To continue off my last story.....
Before that event I had never heard my guardians voice... or at-least in that capacity... I think at the same time I was kinda going through some kind of emotional phase. I didnt really have any problems in school and I was a pretty happy guy unless angered or bully attempted..... anyways the thing that was eating at me was my mind.... it started off a joke and over time the words... I am a horrible person started to sink in and become a reality to my mentally. I would feel bad about nothing.... I think my fathers standards and the fact that I couldn't go to school anymore and was wondering what I was going to do next with my life was probably the icing on the cake. (Sorry some of this is factually chronologically out of order but around the same time.) At the same time I was experiencing these lows I was also experiencing highs but on accident....
I want to invent things and have been writing down inventions since I was a kid and as I was laying in bed one day before a nap I had a lavender candle going and I was thing about an invention.... I was contemplating how I could have a craft with no windows see in pitch black or murky waters... as I was visualizing the contraptions I would create and how it would work I accidentally started a vision... ( I forgot to mention... around that time I would get full on visions like being in a movie... I was really good at getting out of such visions though so I only saw a bit of it. I did not know what was going on and I was not comfortable with the way it felt... Also I use to see faces and eyes looking at me kinda in a sepia color sometimes... When I was around crowds which was usually around church my neck would kinda have the urge to turn towards someone... like I was drawn to them and words would start to come out... but like I said I was pretty good at canceling this stuff.. but I now know that possibly I would be a medium looking to channel) So this vision... It was like a camera was taking me through some scene of me directing other people where to move machinery inside this massive concrete building.
At the same time I was observing this I heard the same ladys voice..... Thats it Terrance Now your doing it!! She was so enthusiastic about it and she kept saying it maybe 3 or 4 times. I could also hear a mans voice but it was lower than hers and not easily understood. I think I watched this vision the longest... Possibly they noticed that I was okay with the vision once I heard someone talking that sounded friendly.
So back to the emotional side of feeling bad for nothing... I was working at a cafe and I had only a few hours of rest and was really sleepy. When I am sleepy I cant contain my energy well.. I usually hide it for safety reasons.. lol long story short... Anyways there I was... and a couple ladys came up to place a order... I could sense that the other person knew about magic... and she looked at me kinda weird... she told me that she was a very good psychic and that people pay her thousands of dollars to have a reading with her.. lol She said that she wanted to give me a reading... I was like hells yeah free reading haha.
We sat off to the side... she took the words right out of my head in the first statement.... "your not a bad person".... long story short she wanted to burn a 6ft candle in a grave yard and I had to make a donation to a "charity" in order for her to do it for free. I was broke at the time lol and all I had of value were my guitars... lol she wanted me to give her a cheesecake from my job... I would of paid for it if I had money but I didnt. I could feel an intense feeling in my gut but I had no idea what that could mean... I then weight the offering of a stolen cheesecake and how that would basically be bad karma from the start so I had to decline....
anyways this is where I had a major change in my life......
It wasn't long after that I had a dream.....See: (
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=114868)
The dream I had basically showed me why I was in my emotional state. I fought hard to get to a point and when I got there.. I saw a being I loved a long time ago... it was like a emotion that was dormant for many life times had been ignited... this was the first time I felt
Love.
This event was a turning point in my life... it opened my eyes to other things and led me to be more compassionate and to understand why I was doing, acting and saying the things I did. It helped me become conscious of the work I came here to do and where I needed to go...
haha thats all for now. I think you can kinda guess how the rest of my life is going in this regards... I think the thing that really made all this shift was that I made the decision that I wanted to live in the light and to be a person of light... I want to honestly be as loving as I can be... and God has acknowledge it and knows the universe just started to help me out......
There was one time where I was "homeless" struggling and fighting a good fight... I was doing all these great things and being loving and kind and here this person was doing all this evil... I would fight within myself each day when that person came around or when I couldn't find something to eat... I would have to bring myself up but sometimes I would finish work so late and not have time to meditate and bring up my vibration.... One night... a phantom hand... drew on a large white canvas.... it was a eye.... the eye had the universe inside it..... "The universe is watching" is what I got from it...
I think being in such an emotional state made me stronger because I had to say more things that were true to make myself have a higher vibration... at the same time I was re learning to astral project... and I was able to see beings working on my energy field.... long story short...
you get the picture :)
Hope you liked the story..
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