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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 17-09-2012, 04:18 AM
VanillaRayne VanillaRayne is offline
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Any ideas how to cope?

So today I was just very emotional and honestly sick of the whole thing. Whether it's all in my head or not, I don't really care anymore. I had asked him a few days ago if we could talk about something important. He said we would be able to today, and of course, he made up some lame excuse about having to clean all day. I got fed up, like he really can't take 5 minutes out of his day to talk to me about something important?? Shows how much he cares. So I sent him this message, "The way I feel for you isn't going away and since I respect your decision about not being ready, I think it's best if we don't talk anymore at all so I can move on. I hope you understand." And of course he didn't respond. So how do I cope? How do I move on?
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  #2  
Old 17-09-2012, 04:55 AM
Loving_Soul
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So you said something you didn't actually mean? Not to be harsh hun but 'playing the game' of chase me if you dare will just not work in a soul connection of any depth - you are getting what you asked for so why should you not be able to cope? I know you are hurting so I don't want to sound unsympathetic but unless you are prepared to speak from the truth within your heart you are going to create more ego reaction from the both of you...my opinion anyway take from it as you will x
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  #3  
Old 17-09-2012, 05:02 AM
L88 L88 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 126
 
You just learn to accept things as they are, over time. It takes a lot of time. a lot of time. And even with that, it'll never really go away. You'll always think about it, you'll always long for the connection in it's full capacity (physically being together, peacefully). There's no way out, atleast I don't think so.

A coping method that has helped me is just forcing myself to focus on the positives that have come out of our connection. It's not easy, but it's gotten easier. Know that you'll be okay, and that you're stronger than you can imagine right now.

I don't know that anyone actually 'moves on' from these things, it sticks, it's meant to, I think.

Can you meet a new man and fall in love? sure. Will it ever compare? no chance.

There's a lyric in the Paramore song 'the only exception' that I think applies: 'We've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face' when you're not with who you believe you belong with.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll get through it. try not to worry.
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  #4  
Old 17-09-2012, 05:29 AM
Kiwigirl11 Kiwigirl11 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tauranga ,NZ
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Meditation and healing:) ......i couldn't recommend this enough ,it has helped me so much .....I feel like i have risen above the need ,hurt ,confusion,sadness.... i am able to cope so much better ....I had soooo much **** going around in my head ,i felt like i was going crazy ,meditating has help clear all that **** out and i feel like me again ....I'm happy again:) ...Yes he is still on my mind 24/7 ...yes i still feel like there is a connection there ,but i am in a place where i can accept what it is and i know it will work out in time ......I say forget about him for a while ,you have told him how you feel ,if he's not ready then give him space to sort his head out and concentrate on healing yourself for a while ....Good luck :)
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  #5  
Old 17-09-2012, 07:14 AM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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If you want to move on from someone that won't talk it out with you...big frustration..
I always look at all the negative about being with him...not the positive.
It helps me see how wrong he was for me.
My God if he can't even talk and have some resolution or closure...
There's no use....be glad you"re rid of him.
My 2 cents.
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Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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  #6  
Old 17-09-2012, 10:11 AM
H:O:R:A:C:E H:O:R:A:C:E is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaRayne
So I sent him this message, "The way I feel for you isn't going away and since I respect your decision about not being ready, I think it's best if we don't talk anymore at all so I can move on. I hope you understand." And of course he didn't respond. So how do I cope? How do I move on?

What you'll wanna do is make the break as clean as possible. (Assuming you've meant to move on, seriously.) Change the things you've been doing; find something else to put your interest and energy into -- take up a hobby, or explore an interest you've "always meant to" investigate. You can allow yourself to 'manage' some of the unresolved baggage that you're likely carrying. What you want is NOT to 'relive' the moments, but to 'process' and release those emotion-charged memories. Maybe as much as half-an-hour a day (for a while) of dealing with these unresolved feelings. MEDITATION; where you tap into the anxieties you've accummulated (without labeling them), just 'access' the frustrations and move them out of you, release them. You can do this. Be well.
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  #7  
Old 17-09-2012, 12:32 PM
VanillaRayne VanillaRayne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loving_Soul
So you said something you didn't actually mean? Not to be harsh hun but 'playing the game' of chase me if you dare will just not work in a soul connection of any depth - you are getting what you asked for so why should you not be able to cope? I know you are hurting so I don't want to sound unsympathetic but unless you are prepared to speak from the truth within your heart you are going to create more ego reaction from the both of you...my opinion anyway take from it as you will x
I DO mean it. But I don't WANT to mean it. I know it's the best for me. TF or not, I feel like I deserve more than what he's giving me right now. If this is the wake up he needs to figure out what he wants, then fine. If not, then at least I tried and at least I have some closure within myself. What I was doing clearly wasn't working, and him keeping me around for a once in a while relationship seems selfish to me.
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  #8  
Old 17-09-2012, 01:54 PM
Loving_Soul
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Your comment 'and of course he didn't respond' tells me you didn't mean it as you had an expectation of receiving a reply - you did not mean I literally want no further comment yet that is what you stated in your txt ...I could Sympathize with you as many will and that will nuture your ego a little and make you feel better, I can because I damn well have been there - and sometimes being called out on my own behavior was the wake up call I needed.... until you stop the game - stand there and breathe - let go of your ego and Calmly continue on for yourself and allow him to come in his own time you will damage the relationship further - you cannot control him or his reaction and your fear of loosing him is creating that need to control. IF you truly have had it and want to turn away then do it - without drama or ceremony, pick yourself up and go....
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  #9  
Old 17-09-2012, 02:20 PM
VanillaRayne VanillaRayne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loving_Soul
Your comment 'and of course he didn't respond' tells me you didn't mean it as you had an expectation of receiving a reply - you did not mean I literally want no further comment yet that is what you stated in your txt ...I could Sympathize with you as many will and that will nuture your ego a little and make you feel better, I can because I damn well have been there - and sometimes being called out on my own behavior was the wake up call I needed.... until you stop the game - stand there and breathe - let go of your ego and Calmly continue on for yourself and allow him to come in his own time you will damage the relationship further - you cannot control him or his reaction and your fear of loosing him is creating that need to control. IF you truly have had it and want to turn away then do it - without drama or ceremony, pick yourself up and go....
I guess by that comment I simply meant that I had hoped he would reply with "I understand and respect your decision," or something like that. But the silence is confusing. I find it annoying that almost every time we have a serious relationship discussion he disappears. I am done for now. What we have simply isn't working out for me. I still will allow him to come back into my life, but only if he is ready at that time. Maybe I should've said that instead, because that's closer to what I actually meant, but what was said has been said.
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  #10  
Old 17-09-2012, 02:25 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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I hate that ego was mentioned...a hurt heart, a lost love is just that.

I will say from experience that taking the high road and never asking
For anything the other can't muster,more than once I mean, is best.
We just can never make anyone love us...but we can look and act
Hot whenever they are around!!
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*I'll text in Navy Blue when I'm speaking as a Mod. :)


Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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