How do you Forgive and let go?

[MyJourneyHasBegan]

Hi all,

With everything going on in the world, i know this might seem insignificant but how do i start by forgiving someone.

I have recently discovered that some of my personal belongings have been taken from my home. I realize that it is material things and so many people have lost more in the recent disasters that has happened but i still feel so angry.
Angry that someone came into my home, my safe space and went through my personal belongings. Things that have been taken have sentimental value. I've cried, i've been angry. I've wished so many bad things on the person but i dont want to feel this way.
A part of me hopes that the person really needed money and it being use for something positive but another big part is so mad.
I dont want these negative feelings, i've realized that i'm degressing in my journey and all these negative thoughts are coming back.

I guess it just want to talk to someone and let it out.

To anyone reading this thank you for listening.

Love and Blessings
M

[marshmallow10]

You have every right to be angry and upset. I think you should feel you feelings and be angry at this person, that's completely normal. Just don't dwell on it for too long. You need to let it out or you'll just suppress the emotions.

After that, I've found the best way for me to forgive someone is to understand it form their point of view. Maybe this person had a horrible childhood, maybe they're an addict and depressed. Maybe they were just really desperate and did what they thought was their only option. None of it excuses their behavior, but it helps to understand that they are acting on their level of consciousness at the time.

Maybe instead of wishing bad things on the person, wish that they find the help they need to improve their life so they don't feel the need to steal from others anymore.

But don't feel bad that you're angry, everyone would be in your situation. I felt the same way when my car was broken into.

[lemex]

I'd be angry to. You know, things like this happening make me support the concept of hell.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by MyJourneyHasBegan

Hi all,

With everything going on in the world, i know this might seem insignificant but how do i start by forgiving someone.

I have recently discovered that some of my personal belongings have been taken from my home. I realize that it is material things and so many people have lost more in the recent disasters that has happened but i still feel so angry.
Angry that someone came into my home, my safe space and went through my personal belongings. Things that have been taken have sentimental value. I've cried, i've been angry. I've wished so many bad things on the person but i dont want to feel this way.
A part of me hopes that the person really needed money and it being use for something positive but another big part is so mad.
I dont want these negative feelings, i've realized that i'm degressing in my journey and all these negative thoughts are coming back.

I guess it just want to talk to someone and let it out.

To anyone reading this thank you for listening.

Love and Blessings
M

Having negative feelings isn't regressing on the spiritual path.

Feeling anger is the appropriate reaction to having your personal space violated.

trying to avoid negative feelings is what your problem here is. You have this idea that if you were as positive as you believe yourself to be then you wouldn't feel what you currently do feel. The difference between what you expect and what you experience is causing you pain.The truth is that it's OK to feel anger when we have been violated, no matter how spiritual we are. It's not OK to think badly of yourself for having the natural response. You will begin to feel better once you stop critizising yourself for feeling what everybody else feels.

The way to get past this experience is to be with it. Take some time and think about what happened, process the thoughts and emotions. If it's anger you are feeling, sit down and really feel it, begin to ask where it comes from, why does it come, and when you are satisfied let go.

Cry if you have to. Pound your fists. Do whatever you have to in order to be with the experience, just don't ignore it or pretend it should leave as soon as possible. It will probably take a few weeks before the hurt has died down, and maybe a month or more before you totally forget it. The sooner you move towards the experience the sooner it will resolve itself. If you keep pushing it away it will keep coming back and forcing you to confront it.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by MyJourneyHasBegan

Hi all,

With everything going on in the world, i know this might seem insignificant but how do i start by forgiving someone.

I have recently discovered that some of my personal belongings have been taken from my home. I realize that it is material things and so many people have lost more in the recent disasters that has happened but i still feel so angry.
Angry that someone came into my home, my safe space and went through my personal belongings. Things that have been taken have sentimental value. I've cried, i've been angry. I've wished so many bad things on the person but i dont want to feel this way.
A part of me hopes that the person really needed money and it being use for something positive but another big part is so mad.
I dont want these negative feelings, i've realized that i'm degressing in my journey and all these negative thoughts are coming back.

I guess it just want to talk to someone and let it out.

To anyone reading this thank you for listening.

Love and Blessings
M

All is well in processing and needing space to safely let go. You found one and now it is out of you. Feelings are there as guide to show you how your reactions are within such matters. Feelings are temporary transitory shifts, so when your done processing, safely, you will can find your peace or take action as you need more clear. Rather than actions in your reactivity, actions are better served when you clear and not holding on..

I see separate parts to this: forgiving and letting go. One can do either and sometimes both which is the least easy as the thing to be forgiven and forgotten is written into the memory. With something trivial it might be easy.

As I see it, forgiving is only worth it in the presence of clear signs of penitence. If the forgivee isn't contrite, the forgiver is effectively saying "I don't mind you (doing whatever)" which allows the act/behaviour to be repeated.

Letting go is about trivialising whatever it was in one's mind so that it no longer matters.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I see separate parts to this: forgiving and letting go. One can do either and sometimes both which is the least easy as the thing to be forgiven and forgotten is written into the memory. With something trivial it might be easy.

As I see it, forgiving is only worth it in the presence of clear signs of penitence. If the forgivee isn't contrite, the forgiver is effectively saying "I don't mind you (doing whatever)" which allows the act/behaviour to be repeated.

Letting go is about trivialising whatever it was in one's mind so that it no longer matters.

For me forgiving and letting are inextricably linked; if you say 'I forgive you' but you're still harbouring resentment, anger, bitterness, etc., that to me isn't true forgiveness - it's self-deception. For me, forgiveness doesn't mean that you're denying or justifying the behaviour of another, it means making peace with the hurt they triggered in you without judging them for having done so (in this context, if judgment is still present then so is pain). And it's something you do for yourself, first and foremost, it's not like you're doing the antagonist a favour and/or giving them carte blanche to do the same thing again. It isn't dependent on whether or not the perceived culprit is contrite, and it doesn't even necessarily mean saying, 'I forgive you' - if they're unrepentant they're not going to care either way, because as far as they're concerned they haven't done anything wrong and so there's nothing to forgive.

Originally Posted by A human Being

For me forgiving and letting are inextricably linked; if you say 'I forgive you' but you're still harbouring resentment, anger, bitterness, etc., that to me isn't true forgiveness - it's self-deception. For me, forgiveness doesn't mean that you're denying or justifying the behaviour of another, it means making peace with the hurt they triggered in you without judging them for having done so (in this context, if judgment is still present then so is pain). And it's something you do for yourself, first and foremost, it's not like you're doing the antagonist a favour and/or giving them carte blanche to do the same thing again. It isn't dependent on whether or not the perceived culprit is contrite, and it doesn't even necessarily mean saying, 'I forgive you' - if they're unrepentant they're not going to care either way, because as far as they're concerned they haven't done anything wrong and so there's nothing to forgive.

Looks like it's just a difference in the way we live. It's rarely an issue as I'm not often put on a spot where forgiving is needed. If something affects me badly I might think of retribution - it does rebalance after all.
If it doesn't affect me too much then it won't matter for long. I get this retribution thing from early adolescence when I had good reason to despise my parents over a few isolated incidents and was glad of a chance of some equalisation. Long in the past now.

[Miss Hepburn]

Wellll....forgiveness is m'thang....

There is a place where one understands that all that happens to us is self created...rape, theft, gossip,
dented car in the parking lot... does not matter what it is.
There is no forgiveness involved when ya get that!
Seek that understanding and forgiving is passe. (Old news, non consequential)...

[bloke]

That's a pretty insensitive post you've made there, Miss H.

Imo.