Lizzie

[Moon_Glow]

I recently did a self-regression and came upon a past life that makes so much sense... but is so sad.

I was born in the 1960s or 70s I think, this memory is very clearly from 1972.

My name was Lizzie and I lived in England and was very close with my Aunt - I may have even lived with her. Aunt B (cant make out her name so I stick with B).

I was sad, I was depressed, I was a punk and an addict and I died alone.

I led a sad life, I loved someone deeply and they never knew, I died by myself of an overdose. I don't know what year I died in but I was in my 20s.

The winter of 1972 I remember seeing snow in my memories and I remember being with Aunt B in her house - I know which room I used to stay in - I remember sitting at her big kitchen table drinking tea. I remember the cars that are parked on the street and the colors of the houses on our row.

Remembering her makes me so sad. Remembering me makes me sad.

Learning about her makes so many aspects of my personality and how I have always felt unworthy, not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough... all these insecurities always puzzled me and my very loving, supportive parents. They always said I was dramatic, but they couldn't comprehend the level of hurt that I felt on the inside, even as a young child. I remember vividly being very small and my mom asked me to clean my room, I was afraid I hadn't done a good enough job and I started slapping myself as hard as I could on my arm scream "I'm bad! I'm Bad" my parents never hit me, ever. I did this several times throughout my life and never knew why.

I'm one of those who went through life as the "funny one"... us "funny ones" are usually covering up something sad with all the laughter... I just never knew where my sadness came from but I feel like it has to do with Lizzie.

[StarChild]

Yeah, I carried a ton of sorrow around with me until I finally processed it and let it go. Laughter really does help so I hope you get some comic relief! Namaste.

[Moon_Glow]

Originally Posted by StarChild

Yeah, I carried a ton of sorrow around with me until I finally processed it and let it go. Laughter really does help so I hope you get some comic relief! Namaste.

Yes - I agree - I have done so - it so strange how we carry these feelings that don't really feel like our own...

[Moon_Glow]

I recently wrote this about Lizzie:

Before this is my name was Lizzie and I lived in London.
This is the story of Lizzie.
Born in London in the year 1962, Lizzie didn’t have the happiest of childhoods. She spent a lot of time by herself and with her beloved Aunt B. (I think her name was Beatrice). Aunt B was one of the only people who “got” Lizzie and I think that she also played a part in raising me.
She is so huggable – Aunt B – I can feel her dress on my cheek as we embrace. I am 10 years old and it is 1972 – I was outside playing and I fell and skinned my knee… I was crying the confused and upset tears of a young girl who just fell in front of her friends. Embarrassed, hurt and bleeding Aunt B wiped my tears away and assured me it was the other kids with the problem, not me. Aunt B always knew the right thing to say.
I have strong feelings that Lizzie spent much of her time alone. When she was in words seemed to escape her. It was in her private time – her time alone – that she really showed her emotions- they were her secret thing – she hid a lot from the world, her pain, her despair.
I guess I am writing this so maybe I can uncover a little piece of her, a girl who hid from the world and only ever wanted to be loved.
I think that Lizzie’s biological parents had hard-partying ways themselves – issues and urges that couldn’t be controlled. They loved her but loved each other and their drugs more. They visited Lizzie when she lived at Aunt B’s. They were wasted, laughing the whole time, mom was falling out of her top, I was embarrassed and sad and when they left I cried for hours because I just wanted a mommy and daddy who loved me. I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t love me.
As a teenager I was withdrawn and sad – quiet and lonely. I had a couple close girlfriends.
When I was around 19 I met some people who I felt really understood me. They had tough beginnings too but these people were so happy, so alive. Being with them made me feel alive. They showed me was to mask my pain. Things I could take to make me forget. I no longer felt the hurt or the pain… but as soon as the things would wear off the pain was back tenfold.
One day Brad/Brandon/Brendan/Ben (not sure) showed up. Medium brown hair sweeping over his face – a serious gaze. He was brilliant and beautiful and he didn’t know I existed. He said the most intelligent things, engaged in the most prolific conversations I had ever witnessed. There was so much that I wanted to know about him, to talk to him about. I wanted to get to know him. I felt I knew him before –I felt like for the first time in my life my heart was beating.

After a few months of all hanging out we finally began speaking alone and became very close friends. He was dating another girl in our circle but she was a real **** and didn’t treat him how he deserved. I listened to him as he cried about the girl who didn’t deserve him. We were up all night, talking, crying, laughing… I was planning on telling him that I had feelings for him. “Feelings” does not even do justice to what I felt for him. The most unimaginable, whole, warming love I had ever felt.
After our all night pow-wow I went home. I took some drugs (it was early morning at this point) and apparently I took too much. I just wanted to go to sleep quickly. I took too much.
I never woke up from that sleep. There was a lot of speculation as to what happened to me. It wasn’t a secret that I was a user at this point in my life. And it was also no secret that I was quite depressed most of my life. There was no note – because I was not planning this. It was an accident. And I never got to tell him.
He grieved at my passing but moved on – had a wife and 2 boys, he became a professional and bought a house in the country, but her never forgot that girl who stayed up all night with him and died the next day.

[Floatsy]

Moon_Glow

What a personal sharing. Thank you. I could feel the sadness in your first post. I hope this helps you heal. You have a kind heart. I'm lucky to meet you.

[Moon_Glow]

Originally Posted by Floatsy

Moon_Glow

What a personal sharing. Thank you. I could feel the sadness in your first post. I hope this helps you heal. You have a kind heart. I'm lucky to meet you.

Aw thanks Floatsy!

[Unseelie Queen]

Oh my goodness, remembering the more sorrowful lives for the first time is always so intense. Yours is so very detailed. Have you ever been to London in your current life? I wonder if you could identify the specific area you lived in by looking at photos of it online, if you haven't been there. I've always thought it could be therapeutic (though also painful in ways I'm sure) to visit places we've lived in our other lives, especially those which had a great deal of trauma.

Also, though I don't know you in person, the name "Lizzie"/Elizabeth somehow just fits you and your energy! c:

[Moon_Glow]

Originally Posted by Unseelie Queen

Oh my goodness, remembering the more sorrowful lives for the first time is always so intense. Yours is so very detailed. Have you ever been to London in your current life? I wonder if you could identify the specific area you lived in by looking at photos of it online, if you haven't been there. I've always thought it could be therapeutic (though also painful in ways I'm sure) to visit places we've lived in our other lives, especially those which had a great deal of trauma.

Also, though I don't know you in person, the name "Lizzie"/Elizabeth somehow just fits you and your energy! c:

Hi :)

I have been to London, it was years before I knew of this experience. I had déjà vu a lot while there and a lot of stuff was very familiar. I was able to navigate the city with ease. I was only 15 and was travelling with 3 family members. I always knew right where the map was at the stations and knew which trains to take where very quickly, almost instinctually.

When it comes to the details, when I had a past-life regression years back I was asking if the details I was recalling were my imagination or facts. I was told "Who's to say that they aren't one in the same" ... I just began writing and that was what came out. I am not sure if the dates or names are accurate but it was just what came out.

Thanks for your response. I appreciate you taking the time to read :)