Deathwish

...Obviously scares people, some more than others. That's why I haven't really told anyone that I have a very immense deathwish, had for 7 years now (I'm nearly 22). I want to die because I want to return home. I haven't ever felt like this is my homeplanet, especially in this time period. I have always known that I have my purpose here and will proceed with what we call life, but the deathwish is always present.
The odd part is that I'm happy. In fact, those who knows me says I'm the happiest person they have ever met. They see me as a very loving and caring person, always showing affection and gratitude.
I was around 15 when I got aware that I wanted to drown more than anything. Being embraced by the water and disappearing down in it's depths.. 5 years later I was told from several people not knowing of each other that in a previous life I'd been a pearl diver, and if it's true it does makes sense.
Past years I've also longed in other situations when death just have been one action away, such as on high heights, or by train tracks..
I love to watch and listen to people who has had NDEs, maybe I shouldn't watch them as my wish gets intensified, but I find myself unable to stay away.

I know there's people out there who feels the same way, are you one of them?

[astralsuzy]

You are young, do not wish your life away. Enjoy your life while you are still here. Time goes very quickly and before you know it, it is over. Try not to think about it as it is not healthy. Your purpose is here, to learn, to grow spiritually, (not sure about that one), help other people and to get on with other people. I know you cannot get on with everyone.
I admit there are times when I think I could not be bothered with this life anymore. It is such a pain. I have to go on. I have to be here until my time is up.

[Native spirit]

Hey Childheart.

You are not alone in feeling like you do i do as well, but i also know that i wont go back to spirit until im in my eightys,81 or 82 around that time, i also know this is my final path to walk, i wont be back again,
i have faced death in the face a few times, always to be bought back, i have a very good inclination of what i must do, and am in the process of doing it, you are very young im not as young as you are, but somethings dont become apparent to you until you get older, going for past life regression may work for you, it could give you a clearer understanding of feeling like you do,

Namaste

It's like someone who hates school and just wants to go home. A lot of us feel that way. I did when I was younger as well. Why was I being punished here? Why did they send me here when I don't fit in?

Normal and it occurs when the passage from the Other Side to here doesn't completely wipe out our memories of past lives and home. Maybe you are meant to know those things for a reason. Find the reason and use it to live life to the fullest here. :) Maybe you are meant to teach others. :)

[theophilus]

You should be careful what you with for because you might get it. After we die we must face God's judgment. Here is a test you can use to find out whether or not you are ready for it:

http://needgod.com/004.shtml

[forevergirl]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Hey Childheart.

You are not alone in feeling like you do i do as well, but i also know that i wont go back to spirit until im in my eightys,81 or 82 around that time, i also know this is my final path to walk, i wont be back again,
i have faced death in the face a few times, always to be bought back, i have a very good inclination of what i must do, and am in the process of doing it, you are very young im not as young as you are, but somethings dont become apparent to you until you get older, going for past life regression may work for you, it could give you a clearer understanding of feeling like you do,

Namaste

Fascinating, thank you for sharing this! xo

Actually, I kind of know how you feel. I'm not suicidal or depressed or anything, but more just... I feel like I have better places to be. Of course, that's not something I'd actually bet my life on, and I have a feeling if I was actually staring death in the face I'd run screaming. I have a life here and I'm going to live it, no matter how weird it feels to be here... I do hope you're not suicidal because you're here on Earth for a reason.

Please don't misunderstand what I've said, I have a longing, and nothing to it. It's just a feeling I have, and I have absolutely no intention of following that wish. Like I've said, I know I have my purpose(s) here, so there's nothing to worry about.
It just gets hard sometimes, to live with this feeling. I don't know if I need to make some kind of radical life change or so, to make this life more like the one I'd have "at home", or if I just need to learn how to live with what I've got..
But in time, I'll get all the answers I need.

All I wondered was how many others out here feels about the same way.



childheart

Yes Childheart, I have felt like this for as long as I can remember. My life has just always felt temporary. It is nice to know that it's not only me that feels this. I just wish that I had a set of instructions that outlined my purpose in this life lol.

rc

Many have felt a strong connection to elsewhere in the Universe & had a strong longing to return. Suzan Carroll wrote about this longing being useful to reestablish an energetic connection to our extended energy field (SELF). After this initial longing that often includes our feeling like we don’t fit in, we often settle into an easy acceptance about this, shifting more to anchoring our whole energies here & having fun w/ the experience.
Enjoy the journey for it is a journey of joy where ever we are.

I’m sensing a focusing on wanting death that is MUCH more than the longing most have about realizing that they are from elsewhere & wanting to return. Be careful what you ask for, as you just might get it & not in the quick easy way that you might imagine like a sudden fall or being hit by a train. Longing for death may well manifest in a way where it is long & drawn out where one can savor it for years & years, every day.

We are here to fully explore humanity to add this experience to our repertoire. Have fun exploring while you are here. There can be many lessons that we have chosen to learn while we are here & these can be different for everyone. One of these can be to learn to be fulfilled where ever we are in the Universe.