My best friend

I normally do not share stuff about my personal life but this situation has left me so destrought that I need some opinions about people who are also spiritual.

I have a best friend for over 15 years.We know each other from numerous other lives as well.
She is very intelligent and fair enough she has to a certain extend always listened to me when I needed it.But recent events made me wonder if there was not a reason behind her listening, so that she could cover herself up and hide behind her manors and intellect.
I on the other hand have been raised in such a manner that I did not go to a proper school and I was not raised with the best of social skills a child can have.I am somewhat seen as a modern 'feral child'.My mother was not a woman who could raise a child and I was mostly neglected.I was fed and on the outside we appeared a normal family.Anyway, due to this, I struggle being around groups and people in general and am sometimes unable to express myself and.My instinct are in someways primitive and scattered.

This friend always managed to get me to do things whereby my instincts told me to run, which I did not do, because she recognozed the feral in me and explained to me, that the feelings and thoughts I had were incorrect.This process between her and me has been going on for years, whereby she would 'correct' my behavior.So all the thoughts and feelings I have developed over the years have been hers and not mine.A few days ago it came to a clash whereby I walked out of her.I was visiting her because she is very ill, a heartpatient, who has decided not to have the surgery she needs to survive because she is convinced she can heal herself.I walked out because nothing I did for her was good enough etc.She is according to her awlays right and shuts people up with her intellect.Nothing and nobody is good enough.I also left because I literally felt my heart breaking when she told me it I was not good enough.But I feel guilty, she is very ill and has/had no one else then me.

I truly never want to speak to her again,but it is eating me up inside.....I feel she has used me.She is not well off financially and I have paid besides her bills everything else she needed such as food or the outing we had etc.She even tried to come between my husband and daughter... I feel so very very used and manipulated

Dear Rosa, Look after yourself and your needs first, you realize that she wasn't a good friend, she has been taking advantage of you, and if you don't feel good around her that should tell you something. Her problems aren't your concern. It has been a life experience, you should move on, concentrate on yourself and your family.

I agree with primrose, you have a family to take care of, and it sounds as though she is this negative force in your life. Your needs and the needs of your family should come first...it will hurt to distance yourself from her, but at this moment perhaps you both need that.
I hope it all works out

xo
spin

Thank you Primrose and Spinachie for that vailidation and support.It is indeed time to move on and take better care of myself.

I found this, which gives things a different perspective

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL1jvU0JR_U