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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Auras & Chakras

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  #11  
Old 12-12-2016, 11:04 AM
Michelle11 Michelle11 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Necromancer
How I see it, is there's a difference between the heart and the heart chakra.

The heart is a physical organ, prone to disease, genetic or otherwise, while the heart chakra corresponds to openness, compassion, gratitude and love.

These emotions have been associated with the heart due to the release of adrenaline which often accompanies their expression.

For example, when I get 'surges in my heart' I experience tachycardia and palpitations due to having a nervous system disorder called dysautonomia.

When I get 'surges in my heart chakra', this corresponds to the love I feel for the Divine which feels like God is using my 'heart' for a pin cushion and of course my heart will race wildly because I am in love, but the feeling is totally different from my dysautonomia.

I need to get me one of those halter monitor things too because whenever I show up at the ED with 'chest pain' doctors cannot find anything wrong either....so they take my blood looking for changes in the triponin levels...saying 'if anything is wrong, it would show up in the triponin levels'....which isn't really accurate....so I am going in for a cardiac perfusion study and hopefully rule myself out of anything being 'seriously wrong'.

Can you sense that the pain is physical? I have some ailments that can cause a short burst of physical pain in my heart but I also have experienced emotional pain that can feel like someone is stabbing my heart though on one level I know it isn't physical, it's purely emotional. If it clearly feels physical then do push for further testing. Good to rule out anything serious. best of luck with the test.
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  #12  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:21 PM
astralwanderer astralwanderer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
mental trauma can cause us to sub-consciously avoid emotions. It begins with numbing one emotion, but the human body cant selectivly numb just one feeling, it can only evade situations that bring it up, when the conscious decision is made (either sub-consciously or consciously) to numb one emotion they all begin to numb. It's just how the brain works.

I did have quite an eventful summer emotionally. My parents went through a nasty divorce and my mother said some very hateful things to me, for which I'm sure I'll never get an apology. I haven't spoken to her in six months and probably won't ever again. ... Which is fine, as I feel it's best for my family and myself to sever those ties.

But I did get a stomach ulcer and lost 10 pounds (which doesn't sound like much but I was already thin). I've been on a medication regimen for the ulcer for 12 weeks now, and I'm starting to feel better with the stomach issues.

I'm doing great now emotionally. :)

Maybe what I'm feeling is healing from the emotional trauma caused by my mother.
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  #13  
Old 15-12-2016, 01:10 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astralwanderer
I did have quite an eventful summer emotionally. My parents went through a nasty divorce and my mother said some very hateful things to me, for which I'm sure I'll never get an apology. I haven't spoken to her in six months and probably won't ever again. ... Which is fine, as I feel it's best for my family and myself to sever those ties.

But I did get a stomach ulcer and lost 10 pounds (which doesn't sound like much but I was already thin). I've been on a medication regimen for the ulcer for 12 weeks now, and I'm starting to feel better with the stomach issues.

I'm doing great now emotionally. :)

Maybe what I'm feeling is healing from the emotional trauma caused by my mother.

This is not my place to give you words that go against what you feel inside. But from someone who was abandoned by his mother in one of his times of greatest need ( as a 16 year old) and who didn't speak to her for a year, didn't say he loved her for many more, I urge you to reconsider at least turning that relationship into something more loving. Forgivness for an unforgivable act is one of the hallmarks of being a human, God isn't even necessary, this power is within us. Loving someone who has made love near impossible is another.

The stomach issues are almost certainally caused by the emotional upheavel and crisis you have been enduring. When crisis hits it's the brain, the heart, and the gut who do all the heavy lifting and feel the most wear and tear.

Pain in the gut, in my experience, comes from when I am repressing or denying my inner self and it's efforts to remedy the problem. I feel the gut is like the front line of defense, and it's method of working is repression of thoughts into feelings. Painful thoughts become knots in the stomach, prolonged stress held in the stomach region leads to digestive disorders and painful medical complications. (It was stress gastritis for me, lasted 6 months but was only bad for 2-3)

---

my experience caused me to have a nervous breakdown and is considered one of the biggest spiritual experiences of my life. I learned to love and forgive people I hated, I grew as a person because of the immense difficulty of that experience. When life got difficult and I lost sight of those lessons I suffered again. Lifes worst experiences are the places where champions are made, and its never easy. I wish you the best of luck in remedying this difficult situation.

-----

The apology that will never come, I understand totally. My mother remains sturdy in her position that she did what she did with the best of intentions and for my maturation. It took me a long time before I realized that I will never get an apology because when she admits she was wrong, she will feel more pain than she ever has felt before, and I don't want that for her. I've come to realize the compromise she made in being able to at least listen to my pain and side of the situation was enough, asking for her to change her belief about who she is, just to ease my pain, is wrong in my opinion because I don't want her to take my pain unto herself. I want her to free herself from the pain of her actions, as I have free myself from the pain of both of our actions. To do that all I need to do is keep the door open for her, I call her every month or so (she lives 3000 miles away), I love her and forgive her unconditionally, and I let her walk her own path that she needs to being there for her in any way that she needs me to be.
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  #14  
Old 15-12-2016, 01:15 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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I should add that I wanted to hate her for the rest of my life, I wanted to crush her soul and spirit and bring her into the hell I was going through. It's through the grace of God and against my own inner thoughts that I managed to say nothing at all. If I had done what I wanted then i would live with myself knowing I crushed the one who gave me life, an insignificant thought at the time, but in the span of 80 years knowing "I hurt my mother as bad as anybody can hurt another human being" , even if only know sub-consciously, is enough to bring down the mightiest into a shallow pit of despair. Instead I live, without identifying with, knowing I have done the strongest and best thing I could have done in the situation. I set my own desires aside and said what do we need, not just what do I want.

The best a person can do is transforming what was done to them into something powerful and beautiful. Maybe that pain becomes a garden, or a painting, or a reason we listen to friends who are hurting. Whatever we make from our pain in a good way will please God, even if we turn our pain into nothing but a memory of how we once felt. God doesn't like when we do unto other what has been done into us in pain, he wants us to take the pain of others into our self and transform it with love and forgiveness, then give love and forgiveness (which is understanding as well as many more things) back to the earth as a whole. Sometimes its just one person we help, but when we help one we help all they will encounter, same with when we hurt them.

It was the rest of my family encouraging me to at least call her. She wouldn't call me and still has only called me once in 8 years. I was weak in knowing what I wanted back then so I gave into them against my inner judgement.

it's only through the grace of God that I was young and dumb enough to listen to them instead of what I wanted. If I had only done what I wanted and not listened to the people advising me then I probably wouldn't have a relationship with my mother to this day or them either. I hated them all but I was unwilling to forsake them as I felt they had forsaken me, when I considered them my enemies to healing and growth I gave them love and forgiveness instead of hate, that really helped us all in staying a "happy" family. Praise God for the strength within us that we never knew we had.

Our relationship now isn't what I'd want it to be but it works, we still communicate and are there to support each other when we need it. And believe me parents do need the support of their adult children. My mother may have 20 years of age on me but she doesn't have the wisdom I do, she does not have the same kind of internal strength I do; we complement each other, despite all our many differences.
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  #15  
Old 15-12-2016, 02:27 AM
astralwanderer astralwanderer is offline
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I'm so glad things worked out for the best with you and your mother.

After repeated hurts from mine throughout my entire life, this was kind of the final blow. I absolutely, unconditionally forgive her. There's not even any rationalization behind it ("she's so broken, she doesn't realize," etc...). I forgive her.

I prayed a lot about it and the answer I got was clear: reconciliation is not inherent to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not mine to withhold or give; in fact, forgiving her is as much a gift I gave myself as one I gave to her.

I have no enmity towards her, but I can't allow her to maintain a presence in my life when that presence has a very strong track record of being against my best interests.

She texts me every now and then (3 times in the past six months, always on someone's birthday) and asks how the kids are. I always reply, in effort to keep it cordial.

I truly hope she has a good life. I hope she finds peace. I feel like this is the best place I can be right now, but that's not to say I'm not keeping an open mind for the future.

---On the stomach ulcer, wow! It took you 6 months to heal? I've been treated for this since early October and am still throwing up a couple times a week. I was hoping I was either about to turn a corner or it was gall bladder instead. I guess this is normal?

They told me mine was because of a combination of stress and because I was taking NSAIDs too often. I was having a lot of headaches. :(
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