Your Funeral

Originally Posted by Left Behind

We always need to consider the wishes of those we leave behind. What we might want might be uncomfortable for them. Our funerals are an earthly commemoration of our own rite of passage, but they are also a part of the grieving process for our loved ones.

I remember when I was a kid, I told my mother that when I died, I wanted to be put in the ground naked, and a tree planted over me.

She thought seriously about what I'd said. Then said to me, "please don't ever tell story this to anyone else!"

Jim

"We always need to consider the wishes of those we leave behind. What we might want might be uncomfortable for them. Our funerals are an earthly commemoration of our own rite of passage, but they are also a part of the grieving process for our loved ones."

In the final reckoning it's probably true that for some of us the disposal of our physical remains is largely unimportant. It's also true, though, that it might be important for grieving relatives and friends.

It's hard to know, however, if a traditional funeral is really an overall help to mourners or whether a firm and principled desire for one's disposal might encourage others to take a step towards the understanding that many on this forum are privileged to have.

I'm hoping my eventual disposal might drop into the latter category.

[Holly]

I'd like to feed a tree :) Just wrap me in something biodegradable, put me in the ground, fill me in, and plant an oak over me. No coffins (waste of a beautiful, living thing when I'm going to rot anyway, what's the point?) and no religious stuff, because I never followed any faith and if they do, I've warned them I will bang the loo seats ALL the way through, sprinkle the crowd with toilet water and pull the petals off the lilies.

I'm not that bothered what they do with the service. I'm going to be watching it from the back with a big smile on my face and my arms around someone special - but also because I figure my family might prefer to just do it their way, rather than feel like I'm hovering over them worrying about the details. Keep it to a minimum and make it a celebration, and that's about it.

I think it could say a lot to me about my life just gone, so it'll be interesting to listen to what's said :)

My family often joke about the 'family coffin' - the idea that we buy one for the first person to go, and when the funeral is over, we tip them out the end into a hole and reuse the coffin for the next person!

My family and I have actually made plans for each and everyone of us. We are a family who celebrates to the fullest. My dad, a musician, wants a concert with backstage passes to an afterparty ( rememberance). My mom wants to be cremated and blended with her beloved " Taffy' s" ashes (cat) and have a fund raiser for Humane Society.

As for myself, an avid gardener and nature lover, Ive purchased a small plot of land. I have an afternoon picnic planned. Each person will scatter my ashes into the soil and plant a butterfly garden. This space would be dedicated as a wildlife habitat.


This was an interesting thread, it just goes to show how many of us think alike. At times I thought my family was absurd and morbid to put so much thought into this topic. I suppose we are just the norm....well, maybe not ; ) LOL...

~Bright Blessings Everyone

Originally Posted by Blooms Bright

My family and I have actually made plans for each and everyone of us. We are a family who celebrates to the fullest. My dad, a musician, wants a concert with backstage passes to an afterparty ( rememberance). My mom wants to be cremated and blended with her beloved " Taffy' s" ashes (cat) and have a fund raiser for Humane Society.

As for myself, an avid gardener and nature lover, Ive purchased a small plot of land. I have an afternoon picnic planned. Each person will scatter my ashes into the soil and plant a butterfly garden. This space would be dedicated as a wildlife habitat.


This was an interesting thread, it just goes to show how many of us think alike. At times I thought my family was absurd and morbid to put so much thought into this topic. I suppose we are just the norm....well, maybe not ; ) LOL...

~Bright Blessings Everyone

You're fortunate that you know what your family members wishes are! My parents are so freaked out by their mortality that they won't discuss what they want done. My mom says that it's too upsetting to talk about and dad keeps saying that he's gonna live until he's well over 100 years old. (Funny thing is, they both have come very close to dying...dad had a major head bleed--came within minutes of dying; mom contracted a staph infection from a heart cath procedure and it made it all the way to her heart.) Told my mom once that if they didn't at least give someone an idea of what they want done, I would have both of them cremated, put their ashes in the seed spreader and scatter them in the woods on their property!

Burn my butt and toss me in the ocean or sprinkle me in a field. I know I won't care cuz I be daid.

[Left Behind]

Originally Posted by Holly

My family often joke about the 'family coffin' - the idea that we buy one for the first person to go, and when the funeral is over, we tip them out the end into a hole and reuse the coffin for the next person!

We actually do something like that here in New Orleans. The body, in a wooden coffin, goes into a tomb or crypt, where it decomposes. The remains are eventually placed in a bag, or swept to the back of the tomb. to make way for the next person.

I had a hilarious experience today! I went out to visit my wife's tomb, and to go to a ceremony held to honor the deceased. I met a couple riding the streetcar who wanted to visit the cemetery. On the way over, I was explaining some aspects of local funeral practices to them: only to turn around and find five other tourists standing there listening to me!

Jim

[Left Behind]

Originally Posted by Celtic Goddess

You're fortunate that you know what your family members wishes are! My parents are so freaked out by their mortality that they won't discuss what they want done. My mom says that it's too upsetting to talk about and dad keeps saying that he's gonna live until he's well over 100 years old. (Funny thing is, they both have come very close to dying...dad had a major head bleed--came within minutes of dying; mom contracted a staph infection from a heart cath procedure and it made it all the way to her heart.) Told my mom once that if they didn't at least give someone an idea of what they want done, I would have both of them cremated, put their ashes in the seed spreader and scatter them in the woods on their property!

My parents were the same way. I - who she knew was going to be responsible - couldn't even drag out of my mother what color dress she wanted to be buried in.

Jim

I want to be cremated, have bought a little plot in my favorite cemetery were
some of my friends are already waiting for me. I don't want a funeral-service, my family and friends can remember me over coffee and cake in whatever way they wish

peace

Me.. I couldn't care less. I'll be long gone. It's like someone saying "What shall I do with these old clothes?"

Just sling 'em.

G

Ive got a donor card, so after Ive (hopefully) helped to save some peoples lifes I'd like to be buried for my family :) I think its nice for their to be a place for them and future generations to visit.

I remember visiting my great grans grave (who died before my mom and dad even got together) and feeling a connected and sadness by standing there.