why can't i see anything?

hello forum members,i have been lurking and reading your insightful posts and i decided to join and ask for some help. i want to say that i am 32 year old male and i literally have no family or friends. i am really struggling financially. i also suffer from general anxiety disorder and depression. i spend alot of my day and night in constant fear. i fear death the most.

now,what i wanted to know is,what is the "trick" to seeing deceased loved ones? my mom died in June of 2011 and she was the only person that i had and i know that she would try to make contact with me if she could. since her passing,i have not seen,heard of even had that dream where my mom would say that she is in a good place and for me not to worry. i do have dreams where my mom is in them,but that is just my subconsiousness.

i will admit that i am an atheist but i am agnostic to the thought of an afterlife and that we have a soul/spirit. i really want to believe that my mom is out there and that she can see me. i just have not received any sign and i am losing hope that there is an afterlife. that is causing even more anxiety for me. i never said goodbye to her as she died of cardiac arrest in the hospital and i want some of your help.

i read that many of you can "astral project" and see dead loved ones in lucid dreams. can you please tell me how i can do that? i am all alone,though i do have social workers and psychiatrists who are nice people that are trying to help me with my life. but i would really want to make contact with my mom and know that when my time comes that i can see her and my grandma,who i also loved,too. i am also fine if death is really nothing,but i am alive now and i need to see if this is possible. thanks!

[Tobi]

Hi Lurker, try not to be scared. I know it's easily said, and we all get scared sometimes. But hang on in there.

There is no-one's experience that can really convince you in your "knowing-place" -except your own. But it helps to hear other peoples' experiences, and what they have discovered.
Your mom has passed over to a new life on the Astral Planes. How do I know this? As a result of my own experiences. Though I have only had a few experiences they were crucial and vital ones and changed my way of seeing, and my life.
My dog showed me. Yes, my dog. (the link below "A dog's life after Death" -and what happened to convince me) -If she's there, they all are. Send your loved ones your love from your Heart. Just lie down, relax your whole body totally, (maybe listen to some beautiful gentle music) then feel the love and beam it out. They will "hear" it.
There are umpteen reasons why we do or don't get visits/dreams/contact with our deceased loved ones. Believe it -it's NOT because they don't love us. Most often it's because we don't ever get still enough mentally and emotionally to be able to listen or sense.
Blessings to you on your journey and I wish you good health.

Hi Lurker and welcome to the forum.

Sometimes we cannot connect to our loved ones because our vibrations are lower than theirs. Our grief blocks us from hearing and seeing them. You can raise your vibration by learning to be happier. Sometimes spirits can reach us better as we sleep when our minds are quiet. You can ask if your mother would visit you in your dreams and let you know if she is okay.

Since you have general anxiety and depression, all you can do to feel happier will improve your health and happiness. It is amazing how much we are in control of our own happiness without realizing it.

Try to do some reading to improve your outlook and to become more positive. This will help the anxiety. It's not enough to just stop being negative, we need to replace those negative thoughts and worries with positive ones. Reading will give you some ideas.

A nice spiritual book to open you to positive ideas is The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. Then you might also try The Secret. The first few pages of the Secret may give you great encouragement. It was written by a woman who was experiencing great grief and how just reading one book led her on a journey of discovery.

You say you have no friends. Well, many of us have a lot of acquaintances and only a few friends we let close to our hearts. It's much easier to have and maintain friendships when we are positive because that allows us to be more outgoing and confident and helps us to feel like doing things. Like attracts like, so you will attract the same type of people to you as you are. Try to be the kind of friend you would like to have.

I'm sorry you are experiencing such a fear of death. Sometimes it is scarier for all of us at one time or another. I went through a period of time when I felt that way. Then I went through childbirth and as a result of the pain, realized that I would have died willingly to end the pain no matter what waited beyond death's door. After that I was free from the fear of it. One day I was scared and the next day I wasn't, so it can be resolved just by understanding a different perspective.

We are only meant to experience things when they happen. When you worry and obsess about them, you experience them 1,000's of times and often much worse than it really would be. Try to think about how you can enjoy living instead of focusing on dying.

I realize that you have stated you don't believe in God. I do.

I have had several visions and experiences that have convinced me Jesus is real and there for us. I always believed there was a God, but in a distant way. It was only when I was ready to stop walking away from believing in him and I turned and faced the possibility that he was real that I began to see proof. When I believed in him, he gave me proof.

When I began to truly believe in him, I was no longer lonely. I was no longer unhappy and I began to live my life in a much fuller and more loving way. What if I'm right and he is real and all you had to do was put your hand out for him to take it?

I've given you several suggestions that may help relieve your anxiety and set you on a path toward happiness. I hope something here helps you.

Love and peace,

Originally Posted by lurker011

hello forum members,i have been lurking and reading your insightful posts and i decided to join and ask for some help. i want to say that i am 32 year old male and i literally have no family or friends. i am really struggling financially. i also suffer from general anxiety disorder and depression. i spend alot of my day and night in constant fear. i fear death the most.

now,what i wanted to know is,what is the "trick" to seeing deceased loved ones? my mom died in June of 2011 and she was the only person that i had and i know that she would try to make contact with me if she could. since her passing,i have not seen,heard of even had that dream where my mom would say that she is in a good place and for me not to worry. i do have dreams where my mom is in them,but that is just my subconsiousness.

i will admit that i am an atheist but i am agnostic to the thought of an afterlife and that we have a soul/spirit. i really want to believe that my mom is out there and that she can see me. i just have not received any sign and i am losing hope that there is an afterlife. that is causing even more anxiety for me. i never said goodbye to her as she died of cardiac arrest in the hospital and i want some of your help.



i read that many of you can "astral project" and see dead loved ones in lucid dreams. can you please tell me how i can do that? i am all alone,though i do have social workers and psychiatrists who are nice people that are trying to help me with my life. but i would really want to make contact with my mom and know that when my time comes that i can see her and my grandma,who i also loved,too. i am also fine if death is really nothing,but i am alive now and i need to see if this is possible. thanks!

Please know that your Mother is alive and well---she is happy, healthy, beautiful and free as a bird........ Dream visits are not as common as you might think, but there are myriad other ways that they are able to connect with us....These are called ADCs (after-death communications)..... There is a book, website and message board entitled "Hello from Heaven" where you can learn about this---flickering lights, your tv changing channels by itself, butterflys landing on your hand, songs on the radio, pennies or other coins that appear out of nowhere and synchronsities that look like coincidence, but aren't.......and don't think that when you see your Mother in a dream, it is your subconscience. Spirit has the ability to pop into any dream and that is their way of telling you that they are ok.......

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

Just so you know, many spirits choose to seek contact with their loved ones when they are ready and sometimes it can take a while. There is a possibility that she has not fully crossed over and might not be ready to send you signs, dreams, etc. My advice to you is to find purpose in your life and live it as fully as possible and try your best to not focus so much on what you are not getting from her. That is probably the best thing you can do in her memory.

Also, you mentioned not believing in an afterlife or spirit/soul. As a medium, I can tell you that spirits tend to want to send signs and whatnot to those who are open to them so it is a very real possibility that you are not recieving the messages you are hoping for simply because you are not open to believing in what happens when this life is over.

[Albalida]

Welcome! I just want to say: though you can't see anybody around, you are loved. There is a future and there is a way. And if this is not true, if unconditional compassion and hope is not true-- then neither is this intractable loneliness or fear.

Originally Posted by lurker011

i also suffer from general anxiety disorder and depression. i spend alot of my day and night in constant fear. i fear death the most.

It's good that you notice this. How long or how much, can you stay in the state of merely noticing your own condition? Because then you might be able to get to the root of your fear of death. This is a good fear, however: many depressed people rather long for death. If you fear it, could be there remains a positive spark and drive-- and all you need to succeed is to feed that spark, or first find ways to feed it.

now,what i wanted to know is,what is the "trick" to seeing deceased loved ones? i do have dreams where my mom is in them,but that is just my subconsiousness.

Everybody connects and communicates differently, so the trick is finding your way. The way you work, to connect and invite experience and communicate. Can you describe one of these dreams? How did you decide that it was your subconscious?

i read that many of you can "astral project" and see dead loved ones in lucid dreams. can you please tell me how i can do that?

First, even if you achieved the experience... there is a type of doubt that is self-sustaining. Because of your anxiety, I would judge that this is the type of doubt that you have: not doubt as a tool to find the truth (which is positive doubt, and you'll know it from the feeling of stability and peace that "the benefit of the doubt" will give you) but an illusion in and of itself. There's a flip side to that, a negative faith that attempts to turn the untrue into truth, and a positive faith that gives you sustenance.

Second... the way that I do it? I make myself... temporarily die. You're afraid of death, so... I wouldn't want to send you walking right into glass doors, so to speak.

By "temporarily die" I mean that, in order to move out of my body-- well, I continue to breathe, and my heart continues to pump blood in my veins. I remain physically alive. However, I shift into a mindstate so relaxed that I might as well be dead. I must release even the desire to astral project. Since you would be doing this meditation in the first place because you desire to astral project, this might be difficult for you.

The trick is to just let it be... but let it be in a certain way. Think of the empty space in front of your face. Think of the empty space in front of the empty space in front of your face. Just think about that, and forget yourself.

If you're relaxed enough, and you were able to retain that idea of being somewhere else-- without wanting to be somewhere else, and without even knowing the location of else that you would be-- then you would have some quite violent symptoms. You will feel a strong wind, and hear screaming, and you will only get past this if you still do not care about what's happening. You will feel as if you are lying in the backseat of a car as it drives over a very rocky road, and you will only get past this if you do not care what you hit or how you move. You must not fear. You must not want. I used to be able to do this, but now that I'm happier and more grounded/energetic in life? I cannot. My instincts get in the way.

And then, afterwards, you should be in the same room that you were meditating in, but you have removed your body as if your body were a coat. Yay.

So... then you'll have to figure out how to move around. It's... difficult to describe, but it's just different. You won't have arms or legs, so walking or swimming through the air isn't really what you'll be doing.

I've heard that you can go to the afterlife realms by "raising your vibration" but by my experience the scene will just... change. Once you figure out how to move? One moment, you're in your room. Next moment/movement, you're in your room and the sunlight looks so different. Next moment/movement, it feels like you're in some pitch-black void and a sheet of cold rain is passing right through you. Next moment/movement, you're in a strange grassy garden and people you don't know and have never seen before are having a party, and you know what they are thinking even as you can hear them saying something else. Next moment/movement, you have a body again but it's not yours, but you're stuck inside it somehow for the next several seconds while the body's owner moves it around. Next moment/movement, you're high in the sky while fireworks explode around you and you don't even know what country you're looking down at. Every time, every time it was like this for me! I used to do astral projections regularly, and now can only conclude that THE ASTRAL IS A WILD AND CRAZY PLACE. It's like it's more clear, but less stable than a dream.

So, if your mother is going through the same thing, but without the anchor of a body (because you will always spring back to your living body) then it might be better to stay still and wait for her to figure out how she can move around, and then for her to find a way to haunt you on some level. Perhaps she already has, but the signals are coming through in your dreams as something that looks like a subconscious invention or memory.

[samantha]

Hi lurker and welcome to the forum.

Have you tried meditating it can help your depression and anxiety it will also help you spiritually. Fear can also be blocking you too, i had a fear of death a while ago, i just had to keep telling myself to stop thinking about it and there is nothing to be afraid of and it eventually stopped. Meditating on your chakras may help your fear along with anxiety and depression, you could also use EFT tapping for the fear as well.

Hi Lurker,
I have in the past suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. I was also terrified of death. So, I certainly understand and sympathize with how you are feeling and what you are going through. Anxiety can be very overwhelming. I can tell you that during my anxiety, I did not receive any form of after-death communication, signs or have any spiritual experiences. I was too caught up in my fears and emotions for anything or anyone to get through. However, once I resolved my issues and became more positive, happier and hopeful, I started having all sorts of wonderful experiences. I received many signs, my intuition increased, and I began have amazing connections with deceased friends and loved ones.

What worked for me was EMDR, which is a newer treatment for anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. A form of EMDR, called IADC, has even been used to induce after-death communications and resolve grief. You might consider checking out the EMDR first, since it will help tremendously with your anxiety. Then you may be more open and receptive to signs and communication from your mom.

Hope this helps!

Pinkroses

Loneliness is a big cause of fear, anxiety and depression. Human is a social animal he can't live alone. You should try to be busy full time or now its the time to go for marriage and start your married life you will feel better.

Originally Posted by lurker011

hello forum members,i have been lurking and reading your insightful posts and i decided to join and ask for some help. i want to say that i am 32 year old male and i literally have no family or friends. i am really struggling financially. i also suffer from general anxiety disorder and depression. i spend alot of my day and night in constant fear. i fear death the most.

now,what i wanted to know is,what is the "trick" to seeing deceased loved ones? my mom died in June of 2011 and she was the only person that i had and i know that she would try to make contact with me if she could. since her passing,i have not seen,heard of even had that dream where my mom would say that she is in a good place and for me not to worry. i do have dreams where my mom is in them,but that is just my subconsiousness.

i will admit that i am an atheist but i am agnostic to the thought of an afterlife and that we have a soul/spirit. i really want to believe that my mom is out there and that she can see me. i just have not received any sign and i am losing hope that there is an afterlife. that is causing even more anxiety for me. i never said goodbye to her as she died of cardiac arrest in the hospital and i want some of your help.

i read that many of you can "astral project" and see dead loved ones in lucid dreams. can you please tell me how i can do that? i am all alone,though i do have social workers and psychiatrists who are nice people that are trying to help me with my life. but i would really want to make contact with my mom and know that when my time comes that i can see her and my grandma,who i also loved,too. i am also fine if death is really nothing,but i am alive now and i need to see if this is possible. thanks!

Merry do we meet and well met we are (indeed).

First--may I just say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my Beloved (5) years ago and I know how you feel.

Now--second--you have to rid yourself of all your pre-conceived notions concerning communication and contact--for it occurs in many different ways.

You are seeing and hearing from your Mother in your dreams--when in dreams we are (also) traveling in the Astral Realm.

If you will--I would like to suggest a dream journal. Place a pencil/pen and a spiral notebook beside your bed and write down your dreams the moment you awaken--before long you will begin to see messages forming and start to remember your dreams much better.

Messages can (also) come in the forms of smell (such as her favorite perfume/soap)--or maybe her favorite song could play on the radio. Signs can occur in Nature (as well)--or a line from a movie that reminds you of her--once you begin to connect the possibilities are endless!

Peace and Love on your path to learning how to Read the Signs...

Blessed be...