what the hell was this?

[epoch]

Kinda makes me wonder if after a long enough period of time stuck in the cycle of incarnation, as an entity endlessly dividing through infinite stacks of layered self-souls through countless worlds diffused throughout the multiverse, if we all might not reach that point of desiring annihilation. That utter dissolution. I understand the ultimate goal for consciousness from the perspective of many people here is to return to that universal Oneness, but I sometimes think that idea seems improbable. Like putting toothpaste back in some divine tube. I'm not sure absolute annihilation is any more possible since I don't really see a huge difference between that and the universe returning to one complete state of unity, since it would have to contain all things being suspended beyond the concept of time and space - you can't be One and there be a comprehension of things beyond the One because then there's a multiple and in duality there is separation. And in that no-state of everything beyond time it's like an instant where everything completely drops away and you can't have reincarnation or perpetual experience, so it's the same as total dissolution.

I feel more like we are those beings of entropy and chaos... maybe just younger particles, spiralling off on some fractal arm. Just not yet quite so fractured and jaded enough to want to quit.