Supressing emotions

[umbridge]

Supressing emotions so much that it leads to the pain the heart chakra, leads to drinking, smoking, partying and other get-away things


I feel like I cannot express my true feelings and I have to hold myself back
because of the fear of getting hurt

I have tried and tried and tried, but its seems like I really need to change my concept of that

But I am able to rationalize my feelings so much that they are rarely felt and suddenly some day all these emotions what I have hold inside me come to surface

There something wrong with me and relationships. Me and commitment and..

I just hurt myself intentionally, at least it seems so

And I have problems with forgiving


any advice?

thanks