Hard questions about TF emotions

[CatoriOnawa]

How do you all fall on the spectrum of unconditional love and jealousy?
- I love him unconditionally, not much for jealousy.

Are you hurt by not being chosen or in Union right away?
- We met while both of us were married. He left his wife after his awakening,
I left a couple weeks before mine. (My husband was very emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive) I was not hurt. He felt a bit responsible though, which was not the case. Neither of us had feelings other than a strong connection and friendship until I left my husband, then we were both filled with love for each other.

At what points in the situation did unconditional love and/or jealousy pop up?
- It seems to happen all of a sudden, for both of us. I don't feel much for jealousy, and he is overcoming his which stems from past insecurities.

Do you bounce back and forth?
- I bounce between accepting this and being nervous of this.

Do you tend to feel your twin is at fault for the separation or the one s/he's with?
- No. Him and his wife split up a year prior to us becoming a couple.

Can/have you feel/hear/sense your TF with another person intimately? If yes, What emotions came up with that?
- We are monogamous for now.

Does anger or betrayed ever come up with thinking about them being with another person?
- No, not at all.

If you are not affected easily by these things when did that occur and why?
- I personally have felt okay since the beginning of our relationship. I'm dealing with my past scars, and he is facing some insecurities as well, but it's unconditional love from both of us.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by psychegrl

I'm trying to get a sense of some commonalities in the TF relationships. Since the situations are so very diverse and we are all learning there may not be much.

How do you all fall on the spectrum of unconditional love and jealousy?
I am directly in the middle at this moment... maybe falling slightly more towards unconditional love.

Are you hurt by not being chosen or in Union right away?
I am...or was... Past...Present...it does not matter. i am starting to think of time as non-linear and i just try to observe my feelings as best i can.

At what points in the situation did unconditional love and/or jealousy pop up?
Again, any thought i had of her either triggered pure love or unfiltered rage. There was no in between feelings and i could swing either way at any point.

Do you bounce back and forth?
Yes... but less often now it seems.

Do you tend to feel your twin is at fault for the separation or the one s/he's with?
Yes, totally her fault...and totally mine for feeling that way. But i know it's no one's fault.

Can/have you feel/hear/sense your TF with another person intimately? If yes, What emotions came up with that?
I can feel it, yes.. However it has not been a very big issue for me and doesn't surface often.

Does anger or betrayed ever come up with thinking about them being with another person?
Same answer as 2 questions above :)

If you are not affected easily by these things when did that occur and why?
Now i am being less affected. I do not know why. It justt happened :)

Thanks for your answers
You are welcome!!! If my answers seem curt, it is because i am in a constant state of flux. Now is not the time for writing or thinking much. Much more being at peace.

[Ldlf16]

I can't seem to stop my feelings for this person but I feel intense jealousy and negative feelings as well. His mere existence seems to break my heart.


I've thought about this a lot: He owes me nothing, (nor I, him) but not owing someone loyalty does not mean you have a right to mess relentlessly with their emotions, either. If a stranger flirted so intensely while in a relationship, giving mixed messages nonstop, most people would not point fingers at my consequent anger, but would rightfully dismiss their actions as unethical. But with a perceived SC, we are supposed to just view it lovingly as a lesson? Sorry, no. I do look at why it triggers me so fiercely, at what my contributing role could be. But hurtful actions have consequences, and the idea of "your reaction is all you" is greatly oversimplified. In other words, I don't feel that unconditional love = never feeling negative emotions/always being happy for them, even as they hurt you. It feels unconditional to me because I am unable to shed the intensity of my feelings, despite the hurt.

[jro5139]

How do you all fall on the spectrum of unconditional love and jealousy?
I learned unconditional love (for everyone) through him and him opening up my chakras, he blew my heart chakra open, which has remained open to spite him crushing my heart...oddly enough. I learned to not have jealousy because of him, I no longer experience this.

Are you hurt by not being chosen or in Union right away?
Yes and no, well my ego is hurt, but intellectually and deep down inside I understand why I was not chosen. I understand that in my twin's case, he is unwilling to let love in, and I understand why he has the blocks he does and why he is unwilling to deal with them.

At what points in the situation did unconditional love and/or jealousy pop up?
Jealousy, right away, I had to learn to get over that to even be around him and keep my sanity. Unconditional love, much later, after we were in physical separation and after my spiritual awakening had began.

Do you bounce back and forth?
With jealousy, no I no longer experience this. With unconditional love, I would say it's not a bouncing back and forth, but it is sometimes a struggle to truly love everyone unconditionally, which is what I'm working towards.

Do you tend to feel your twin is at fault for the separation or the one s/he's with?
In a sense, he is the one that will not deal with his block/ issue. In his defense, it's a huge one. I feel it has nothing to do with the one he is with, and everything to do with him being unwilling to face his issue and let love in.

Can/have you feel/hear/sense your TF with another person intimately? If yes, What emotions came up with that?
No, thank God!

Does anger or betrayed ever come up with thinking about them being with another person?
No, not about the other person. I feel he is just manipulating her like he did me, and probably his wife as well. My anger is directed at him and him alone based on his actions, which were wrong in many ways. I am working on forgiving him, which has been a huge struggle.

If you are not affected easily by these things when did that occur and why?
It has been a slow, gradual process.

[Colorado]

Originally Posted by psychegrl

@Colorado -

Thank you for your reply and be compassion that you expressed for my well-being.

I don't doubt your experiences and the sincerity of each relationship you had with every one of these people. I truly believe that there are many kinds of connections that we make with people and that every connection is to help us grow in our lives. I'm eternally grateful to the men who I've been involved with before, even the ones who hurt me have (unintentionally) attempted to show me the scope of my worth. I'm a little hard headed so it too more than needed. Lol

And because you have expressed such concern, I'll tell you a bit about my experience.

I didn't want a TF. AT ALL. I spent a year of time, energy, and money trying to rid his haunting energy after I walked away from him. Seriously. I was not interested!

Yes he was the most amazing and healing individual I'd ever come into contact with and he aided in 'waking me up' but he didn't choose me so I was not allowing myself to be dragged along.

That was when my so called 'gifts' started to awaken and I was, again, so very grateful to him for that. But those gifts kept telling me there was more to this story. So frustrating!

It took going to three, 3!, different people to accept that what I was terrified of was that I was somehow tied to this man. Mind you these were people I was strongly guided to go to. Other things were predicted and came to pass as well as some amazing healings. Life changing stuff!

I'll also admit that in the year and a half that I have spent a lot of time trying to understand what a TF is and why is a thing at all. Let me tell you, there is some crazy ideas out there and some of the most judgmental people I've seen in a while. Ugh! Most sound like soulmates connections to me but with different twists. (That is what I want to sign up for! Is it too late? Please?!)

Perhaps I should tell you what I believe a TF union is. It's not too far off of what your discrbing but with less romanticism. The connection between my TF and I was beautiful and intensive but so rough. Someone made a comment about magnets and it's no joke. I've been drawn to soulmates but there was no comparison.

But he is not why I'm here. I'm here because the TF union is a job. We are meant to do serious work here on the planet. The unconditional love that is incredibly beautiful is to teach others how to love themselves. Because before we can love our TF we have to love and honor ourselves. Jesus, who I only just came to peace and acceptance with, gave me this message Himself. I've also started my other responsibilities of bringing in the Sacred Feminine's energy to ground and am learning everyday more about my divine aspect. I seriously don't have time to pine over him.

That said I do feel him and he has assisted me in my work. He's healed me when I asked his higher self to and I get visions of him.

But while I love him unconditionally and thinking of him makes me happy, he's married. At least I think he is. I haven't heard from him in two years and not spied on him in over 6 months. (That's when I finally accepted what he is. Stubborn right?) He's married and wants to be. That is fine with me. Why? Because loving someone unconditionally means I don't need anything from him to make me happy. I'm still learning what makes me happy and what my passion will be. This can only happen alone.

Since then I have surrendered to my individual faith and found the peace and harmony that makes me feel like I finally belong here.

I came to this forum because, of the people I've shared my experience with, there has similar responses to yours and I found it frustrating that someone would take their own experience and put it on another to tell them I are wrong in my beliefs. Maybe it's too many years of feeling belittled by those who told me how to live, believe and think but I get critical of someone putting their experiences on others. I'm sure it's my character flaw and I'm working on being more gracious.

We all have our own variations of our truths, like yours of a 3rd twin, that's great! I might not even end up with my TF since he had free will and can do as he pleases.

But neither him or anyone can be me or learn my lessons for me. Nor would it do me any good if they did.

In fact, I would caution you to not try to sway people from their positions but just present your experience as another POV. I don't say this to be hard but when people get told they are wrong in any way it actually triggers a fight response in their brains. (Crazy brains!)

I really want to talk about my experiences so I can continue to grow and learn. That's why I'm here posting.

Again thank you for your concern and I do understand that you were not meaning to offend. I hope you understand my position on my truth and we can talk further about these crazy spiritual connections. I imagine you have some great insight to offer people and I look forward to reading them.

With respect, P

You betcha....and I apologize if I made your experience sound too similiar to mine, and made up my own judgements from my experiences. The truth is...even if they are similiar, it doesn’t mean they are.

They only thing you can really do....is be open spiritually, and grow. No two people live the same life, or have the same outcomes.

Sometimes, Well...quite often....I feel strongly that I have been where others are. M,life has been a fast paced, spiritually strong life....but I have to remember, that doesn’t pave the way for others.

Even though I would like to protect, or give you advise....at any time, your situation could change..,.as could mine.

God works through different people in different ways.

It’s not all the same.


I certainly have such strong opinions, that I could offend somebody....and I am sorry.

It really does come from a place of protecting others, even if it doesn’t work...because I feel I have been through hell and back.

But, it’s not my place...my life path is not yours.

Thank you for the kind response, as I have a knack for ****ing people off....or judging things from my own experiences.

[psychegrl]

Originally Posted by Colorado

You betcha....and I apologize if I made your experience sound too similiar to mine, and made up my own judgements from my experiences. The truth is...even if they are similiar, it doesn’t mean they are.

They only thing you can really do....is be open spiritually, and grow. No two people live the same life, or have the same outcomes.

Sometimes, Well...quite often....I feel strongly that I have been where others are. M,life has been a fast paced, spiritually strong life....but I have to remember, that doesn’t pave the way for others.

Even though I would like to protect, or give you advise....at any time, your situation could change..,.as could mine.

God works through different people in different ways.

It’s not all the same.


I certainly have such strong opinions, that I could offend somebody....and I am sorry.

It really does come from a place of protecting others, even if it doesn’t work...because I feel I have been through hell and back.

But, it’s not my place...my life path is not yours.

Thank you for the kind response, as I have a knack for ****ing people off....or judging things from my own experiences.

You betcha....and I apologize if I made your experience sound too similiar to mine, and made up my own judgements from my experiences. The truth is...even if they are similiar, it doesn’t mean they are.

They only thing you can really do....is be open spiritually, and grow. No two people live the same life, or have the same outcomes.

Sometimes, Well...quite often....I feel strongly that I have been where others are. M,life has been a fast paced, spiritually strong life....but I have to remember, that doesn’t pave the way for others.

Even though I would like to protect, or give you advise....at any time, your situation could change..,.as could mine.

God works through different people in different ways.

It’s not all the same.


I certainly have such strong opinions, that I could offend somebody....and I am sorry.

It really does come from a place of protecting others, even if it doesn’t work...because I feel I have been through hell and back.

But, it’s not my place...my life path is not yours.

I'm so glad you responded! ♡♡♡

I'm also doubley glad you are not offended by what I said. I, too, have a sharp tongue at times when I get into my protection mode. (Total mamma bear) Not just for my own situation but for others who don't always "fit in" to contribute too. Which I can tell you is the most freeing therapy I've tried!

I love everything you said and am so grateful for your graciousness. I dislike conflict but am a true believer that facing diffences head on allows for more personal growth for me! Yay!

I can relate to what your intentions were and was often that person who wanted to help people by letting them know what I saw and the pitfalls. It took me years to really understand that it actually hurts people when you tell them how to do something or direct them. HURT! I was so upset by this that I cried. In my helping and wanting to do good, I was not allowing them to have that lesson and therefore, them having to go through another one over and over when all their learning is to wait for help.This totally changed how I saw my actions. The whole "Give a man a fish" vs "Teach a man to fish" theory.

Thank you for the kind response, as I have a knack for ****ing people off....or judging things from my own experiences.

This too is a lesson for me because, to be honest, I did get into my feelings a bit but got a nudge from higher self to go into non judgment.

I seriously love that you helped me with that! And was quite serious in wanting to hear any responses you have to your situations. I've had so much heart opening just from hearing others speak their truth. And, like you said, it all is changeable as we grow.

Thanks again for this. Made my night!

Love and light ♡

[Colorado]

You are welcome....and thank you for appreciating and understanding my sincerest truth and apology.

To answer our original questions...no I didn’t feel jealousy.

I felt telepathy, feelings, very strong and high feelings. I would ask God for signs, and they would happen. I did come across one, but I chickened out talking to them, plus I didnt want to ruin what I already had.

I didn’t feel jealousy because I was certain that they felt something on that level for me. I didnt feel they could be taken away, unless I let them go.

I was always doubtful, not of them, but of my experiences. Because I couldn’t believe that it could be real.

I was also scared, because it was real. That scared me the most.

I didn’t ever feel them having sex, but I could feel their energy with mine when they were thinking about me, or if they were sexually thinking about me, or upset with me.

For me personally, I could feel how they felt, even random feelings. Most of the time, I could just feel them going about their day.

I never tried to hype it up much, but when I felt things strongly, anxiety for no reason, prophetic dreams, images, words or songs on the radio...that hit me harder than regular feelings...I learned to take them as signs because something would happen right after that would explain the images or songs.

I do have some fairly or faulty developed psychic abilities, with a little bit of everything....but I have seen most times, I get the initial feeling or image....but because I am judging the experience, that I let myself be persuaded by that judgement...and it’s not usually right.

I’ve learned to accept these feelings and images, and to act on my feelings at the right moment and time.

Don’t wait too long, because it makes the energy awkward or more weird when the next oppertunity comes around.

I think that is the closest I can explain on how I experienced all of my soulmates or tf’s.