standing up for yourself

I was part of a group once in which one man acted as a 'guide' for spiritual development. But for some, that guidence involved the idea that showing strength in their sexuality (to him) was part of what they 'needed' to become stronger spiritually.

I am not a moralist and there are many spiritual practises which I may disagree with, but I would live and let live. But in this case, I saw the damage and the potential for greater damage in what this man was doing. So I stood by my own sight and spoke up about it.

The situation eventually lost me all the friends I'd made in the group, and it effected my mental and spiritual health for a while too.

But from where I stand now the value of the lessons and the depth of development from that time is proving immensely valuable. For all the heartache, I wouldn't change what I did - it was a bridge I had to cross to get to this side of it.

I just want to thank all of you for all these responses! You have no idea how much it is helping me. reading each of your posts seems to just speak something to me and different things you have all gone through. it is all worth it at the end even though it is hard at first. nothing changes if we don't change. so thank you all! and I just wanted to say that I recently jut started writing in a journal and it is really helping m express my feelings. I can look back and just pick up on the ways I am feeling and the common themes.

Thank you thank you thank you! :)

[Emmalevine]

I'm late to this hread but just wanted to say I struggle with it too. I find it very hard to stand up for myself because of many reasons; bullying as a child leading to low self esteem, not wanting to hurt people's feelings, fear of conflict, and more. I know how painful this can be. I'm mch better at it now I'm learning to set my boundaries and protect myself emotionally (I'm an empath) and basically knowing I'm worth it. I haven't read all the posts as I have to start some work but I hope you find a way that is helpful to you.

[Seawolf]

I have a hard time confronting people directly. I can ignore them and stop talking to them, because if they're abusive or manipulative I don't feel like I need to even talk to them. I just don't let them be a part of my life and soon they get the hint. But at the same time I feel like it might be better to confront the person so they at least know where I'm coming from. Maybe it would be good for my self esteem if I stood up for myself in a direct confrontation instead.

Thank you Starbuck! I totally feel you because I am an empath too! we definately need to set boundaries for ourselves. And I am seeing that there is a difference between standing up for yourself in a positive manner vs a negative manner. Haha thank you for joining the thread!

and Seawolf, thank you for your input. I am very much the same where I ca easily walk away and leave, but it is the confrontation WHEN it is necessary to do so that I am needing to work on. Good luck on your journey! I think "gentle, but firm" haha.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by 4everLove

Thank you Starbuck! I totally feel you because I am an empath too! we definately need to set boundaries for ourselves. And I am seeing that there is a difference between standing up for yourself in a positive manner vs a negative manner. Haha thank you for joining the thread!

and Seawolf, thank you for your input. I am very much the same where I ca easily walk away and leave, but it is the confrontation WHEN it is necessary to do so that I am needing to work on. Good luck on your journey! I think "gentle, but firm" haha.

I know what you mean, 'nice' people don't like to confront others. Gentle but firm sounds very good to me though! I've done it before, I need to make a point of continuing that way. Good luck to you too!

Thank you! We can be support for each other since we both know what it is like!

[CrystalSong]

4everlove it's not actually possible to get along with everyone, there were people who didn't like Mother Theresa if you can imagine that!
By the way you have a very beautiful loving enenergy =D

We all vibrate at varous levels depending where we are on our Journey, when there's too much of a disharmonic (difference in vibration) between us and another we can't even understand each other and friction develops. No one's right no one is wrong it's just the nature of things.

There will always be people vibrating at a slow low level who look for every oppertunity to create disagreement, it brings them pleasure from the level they are currently experiencing and can relate too. You can allow that too...I prefer to do so from a distance! lol

Allow people thier own truth from where they stand at the moment, no need to sway your words to make them more comfortable, state your truth, live yours and allow others theirs. We can allow this just by being silent and smiling gently.

Your post made me smile, CrsytalSong! and that makes great sense! even Jesus was killed because not everyone liked him. I am learning a lot lately. This has been quite in experience for me. I think the best is too allow and not fight against things. Peace and Love always :)