Could really use help with this one if anyone has a moment - a dream in two parts

[astralwanderer]

Part one. I took nap and became lucid immediately. I was inside a cabin in some remote place. It reminded me of my dad’s house or his vacation house on the river but it wasn’t either of those houses. I felt compelled to go outside. I went out the door on the left rear of the house and was on a screened deck. There was a wooden rail in front of me and a roof over my head.

In the side yard (to my left at 10:00) was a large tree. It was illuminated in a red glow. (At this point I felt like I was out of body.). I noticed the light of day was strange. It occurred to me that there must be a solar eclipse because the light reminded me of the solar eclipse I witnessed in August 2017. So I started to look for the sun. Instead, I saw a full moon high in the sky directly in front of me at 12:00. The solar eclipse condition had created this sensation that it was twilight even though it was clearly mid-day, so I was intrigued that there should be a bright, high, full moon. It was also quite large (but not unrealistically so). As I watched, it completed the full lunar cycle, while nothing else in the environment changed.

I wanted to move closer to the moon, but I realized that would require me to go through the screen. I was trying to find a way around it rather than having to pass through it, but I realized my physical body had stopped breathing. That pulled me back. I tried to recapture that dream environment when I resumed breathing and my body felt safe, but it was no use.

Part two. Then I dreamed I was in my current house, but the piano was on the west wall of the living room instead of the north wall, as it was an old upright instead of the one I have now. I was working my way through a new book of sheet music I had bought. I had started at the back of the book, but I realized there were Christmas songs at the beginning of the book and decided to play those. When I turned to that section, I realized the pages were purple and glittery. The notes were gold stars (they were so bright and vivid it seemed like they were actual stars on the pages). I was trying to sight-read the pieces but the staffs were almost invisible at the beginning of the book and completely invisible as I continued turning the pages.

I realized there was someone on the bench beside me. I didn’t see a face or body but had the feeling that this was some authority figure. When I sensed the presence, I didn’t look up from the book of sheet music I was now holding as I squinted in attempt to read it, but I did feel the need to explain what I was doing. The presence did not reply, but I decided it was futile to try to dissect these CHristmas songs and I stood up.

I realized at that moment that I was wearing a ridiculous cocktail dress, something a teenager would wear to a dress party. It was entirely too short. I was holding a container of sparkly purple fingernail polish. Standing there in these tall high-heeled shoes, I started painting my fingernails with the polish. Then I woke up.

I have a slight feeling that the presence on the bench with me in the second dream may have been a future version of myself, but it is just a guess. I felt like the sheet music was just beyond my reach, like it was a language I can’t understand...just yet.

[Michelle11]

Did your father struggle with depression at all? Do you struggle with it? Your authority side (father's place) appears to be in a period of relative dark. This could be a dark mood or you are in the dark about something. But this phase will pass as they all do. Something is blocking you from getting to the heart of the matter. You are in the process of trying to get around some form of protection (screen) that is in place to keep you safe. Sort that out and you will shed light on the situation.

The situation may relate to writing music. Do you have a desire to write music? You may have a talent for it or it could be that you want to write your own tune instead of conforming to someone else's. Live to the beat of your own drum as opposed to your father's maybe. But you may be a bit distracted by the idea that how we look is important. You know this is ridiculous but may not be able to stop yourself from trying to look the part everyone else expects (all dolled up and sparkly). How we look may not be specifically about our physical looks but how we are perceived as a person. Many cultures promote the idea that our status especially in regards to our career is what gives us value. It's a false perception of where anyone's worth lies. So maybe check within to see if there are any misguided ideas about who you are supposed to be blocking you from expressing who you really are