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  #1  
Old 27-06-2014, 04:38 AM
agapemoon agapemoon is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 69
 
Feeling the energy of others...

I'm not quite sure where my question best fits, so I apologize if it's in the wrong section.

I feel that I am very sensitive to the moods/energy of others. This most often leaves me feeling completely worn out by the end of the day. I usually require a lot of quiet time alone to recover from my daily experiences, despite the fact that I feel drawn to working with and helping others.

I currently work in close proximity with someone whose energy feels very scattered and chaotic. I tend to feel uncomfortable around this person, especially when this person is experiencing stress. I usually just try to stay out of the way. This person also tends to come across in a short, agitated tone. The feeling I get from this person is generally quite negative.

What I'd like to understand is how can I express empathy toward others while being highly sensitive to their draining energy? Also, part of me feels that our current connection is meant to be a learning experience. Going with this, I wonder if what I am meant to learn is, "compassion/empathy for the other person," or if I am supposed to learn how to be "more assertive and self-assured when it comes to expressing myself in difficult situations?" Or could it be a combination of the two?

Also, any other thoughts/personal stories regarding being sensitive to the energy of others would be very helpful to me, as I sometimes feel alone in this respect.

I genuinely appreciate any thoughts or ideas. Thank you!
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  #2  
Old 27-06-2014, 05:12 AM
Philomath777 Philomath777 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 144
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by agapemoon
I'm not quite sure where my question best fits, so I apologize if it's in the wrong section.

I feel that I am very sensitive to the moods/energy of others. This most often leaves me feeling completely worn out by the end of the day. I usually require a lot of quiet time alone to recover from my daily experiences, despite the fact that I feel drawn to working with and helping others.

I currently work in close proximity with someone whose energy feels very scattered and chaotic. I tend to feel uncomfortable around this person, especially when this person is experiencing stress. I usually just try to stay out of the way. This person also tends to come across in a short, agitated tone. The feeling I get from this person is generally quite negative.

What I'd like to understand is how can I express empathy toward others while being highly sensitive to their draining energy? Also, part of me feels that our current connection is meant to be a learning experience. Going with this, I wonder if what I am meant to learn is, "compassion/empathy for the other person," or if I am supposed to learn how to be "more assertive and self-assured when it comes to expressing myself in difficult situations?" Or could it be a combination of the two?

Also, any other thoughts/personal stories regarding being sensitive to the energy of others would be very helpful to me, as I sometimes feel alone in this respect.

I genuinely appreciate any thoughts or ideas. Thank you!


Its a combo of the two! I used to have this problem a lot... Now what I do, is that I don't actually block myself off from the energies of people, but when their energy passes through my "shell" (think of an aura, and I actually use my aura personally) any negative or harmful energies don't change me! Also, at times if I feel like they need help I will send my loving energy into them! Like a healing wave! If I feel like I'm trying to be drained/attacked I "solidify" my aura, and NOTHING can enter. The people that drain others of energy are quite literally known as a type of vampire... They come from all walks of live, and many different religion types. If that happens, I just take my energy back. If I have trouble taking it back, then I make it an unwavering absolute (they have no power over that). I have NO problem giving any energy freely, but if you just take it... then I'm going to take it all back and with these people sending love energy to them is just fueling the fire... This can be a mental strain at first (shielding)... Trying to talk to people, and keep this up is hard, not to mention the other things we have to do. It is only hard at first. Practice, practice, practice and you will get the hang of it! Also, look into gemstone and other types of minerals/rocks. They can protect you from attacks, or just give YOU a helping hand in healing someone! With other various effects depending on what you want...

Remember we are all one, if you work on yourself... you help the WHOLE (being assertive) and if you work on someone else, you are helping yourself (compassion). Its trying to find the right balance between the two, that many have trouble with! Though, with practice you will obtain mastery! Good luck with the practice!
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  #3  
Old 27-06-2014, 10:24 AM
Baile Baile is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,669
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Quote:
Originally Posted by agapemoon
What I'd like to understand is how can I express empathy toward others while being highly sensitive to their draining energy?
You are your best teacher. Learn to empathize with yourself first. It's about self-acceptance. You're learning to deal with peoples' draining energy and you're not there yet. So you need to accept that about yourself and simply remove yourself from those draining situations. You do have something to offer others, so offer it if and when the situation is right for you.

You are not responsible for anyone except yourself. You don't have to save anyone or save the world. But you do have to save the best parts of you for situations that work for you.
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  #4  
Old 27-06-2014, 12:04 PM
Greenslade
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by agapemoon
What I'd like to understand is how can I express empathy toward others while being highly sensitive to their draining energy? Also, part of me feels that our current connection is meant to be a learning experience. Going with this, I wonder if what I am meant to learn is, "compassion/empathy for the other person," or if I am supposed to learn how to be "more assertive and self-assured when it comes to expressing myself in difficult situations?" Or could it be a combination of the two?
In many ways you're so close to your own answers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
You are your best teacher. Learn to empathize with yourself first. It's about self-acceptance. You're learning to deal with peoples' draining energy and you're not there yet.

That's the one.

The experience itself is what you're meant to learn. If you step back from your own words and imagine someone else posted that, what would you say to them?

What do you have so far? Well, already you're experiencing the energy exchange because their energy feels scattered and chaotic, your 'reaction' is that you feel uncomfortable, the uncomfortable feeling is being aware that there's a difference in energy between you. Already you're well on the road to empathy, if you weren't empathic would you be feeling anything from them? And you're a long way from being alone.

What are you learning? Take a look at what you've learned about yourself so far.

If you're aware that there's an energy between you, is it a one-way street? Can you 'send out' energy for the other person to pick up on even though they're not aware of it? Think of when you're involved in a ding-dong argument with someone and it becomes very silly very quickly, both of you are engaged in an energy system that you both fuel. What do you do when a child is scared of the dark and you want to calm them down? You feel calm yourself, you send out reassuring energies and that calms them down. What you can do is suck it down, turn it around and send it back out again. When the other person sends out chaotic energies, you can use that energy to become more assertive and self-assured yourself. If you simply allow that to radiate out like an aura you'll calm the other person down - although it may take a little time. In that respect you've expressed yourself and your empathy. With a little awareness your lessons will snap into place.

If you feel drained then don't panic, nature abhors a vacuum so don't dwell on feeling drained but instead think of yourself as a vessel waiting to be filled up again. The glass is empty because it's waiting to be filled with fresh water. Maybe feeling drained is a blessing in disguise, would you want their residual energy to be inside you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
You are not responsible for anyone except yourself. You don't have to save anyone or save the world. But you do have to save the best parts of you for situations that work for you.

Well said. Agape, in that short time you're only seeing a snapshot of something a lot more complex, so cut yourself some slack. If you were meant to be changing the world that's what you'd be doing. If you're meant to change that person you will. Sometimes we're here for others' lessons as much as our own and if you don't change the person, what is the lesson? Sometimes we just have to make the best of a bad job and carry on.
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  #5  
Old 28-06-2014, 01:15 AM
agapemoon agapemoon is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 69
 
Thank you, Philomath777, Baile, and Greenslade. I truly appreciate your thoughtful responses. What you've written makes sense to me and has given me something important to consider. Sometimes I feel that deep down I'm more aware of things than I realize, it's just a matter of working through my self-doubt and learning to believe in myself.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond!
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  #6  
Old 29-06-2014, 04:56 PM
lemex lemex is offline
Master
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,078
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by agapemoon
I'm not quite sure where my question best fits, so I apologize if it's in the wrong section.

I feel that I am very sensitive to the moods/energy of others. This most often leaves me feeling completely worn out by the end of the day. I usually require a lot of quiet time alone to recover from my daily experiences, despite the fact that I feel drawn to working with and helping others.

I currently work in close proximity with someone whose energy feels very scattered and chaotic. I tend to feel uncomfortable around this person, especially when this person is experiencing stress. I usually just try to stay out of the way. This person also tends to come across in a short, agitated tone. The feeling I get from this person is generally quite negative.

What I'd like to understand is how can I express empathy toward others while being highly sensitive to their draining energy? Also, part of me feels that our current connection is meant to be a learning experience. Going with this, I wonder if what I am meant to learn is, "compassion/empathy for the other person," or if I am supposed to learn how to be "more assertive and self-assured when it comes to expressing myself in difficult situations?" Or could it be a combination of the two?

Also, any other thoughts/personal stories regarding being sensitive to the energy of others would be very helpful to me, as I sometimes feel alone in this respect.

I genuinely appreciate any thoughts or ideas. Thank you!

A number of people confirm the experiencing you mention so of course it isn't correct you are alone. Just a reminder. This experience is like any experience. Hope this helps put it in a different light.
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  #7  
Old 29-06-2014, 05:35 PM
srpurple
Posts: n/a
 
Help put back together their chaotic energy. talk to them deep. help remove blockages. So the next time you hang around them, you wont have to be stressed out that much.

But they do not seem to help themselves. I suggest you just tell them what they have to hear but in a gentle way. Then, move out a bit and try again next time. Else you'll be hurting yourself.
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  #8  
Old 29-06-2014, 05:37 PM
Faith33 Faith33 is offline
Master
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,718
  Faith33's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
You are your best teacher. Learn to empathize with yourself first. It's about self-acceptance. You're learning to deal with peoples' draining energy and you're not there yet. So you need to accept that about yourself and simply remove yourself from those draining situations. You do have something to offer others, so offer it if and when the situation is right for you.

You are not responsible for anyone except yourself. You don't have to save anyone or save the world. But you do have to save the best parts of you for situations that work for you.

This. (thanks, Baile)

Agapemoon,
Interestingly enough, you and i are in similar situations regarding this subject...been asking myself the same questions.
Oftentimes, I find myself feeling guilty...guilty for not having the energy for yet another conversation with my friend (whom is always in a frantic state) about her husband, work situation, dog. How can I empathize when her screeches hit a sensitive nerve?... guilty for not having the patience to listen to my husband complain from dawn til dusk... guilty for being so drained, I could hardly understand a word my son is babbling....I just can't do it anymore. And just the other day, it hit me....I don't have to. It's as simple as that.

When and if (haha) I feel ready, then I'll take everyone on again...til then, they're just going to have to wait.

Take care of yourself first and foremost, and when you're ready, by all means, tackle the world.
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  #9  
Old 30-06-2014, 12:45 AM
agapemoon agapemoon is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 69
 
Hi lemex,

I know deep down that I'm not alone in my experiences, but I have yet to meet someone, or rather, have a conversation with someone else about them. This is partly why I'm here, to learn from the experiences of others.

Thank you for responding!
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  #10  
Old 30-06-2014, 12:49 AM
agapemoon agapemoon is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 69
 
Hi srpurple,

Thank you for responding. I will thoughtfully consider the ideas you've shared with me.
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