that even seeking to compensate themselves for such unfulfillment by means of substitute desire-gratification dooms them to endless effort, if not utter frustration and futility.

They enter a phase, poetically alluded to as ‘the dark night of the soul’, characterized initially by feelings of upset and anger, then despair, followed by sadness, depression and, ultimately, resignation, in which yearning and striving for what they desire, because satisfaction continually eludes them, finally cease. Sense of purpose is lost. What they do or don’t do then matters little to them, if at all. Life seems a cruel joke, if not meaningless. The process continues, generally in waves and spurts, till they fully accept the fact that they cannot have things be the way them want them to be (or not be the way they want them not to be). In the end, truly humbled, they reach the point where they stop being egocentrically willful and demanding, whatever their personal predilection and preference may have been or yet be.

Then, because no longer preoccupied with dreams of idealization-fantasy fulfillment and schemes aimed at attaining the same, they begin to be open to truly savoring and appreciating actualities and possibilities that are inherent in, and so embrace and act to creatively enhance, their and others present condition and circumstance, whatever this happens to be. As a result of becoming disillusioned regarding the possibility of actualizing and enjoying what, because of comparison-based sensation and logic, they previously mentally and emotionally fixated on as ‘ideal’, by default as it were, without specifically intending to, they organically rediscover and reexperience {remember what you life was like when you were 'happy' as a child? you were sometimes at least} as a the beauty and bounteousness of Life as is.

In due course, such rediscovery and reexperience sparks a conversion in one’s outlook and mode of operation. Because one then experientially knows disappointment and dissatisfaction to be idealization-associated blights, one becomes more wary of and less likely to be lured by fantasy-based temptations and, if and when one gets ‘snared’ by them, more quickly frees oneself from such entanglement by reestablishing wholesome relationship with what is in truth. Gradually, more and more often, and each time more fully, recognizing the bounteousness of experience and ongoing opportunity for discovery, development and joyful expression afforded by Life as It is to be a phenomenal boon, one proceeds with an attitude [a genuine one, now!] of greater and greater appreciation and consequently [i]love[/u]. As the quest for ‘more’ desire-satisfaction then becomes superfluous, one increasingly enjoys and, so, more and more ‘naturally’ acts to enhance developments in Life’s garden, whatever one’s situation and whoever one may be with. Such progression ‘naturally’ culminates in one’s actualizing totally positive modality and flourishing in complete psychospiritual communion with Life processes one is part and parcel of, as all one’s giving and receiving becomes geared to this."

PM me if you wish to engage privately, but, since I am a would-be 'world'-teacher , I welcome your engaging with me 'in public' for whatever 'good' may come (for the 'world' of others) as a result of such engagement even if it proves unfruitful for you personally.

***

The light in me embraces the light in you.

***

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

***

The light in me embraces the light in you.

***

Ditto, Bro-Light!

[God-Like]

I suppose it boils down what level / state of meditation one entertains.

If meditation to some just involves listening to whale music for 20 mins then that will not supercede sleep.

This earthly world is very dense and to be of it energetically is hard work and is in a way detrimental to the spirit.

In the spirit world you don't need to sleep, in the physical world you do.

It's not really sleep at all what happens is that you leave this world for the duration.

Thanks god for that


x daz x

[captainamerica]

Hi Shivani Ji,

Feeling perfect as before now :-)

I read some of your above posts and I sincerely think that a type of meditation and rythmic breathing should help you.

It is given in the book written by none other than Yogi Ramacharaka ;-)

http://www.yogebooks.com/english/atk...encebreath.pdf

It is given in the end of the book.

Is your driving license problem solved ? Maybe I missed the post that mentioned it...

Love you.