Heard from him

DaisySunshine · #1 09-11-2017, 04:16 PM

After nearly 6 weeks of being ignored I got a text from my twin.

He said what he did goes against his values and feels he messed up too bad to ask me to be his friend. He apologized and said he can only pray I can forgive him. He said he loves the girl he is dating and she is the one he wants to be with, and his feelings for me were too strong. He also said he needed space because even though I have some very difficult things I'm going through right now, he felt as though they were happening to him too and it was stressing him out and scaring him to death.

Anyway. I asked him what he truly wanted. He said to be my friend. I told him I always thought we made good friends but need clear boundaries to be healthy. He agreed, and said he is busy this week with projects but will think on it next week about how we could make being friends healthy for us both.

I found that after him being gone for almost 6 weeks, I feel less intense towards him. I wouldn't say I have any negative feelings about him, but I don't feel a sense of desperation and need. I know I can be just fine on my own without him in my life. I don't *need* him in order to be the person I want and succeed at life. I don't say this in a bitter or passive way, I just noticed it when we talked. I expected my obsessive feelings to come back but they didn't.

I'm thinking about what boundaries we would need. Yes there are obvious flirtatious things, but I crave deep friendships in life, and I don't know yet if the boundaries best for him take away what I desire in friendships, and if so, would that work for me?

I'm not asking anyone here to tell me what to do, I can do that on my own. I just wanted to share and also am open to thoughts or comments from others.

In all the relationships I've had in my life nothing has been like this one.

unicorn68 · #2 09-11-2017, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

After nearly 6 weeks of being ignored I got a text from my twin.

He said what he did goes against his values and feels he messed up too bad to ask me to be his friend. He apologized and said he can only pray I can forgive him. He said he loves the girl he is dating and she is the one he wants to be with, and his feelings for me were too strong. He also said he needed space because even though I have some very difficult things I'm going through right now, he felt as though they were happening to him too and it was stressing him out and scaring him to death.

Anyway. I asked him what he truly wanted. He said to be my friend. I told him I always thought we made good friends but need clear boundaries to be healthy. He agreed, and said he is busy this week with projects but will think on it next week about how we could make being friends healthy for us both.

I found that after him being gone for almost 6 weeks, I feel less intense towards him. I wouldn't say I have any negative feelings about him, but I don't feel a sense of desperation and need. I know I can be just fine on my own without him in my life. I don't *need* him in order to be the person I want and succeed at life. I don't say this in a bitter or passive way, I just noticed it when we talked. I expected my obsessive feelings to come back but they didn't.

I'm thinking about what boundaries we would need. Yes there are obvious flirtatious things, but I crave deep friendships in life, and I don't know yet if the boundaries best for him take away what I desire in friendships, and if so, would that work for me?

I'm not asking anyone here to tell me what to do, I can do that on my own. I just wanted to share and also am open to thoughts or comments from others.

In all the relationships I've had in my life nothing has been like this one.

sounds like ur capable of figuring stuff out for yourself!!

LunaBlue · #3 09-11-2017, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

I found that after him being gone for almost 6 weeks, I feel less intense towards him. I wouldn't say I have any negative feelings about him, but I don't feel a sense of desperation and need. I know I can be just fine on my own without him in my life. I don't *need* him in order to be the person I want and succeed at life. I don't say this in a bitter or passive way, I just noticed it when we talked. I expected my obsessive feelings to come back but they didn't.

I'm thinking about what boundaries we would need. Yes there are obvious flirtatious things, but I crave deep friendships in life, and I don't know yet if the boundaries best for him take away what I desire in friendships, and if so, would that work for me?

In all the relationships I've had in my life nothing has been like this one.

I cannot but help to stir the pot a little by saying if he is your Twin Flame touching upon his memory will feel similar to poking a deep bloody bruise while you are apart. You will go on gamely saying it is what it is but, in reality, it isn't what it should be.

This isn't obsession. This is a soul need that cannot be denied. Life goes on, you go on, you go to work, raise your kids, have your health issues, deal with elderly parents, celebrate birthday after birthday after birthday - but all the while there is a missing dimension that you may be completely unaware of. It's not at the forefront of your mind during your busy days and years and decades. But it is there.

Wait and see. Six weeks apart is very small in the timing of the universe. If already you are moving on and away perhaps you are yet to meet your true Twin. Or are readying to reconnect with this individual at the correct time.

Blessings.

ssdm1 · #4 09-11-2017, 05:56 PM

Daisy I am so glad!!

From my own experience I always felt this would be the case. I hope you can both work out a deep friendship.

This is never, ever easy.

Aldous · #5 09-11-2017, 06:54 PM

You have no choice but to forgive each other. Its actually easier than it sounds. When you get to be old, relationships don't matter as much as they did when you were young. BTW, for the fun of it and boredom, I've been telling people in public about my out of the body experiences that I've had for decades. They usually try to get away from me. I think it might be more fear than thinking I'm crazy. Another strange thing I discovered is the censorship and silence associated with the tuberculosis problem. Drug resistant TB is at record levels and is getting worse and worse all the time. Its often the number one infectious disease killer world wide, mostly in poorer countries. Its preventable and in most cases its curable. Ignorance and neglect is the main driver of its incredible magnitude.

ssdm1 · #6 09-11-2017, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LunaBlue

This isn't obsession. This is a soul need that cannot be denied. Life goes on, you go on, you go to work, raise your kids, have your health issues, deal with elderly parents, celebrate birthday after birthday after birthday - but all the while there is a missing dimension that you may be completely unaware of. It's not at the forefront of your mind during your busy days and years and decades. But it is there.

I could not agree with this more.

Nan948 · #7 09-11-2017, 09:25 PM

Wow, you have come a long way. You should be proud of yourself. Just continue on this path and remembering that two halves do not make a whole. Two wholes make a whole.:-)

I am happy that you are happy that your twin contacted you.

As for the friendship with a twin flame. I don't have advice on this. I am not sure how to have a friendship only relationship with such a strong connection and with someone I want to knock boots with. Not that you said that you want to be knocking boots with your twin flame. That is just how I feel about my twin.

Oh goodness, I am not being helpful here.LOL

But hats off to you for recognizing the connection and want to try friendship. Nothing wrong with trying. :-)

unicorn68 · #8 09-11-2017, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nan948

Wow, you have come a long way. You should be proud of yourself. Just continue on this path and remembering that two halves do not make a whole. Two wholes make a whole.:-)

I am happy that you are happy that your twin contacted you.

As for the friendship with a twin flame. I don't have advice on this. I am not sure how to have a friendship only relationship with someone I want to knock boots with. Not that you said that you want to be knocking boots with your twin flame. That is just how I feel about my twin.

Oh goodness, I am not being helpful here.LOL

But hats off to you for recognizing the connection and want to try friendship. Nothing wrong with trying. :-)

i LIKE that one.two wholes make a whole.wonderful!!!thats definitely one im going to share with her when the time comes....

DaisySunshine · #9 10-11-2017, 02:00 AM

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not apathetic by any means. Deep down, for some reason beyond logic, I want him. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... I want him. Do I want to kiss those lips? Yes. Stay up all night tearing up the sheets? Yes. Marry him? Build a life and family? Grow old together? Yes. The passion is tgere, believe me. If he texted me that he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to pursue me romantically... I would be on cloud 9.

However, he ignored me for 6 weeks and I lost it. I cried, refused to eat, lost a zest for life and constantly stalked him on social media, obsessing over him and analyzing for hours. Thats no way to live. I can't change how I feel for him but I had to put it in a box and tuck it somewhere safe. If he decides to open that box one day... It's there. But right now he is choosing to pursue her. He obviously needs this. They may date a few more months or years and break up. They may marry and eventually divorce or may be life partners. We don't know. I know he and I will be together eventually, this life or another, but I can't force it on his part.

unicorn68 · #10 10-11-2017, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not apathetic by any means. Deep down, for some reason beyond logic, I want him. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... I want him. Do I want to kiss those lips? Yes. Stay up all night tearing up the sheets? Yes. Marry him? Build a life and family? Grow old together? Yes. The passion is tgere, believe me. If he texted me that he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to pursue me romantically... I would be on cloud 9.

However, he ignored me for 6 weeks and I lost it. I cried, refused to eat, lost a zest for life and constantly stalked him on social media, obsessing over him and analyzing for hours. Thats no way to live. I can't change how I feel for him but I had to put it in a box and tuck it somewhere safe. If he decides to open that box one day... It's there. But right now he is choosing to pursue her. He obviously needs this. They may date a few more months or years and break up. They may marry and eventually divorce or may be life partners. We don't know. I know he and I will be together eventually, this life or another, but I can't force it on his part.

again and not for the first time im gonna emphasise this.big time.IF he is indeed your twin flame,then you are literally 1 soul inhabiting 2 bodies.he feels you and you feel him.therefore you can choose.to hurt.and knowing that it is hurting him.or to love.and KNOWING that he will feel that love.do you HONESTLY want to HURT yourself?in other words flip around your thought processes and LOVE yourself as you would send that LOVE to your twin.its IMPORTANT.and if he is not ur true twin then what harm is it to actually LOVE yourself?learning to let go is also an important thing.to set yourself free.as you are setting him free.we are moving beyond the idea of possession and having to possess.i know its hard,ive been there.but LISTEN to my TRUTH.PLEASE.IF he is indeed your true twin flame and not a 2.99 version then he WILL CHOOSE to return of his own FREE WILL.who the hell are you to control him?