Overcoming Being Judgemental

[maggie2]

I really need some wisdom here. I have been going around in circles on this for some time and would like nothing better than to find an answer that will help me to move on from this question.

I have a real challenge with people who condemn others...for example, those who condemn gays, lesbians, Muslims, non-Christians, etc. etc. However, in judging their views that makes me just as judgemental as they are.

I understand that it is not my place to judge others and do not wish to do that. I also realize that each of us is at our own place in our spiritual growth and that when we know better we do better. This has helped me somewhat but I still struggle with this at times.

So how do you deal with people who judge others and point fingers at them without you pointing your finger at those doing the judging? I do not want to be judgemental so want to find out how to overcome this challenge.

Your thoughts and ideas would be most appreciated.

Marg

[John32241]

Hello Marg,

I am inclined to see each of us as being on a different path. Those that are judgemental have been conditioned to be that way for the most part.

I focus my attention on that divinity within each one of us. I can relate very effiortlessly with that authentic human expression who is not really being their true self. Since I have been there myself and as a result I can empathize with them.

John

John said it well. Cultivating empathy and compassion will naturally lead to being less judgmental. If you look for it, there is always a valuable utility in cultivating spiritual values.

[maggie2]

Thanks John,
I too see each of us on a different path. I too have been there, and as I said in my OP, I am STILL there to some extent. It's good to know you have found that you can "relate effortlessly with that authentic human expression", I admire that. However, I guess what I really want to know is what train of thought brought you to that place?

I appreciate your input. Thanks.

[lemex]

The way you said what you did may be a teaching momment what judgement is. From this you can understanding. Examine that maybe. I don't let peoples emotions affect me or allow their fear or anger be mine. I don't take it on. I'd say don't lose your clairty, love, or spirituality. You can be the light. What if it's all about fear, how does anger or fear solve that. Maintain your love and nothing else and you will be able to answer any challenge. iwo what is one seeing. When you see you see it and that is your anchor.

[baro-san]

Originally Posted by maggie2

I really need some wisdom here. I have been going around in circles on this for some time and would like nothing better than to find an answer that will help me to move on from this question.

(1)I have a real challenge with people who condemn others...for example, those who condemn gays, lesbians, Muslims, non-Christians, etc. etc. However, in judging their views that makes me just as judgemental as they are.

I understand that it is not my place to judge others and do not wish to do that. I also realize that each of us is at our own place in our spiritual growth and that when we know better we do better. This has helped me somewhat but I still struggle with this at times.

So how do you deal with people who judge others and point fingers at them without you pointing your finger at those doing the judging? I do not want to be judgemental so want to find out how to overcome this challenge.

Your thoughts and ideas would be most appreciated.

Marg

I think that we should also use our judgment, left hemisphere, not only our emotional, right hemisphere. We should be discerning, and not overgeneralize anything (convictions, opinions, attitudes).

I wonder, would you be inclined, as well, to critically judge (1)those who condemn racists, sexists, and such? Why not, because you agree with them? Because you feel that's right, and the other is wrong? So you still use your judgement.

I think that we should never paint everything with the same color, attitude, emotion, expectation.

[Snow Goose]

It's a hard one and something I think about often but accept there is a bigot in all of us, we all hold negative opinions of others, those that say they don't are talking rubbish.

We all generalise every now and then but the power comes when you realise what you are doing. You can stop it or you can explain it ("yes I know I'm generalising but I'm just trying to explain something I have came across").

The wisom comes in knowing we all do it and that sometimes there is truths in the generalisation, though there is no doubt that there is exceptions to all generalisations :-)

[Nature Grows]

Well... for a start it sounds like your being judgemental of yourself for being judgemental, it's ok to have thoughts, you don't have to get attached to them speak out or act on them against others though. Understanding that every one is on there journey and every one is at where there at can help, i kinda see humanity as all little children who don't know what they are doing... and thats helpful to me to not get angry at them or take things personally, i still get angry with people sometimes though but if you can just relax and calm yourself and find that stillness to be in, thats good. You can also try see that every one is trying there best with all the social conditioning, hurt, fear, sadness and confusion they have.

Another thing that i can relate to is what John said in the earlier post. I see other people in street, some of them i think.. i use to be just like that (as in behaviour and thinking)

Originally Posted by John32241

I focus my attention on that divinity within each one of us. I can relate very effiortlessly with that authentic human expression who is not really being their true self. Since I have been there myself and as a result I can empathize with them.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by maggie2

So how do you deal with people who judge others and point fingers at them without you pointing your finger at those doing the judging? I do not want to be judgemental so want to find out how to overcome this challenge.

Your thoughts and ideas would be most appreciated.

Marg

You may find the Work of Byron Katie helpful. We all tell ourselves stories of how people should or should not be, and we believe our stories. We then suffer because people do what they do which may not conform with our stories of what they should do.

So Byron Katie focuses on helping us to see our stories and then let go of these stories. We can then let other people be as they are, because that is what they do. There is no need for anything to be other than it is.

Peace.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by maggie2

I really need some wisdom here. I have been going around in circles on this for some time and would like nothing better than to find an answer that will help me to move on from this question.

I have a real challenge with people who condemn others...for example, those who condemn gays, lesbians, Muslims, non-Christians, etc. etc. However, in judging their views that makes me just as judgemental as they are.

I understand that it is not my place to judge others and do not wish to do that. I also realize that each of us is at our own place in our spiritual growth and that when we know better we do better. This has helped me somewhat but I still struggle with this at times.

So how do you deal with people who judge others and point fingers at them without you pointing your finger at those doing the judging? I do not want to be judgemental so want to find out how to overcome this challenge.

Your thoughts and ideas would be most appreciated.

Marg

When the world is being itself as it is and knows, you can observe and notice how you feel and how it reacts in you to build a deeper grounded level of peace in all that. Understanding reasons why people are as they are, can build a whole host of understanding that fits you. When you have a bigger grasp on a bigger picture, you have more choices from within you as to how you respond and behave in the world even with all that judgment happening. The world is as it is, it is full of hatred, anger, fear and judgment. It is also full of love, joy, peace and happiness. Your post is showing you don't fully understand but within your heart you don't want to be this way. That is beginning of understanding you don't have to be, there is always more. Looking deeper at the stem of judgment can support you to understand the deeper underlying reasons why it exists in the world, how the conditioned environment of most of these folk, has built these incredible walls to protect and fight back. There are many ways to fight back and many ways to protect others. Remember that all of us were innocent children once upon a time and the world has created itself over them sadly. Conditioned judgement runs so deep in many, they cant see any other way to be. This again is the nature of some in the world today.

You can lead as a peacemaker from within and make choices from that place. Fighting fire with fire, creates more fire. What mark do you wish to leave on the world? What ripple do you wish to land in the world even as the world is as it is. Its up to each of us aware to move as we are aware of how to be ongoing, we all do our best and we learn through process how we can do better if we are open to observe ourselves ongoing..