Question

[DARKEST_HOUR]

Originally Posted by Inika

so sad...

im angry at you and feel pity at same time.

angry at how she was the best for you but were you to her? you left for many reasons....thats not whats best for her. Did you consult with her about the reasons and try work it out or decide to leave?

it makes me wonder how many take a companion for granted labled a soul mate connection s if because of the label and story attached....of course they will always be there for your disposal.

but in truth.....despite what you, me or anyone thinks.....it doesnt go our way. it goes the way its meant to go due to choices and chances that pave the way of life. You cant take back a moment...its gone, its done....choices right?

i hope you learn.
if.....big if you ever be blessed with another potential life mate.....dont take chances. take her hand and never let go.

she is lucky to have found her life partner so soon after you but her story is probably much different.....you would be the one the many come here and say....he was the catalyst to my true love....if he never broke my heart, id never have met (insert name)

and destiny......you choose karmic or destiny.......you obviously have karma to go through before you learn your destiny.

good luck.

Well it wasn’t like it was a short relationship, we lasted 3 years together. It was the last year where things became unbalanced. Many reasons were; I moved for work, we became distant, we started arguing a lot, and I just left before we both hated ourselves. Was it the right thing to do? No. But I felt I had nothing to offer her and sometimes love isn’t enough. If she found her true life partner, good for her. I hope it’s not a rebound cause I want her to be happy. I am aware of what the lessons are here, but honestly I felt like I needed more growth, more life experiences, deep inside it was a feeling of not being ready. She was about decade older than me so I understand her need of not waiting. I am aware of the lessons here. And yes when the next soul connection comes into my life I’ll be ready. I refuse to settle. And I don’t believe in karma, everything happens the way it’s supposed to. No need for your pity.

[Inika]

you......offer you.....why are you and love not enough?

did it intimidate you and you got scared?

what in your eyes would have made you be enough?

material items to supply her? cash? car? house? holidays?

or maturity?

im lost at to what it is that has someone leave the one they love. fights, arguments, distance....these are stuff you could have worked on together. worked it out....if it mattered to you ....you wouldnt quit.

but maybe. she was not your one. and you knew it. you had spent enough time to know she was not it. I mean...after three years and no longer being willing to tough it out and keep fighting for it....ran its course.

i wont settle either. i get that.

[LibraIndigo]

Originally Posted by Naaria

I can only share my side but simply put, my love for my twin is different from the love I have for my husband. Even if he were still alive, I wouldn't marry my twin. That's just not the kind of relationship we had. I mean, I guess I thought so at one point because we tried dating and "naturally" you eventually marry the person you're with--or that's the goal anyway? But knowing what I know now, marriage never would have worked for us. Actually, I can remember feeling a very, very strong pull to back out of us trying to just move in together even though we had already paid the deposit on a place (lame move, I know, but necessary in hindsight).

My need on a physical level is different from what I need on a spiritual level. My husband provides me with security, stability, and demonstrates near-endless amounts of patience with me. His care for me tends to my root and sacral chakras, which in turn helps me to nurture and strengthen my solar plexus, heart, and throat chakras. I have several mental illnesses and my husband--the big, sweet, softy that he is--is a huge reason I can and have been able to heal, and thus able to learn to manage my illnesses. We play games, watch movies, take care of our animals, manage finances, talk about this, crack jokes about that... he taught me how to drive (never needed my license in a big city), holds me when I have night terrors, and gently introduces me to people, places, and things that are out of my comfort zone. My husband satisfies my "earthly needs", all of which help me maintain my sanity while I go through life with him. He is my rock, my anchor here on Earth.

I love my twin to the core, and know with 100% certainty 0% in a negative way that he wouldn't be able to provide me with that, while also still thriving within himself and his life's purpose. I'm not proud of this but I admit it freely: it used to be (and can still be) a full time commitment taking care of me. I know that the personality my twin chose was one of a wanderer. He moved around a lot, and never felt satisfied in one place for long. Hunkering down and taking care of me the way my husband does was never in the stars for us. I would hate it for him, too.

My twin ignited my third eye and crown chakras. We learned to explore our minds together. We did yoga together, and meditated together. We stargazed, analyzed and shared our synchronicities, played around with the various psychic powers (clairvoyance, etc), checked our horoscopes, bought tarot cards together and gave each other readings. We philosophized (yes that's a word! ) about distant planets, otherworldly life, past lives, alternate realities, the different dimensions... things I know my husband isn't interested in and don't knock him for at all.

My twin is my equal and my opposite. A marriage never would have worked with us because we want the same thing, but are the exact opposites of what we need, because we're so similar... you know?

Anyway, so yeah! I love both my husband and my twin in entirely different ways, and I have more than enough room in my heart and soul for both of these wonderful people. I don't think it's unfair to have different needs be met by different people, like one friend being the one whose shoulder you cry on, or another being the one you go clothes shopping with... the feelings toward one doesn't diminish the feelings toward another.

Also just want to add that while I haven't used any of the more "spiritual terms", my husband knows about my friend and knows how I feel about him; that I miss the friend I once had and can never have again. My husband held me and loved on me when my twin's suicide finally hit me and I couldn't stop crying, as I held and will hold him when he needs it on the rare occasion my husband misses his late father so much that he needs to cry. No one's taking anyone else's place--we all have different roles to play in the lives of the people around us, like they do in ours.

Sorry for the wall of text

Beautifully written!