Who is projecting what

[july14]

In a nutshell, I went through my TF (or whatever it was) experience some years ago. One of the most frustrating and painful things in the whole story was not only his denial of our connection, but his denial and laughter at the things I told him I picked up on. I'm talking about visions, physical sensations in the body (like imbalances, medical conditions etc that were having at the same time). dreams that would manifest in reality and he'd talk about before I would say a word. And all of that just blatantly denied and ridiculed and labeled as a projection from me onto him.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, I got this sudden thought of writing to him. I did and we ended up talking for several hours in the course of a couple days.

This is where it gets interesting. I started feeling a whole bunch of stuff I used to feel before: loss of energy, discomfort, pain, etc. But, none of it was mine. The feelings were all so familiar, only difference was that they were somewhat stale, tired and felt unconscious on his part. And it hit me. Holly shoot! With capital letters. hahahah

It was never me projecting. It was always him, but because we both were unconscious, and I'm an empath and an indigo and was so blinded by love, oh and did I mention energy sponge lol, so because of all this lets call it stuff, cos we are not allowed to swear , I just absorbed all his issues and took upon me to deal with them. His issues and mine (I had plenty myself).

Go back and read again the previous paragraph. The one projecting is highly probably NOT the chaser, but the runner. But because the runner just runs away from it all, the chaser is left with double baggage to deal with.

I'm not trying to glorify chasers and vilify runners. We all play our parts I guess, and in a way the runner's role is less fortunate if you think about it. especially if they are in complete denial, because then there's nothing to push them outside of the lukewarm pee they are sitting in.

So again, this may not make the pain easier if you are in the middle of your ordeal. But have a think about it

[doordie]

How do you know you are feeling his emotions? It actually sounds like psychosomatic sensations caused by you dealing with this person. I can almost guarantee you won't feel them if you distance yourself from this person. I know it's tempting to think that the person is your Twin Flame or whatnot, but don't you think you are making a heck of a lot of assumptions on somebody's part (like, unconscious feelings on his part, and the fact that he is a runner). People forget to listen to other people. Don't let your "visions" and dreams make you deaf to actual words from a person, when he denies your "connection".

[july14]

I appreciate the value of playing devil’s advocate, but you may have missed the point of the post, which was to show a different perspective to a very common one chasers have.

Cheers

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by doordie

How do you know you are feeling his emotions? It actually sounds like psychosomatic sensations caused by you dealing with this person. I can almost guarantee you won't feel them if you distance yourself from this person.

I agree with this diagnosis.
I have felt the same miserable psychosomatic sensations in bad marriage, horrible working conditions, and with narcissistic co-workers.
Once I removed myself from those, I felt fine and happy again.- until the next bad situation.

[doordie]

Originally Posted by july14

I appreciate the value of playing devil’s advocate, but you may have missed the point of the post, which was to show a different perspective to a very common one chasers have.

Cheers

the perspective doesn't seem to change -place a whole bunch of assumptions on the connection and the prey and then analyze every single twinge of the heart to imply the connect persists. Disregard everything that person tells you in real life. I don't see how that's different to a common perspective.

[july14]

Interesting how you seem to think you’ve figured out I’m making assumptions. Based on one post. Really? Yet you don’t see all the assumptions you made...

For those reading and in the midst of their ordeal, let them get a perspective that shows them they may not have to carry all that weight, and they may not have to be riddled by guilt over what they could do differently. It takes two to tango.

Again, thanks for the contribution, but also understand that this post was about showing a perspective, not an invitation for judgments.

[doordie]

Originally Posted by july14

Interesting how you seem to think you’ve figured out I’m making assumptions. Based on one post. Really? Yet you don’t see all the assumptions you made...

For those reading and in the midst of their ordeal, let them get a perspective that shows them they may not have to carry all that weight, and they may not have to be riddled by guilt over what they could do differently. It takes two to tango.

Again, thanks for the contribution, but also understand that this post was about showing a perspective, not an invitation for judgments.

you are making assumptions as to who is projecting. That is a perspective, and an assumption. Didn't guy tell you that he doesn't think there is a connection? Then why assume there is?

[T.L.M.]

july14 - I understand exactly what you are saying. as I would have walked away from this situation already.

doordie -
Also, having someone deny or affirm the connection does not mean it is/isn't happening(fact/fiction).

__________________________________________________

Sometimes one is in denial of a connection because of multiple reasons: such as fear, lack of love, or the fact that they don't like what the see(appearance).

Futhermore: When you experience a twinflame connection, weird spiritual-stuff happens that is not completely explained. Like feeling and seeing GOD as yourself on a metaphysical level - Good luck explaining this to people who are not going through it!

ALSO: I can deny the connection all I want, but feeling the connection constantly, day-in and day-out as it gets stronger, the shared dreams, the telepathy, ect., only makes me believe more, regardless of circumstance, or if I didn't believe in it at first...

[july14]

Oh I have, years ago. This was it seems a little rendezvous I needed/wanted to get that confirmation that I wasn’t crazy hahaha. I don’t know if we’ll ever go back in that full swing pulling/pushing, but sensing what I was picking up on , I want none of it whatsoever.

For those who can’t phantom this happening, know this. It can get better. And you can get to a point where it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Anyways, love to you all still struggling and to those too from the time I was a heavy poster, if you ever sneak peek in here

Trouble is, the twin flames thingie as portrayed by almost everything on the web is positively laden with assumptions and encourages its marks to raise a lot of unjustified expectations about the people they chase. When said "runners" don't comply or won't respond they're encouraged to ascribe it to fear or not being ready; and nurture their hurt and anguish, in some cases succumb to obsession.

It's fine if someone believes a relationship is worthwhile to pursue it but there has to be a realistic point at which pursuit should stop. Obsession blurs this point and too many culprits waste so much of their lives here sore with unrequited emotion.

Unless parties quickly converge on exactly the same beliefs they're unlikely to be a twin-anything. Emotional love is too often used as an excuse to possess. You can never own another's emotions let alone their person.

Such are my views.