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Originally Posted by ashleyk
People in general are overbusy - too busy. They aren't spending enough time in isolation where they have time to reflect, time to get to understand themselves. With reflection and understanding comes the ability and skill to connect. We need to be able to connect with ourselves before we can connect with others. I find others often misread my ability to connect. Men think I'm coming on to them when in fact I'm relating to them as a fellow human being. Men and woman can be wonderful friends. Share matters of the heart. And women are more receptive but now with same-sex rlx being so common there's a bit more skepticism than years prior which is too bad and sad to me. On the other hand, overall I have been rewarded by my ability to connect and have found a core group of friends that are also able to connect. And it has lead to very rich and fulfilling work life and personal network that I'm thankful for. I feel it's important to keep at it and keep taking the risk. I have zero control over other people's reactions and have found it to be a wonderful screening tool.
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Certainly solitude comes at a price if you live and work among others. As I live alone most of the time I can regulate when I get it but it's never without small problems, like when my b/f or others are there, or there's a deadline to meet, the atmosphere for aloneness isn't quite right. I like to work in solitude and more or less demand it for that. But there's still shopping to be done, clients to meet etc.
Unfortunately about 80% of the people around us are sheep, the products of their upbringing, culture, religions - conditioning really, so they rarely get in touch with any real self. Aquisitiveness born of consumerism is one reason why they're so busy. They also have to generate a sense of importance from this. Another difficulty is that globalism has brought many cultures face-to-face promoted by multiculturalism but with no encouragement to mix or allow others their culture. Fair enough, the customs of some cultures (specially those based on religion) are often incompatible.
I've found it's best to let people be as they are (or think they are). Some will one day wake up. Others will live their entire lives happily as puppets. I'm all the same dismayed when some such people expect me to be "conventional". My town is cosmopolitan so if you're an -ist, a racist, a religiousist, a whateverist or a -phobe you'll probably stay lonely or join a clique. I have no known -isms (could be I'm deluding myself, I know) but I seem to have developed an ability to "connect" while rarely connecting. Allowing them their individuality can be isolating but they perceive my interest and concerns for them. My contemplations confirmed me basically a loner but with an overall love of people because they're what living is about. We'd all be loners/anachists but for those social conventions (which I think I understand and can slot into or withdraw as the need arises. The learning of Self to me entails learning the basics of context in which the Self has to operate).
Unfortunately, multiculturalism has done a lot to mess society up. I walk down Croydon High Street (south of south London) and hear so many languages spoken. How can it cohere if people can only communicate (using the main tools of language) in very small circles? - Particularly if their cultures tend to abraid? It can't.
Hence the disconnect. You need common referents for connection. Spiritually-inspired people on the one hand further distance themselves because they have unreasonable expectations of the sheep. They often act the proselyte on deaf ears. On the other hand they can be more advanced, recognise their environment and work within it, let others be the proselyte on their own not-so-deaf but accommodating ears.
As I see it.
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