How to ask "me" time?

[umbridge]

Because I am the only child in the family, I have always had time to be alone. But when I communicate or connect with others too long, I need to load myself from the energy and I do not know how to ask for it.
Its like I cannot be with near them anymore or start picking fights.

One thing is - I am not very sure when it happens and why it happens and somehow I just want that people would pick it up subconsciously, but when I am living with someone I cannot say that please go away I cannot stand your company anymore.

When I say that I want to be alone, they do not get it. And when I really have not had the time to be alone, I become moody, I feel loss of energy and acting childlishly.

Usually walking, jogging and cycling helps me, but sometimes I just that I need to be alone. And when I say to other person, leave me alone, I want to be alone, then usually they get offended.

I am not good at expressing my real needs. What I want, when I want and how I want it.

Maybe I should really live alone. Because seem to not get the point that I really like them but need (for my own wellbeing) to be on my own.

I am extremely sensitive as a person. Have been since childhood.

Any advices? How to express myself better?

As you said, people won't get it. You'll just have to make up excuses and distance yourself.

But if you COULD afford to live alone, do try it. It could be REALLY wonderful for the right kind of people.

[umbridge]

It is not very nice of me, but yes, usually I have done it. Making up things to be alone and then feeling guilty.
Some of them does not understand why I do not want to go when for example my friends wants to hang out etc I need my time.. sometimes they say even that I am too selfish. And why I need my alone time when I had time to be alone in my childhood.
Even my own mother seem to not get me. She thinks that wierd that a young woman needs or wants to be alone. And she is making me feel even more guilty. That I miss all the fun..but I am not sure if people want to see me feeling down, in a bad mood, picking fights, drained and tired?

I guess I am introvert.

[Tanemon]

I'm sure you've heard the terms "extrovert" and "introvert". One way of defining the terms says the extrovert gets his or her energy from other people (social contact, participating in groups, etc), while the introvert gets his/her energy from being alone for a time. It doesn't mean the extrovert can't enjoy being alone or doesn't ever wish to be alone, and it doesn't mean the introvert can't enjoy being with other people or doesn't can't ever enjoy the nergy of a group or even a crowd. It's more what is each one's natural inclination for restoring their personal energy.

Many 'spiritual people' tend toward introversion of one kind or another. It does not imply that the introvert actually doesn't like other people.

Usually as people get older and more mature (say as they approach the age of 30), they come to better understand the nature of persons of the opposite leaning: extroverts tend to gain understanding and appreciation of introverts, and vice versa. By talking with them, possibly you can help people along in this process of understanding and accepting the introvert personality.

I think you'll find that friends will tend to understand you better as time goes on. Possibly you'll find it more convenient to make excuses at times, but probably less so with time.

[joyfirst]

Originally Posted by umbridge

Any advices? How to express myself better?

I totally understand, since I have a need to be at least two hours a day by myself in order to feel good. If I get them - then I am in much better mood and more relaxed. Could you just tell them directly, that you want to be in the room by yourself(and explain why)for certain time frame, and if it is not possible, maybe you could go somewhere away -like a study room in the library, park, hiking place? It is not the same, because people are still around, but they don't know you and you are more alone.
For me it was hardest, when my son was a baby and toddler -I would literally have no time of my own, except on rare occasions.