Could someone please help me find my way?

Hello everyone, My name is Quintin, and I am new to the forum. I stumbled upon this place just searching for general answers. If this is the wrong section to post this, then I apologize. If anyone could please direct in the right path, or right section of this forum that would be awesome.

As far as I can remember growing up, I've had to struggle with having the burden of being multi-racial. I, having mixed parents, was quite the hassle having to explain to my classmates what I was(What are you? What's your nationality, Are you white, black, puerto-rican? Etc, etc). I had to endure some of the cruelest kids you could imagine in elementary and middle school. So that made fitting in, and having friends very difficult. You couldn't fit in. I learned to deal with it, answer those who were honestly curious, and defend myself against the ignorant. My older sister on the other hand, got the lucky end of the stick, and was able to handle it a lot better than I.

Sometime during my early teen years (I'm 30 now) I over went some kind of change to mind. Psychologically I guess you could say. I got into some major trouble at my highschool, and I hit total depression. I was on the verge of suicide. Being raised by a religious family, and going to them for help was no use. "You do that, and you'll go straight to Hell!" is what my mother would tell me. That was a major blow emotionally. That's not to say I was raised abusively. She took care of us the best that she could. She feed us well, clothed us, and provided us with warm beds to sleep. Any talks of depression, and so forth was looked at in disgust, and you were told to pray to Jesus, read your bible, etc... Even with being raised into a religious family, and to this very day I've always felt this uncomfortable feeling about being in church, and listening to a sweaty man yell at a crowd of people. You're not making any sense to me by telling me to have faith in believing this contradicting book. I just couldn't do it.

I turned agnostic for the longest time after age 14, but I kept it in secrecy for fear of backlash. From that time I got into trouble with my school, I felt something different overcome my mind. It was as if something were telling me that you have awoken. What did that mean? What did I awake from? It was if almost like something were trying to tell me that you are different than the others. Well that I can seriously believe. Most guys my age are into sports games, rap music, drinking, hanging out at parties/clubs, and that sort of stuff. I am the complete opposite. I love to draw, gaze at the stars in the night time sky, and listen to EDM(that's electronic dance music), and just totally space out to other-worldly locations. It's as if I am not meant for this world. I wish I could explain the visions I see on a daily basis, but it's literally impossible to write it out here.

If anyone has taken the time to read this, and would like to take a shot at this, I would be very welcome. Thanks.

[Nameless]

Welcome, Quintin, you will fit right in here and feel at home. A lot of us ex-religionists on here, as well. As far as the drawing and gazing at the stars, and spacing out, as long as it is on good clean air, that's where it's at! I have two children who are a bit younger than you, but have had pretty much the same path with school, as far as not fitting in. I have come to the conclusion that none of us ever fit in, we just all didn't know it, and that everyone struggled in that artificial world, and just all did the best we could to get through it.

Here are some book recommendation for you... and I can't help myself, I love getting people to read. I will warn you, though, the authors are all non-physical entities channeled by physical people (kind of like Edgar Caycee's Ford). If that doesn't turn you off, and that's totally okay if it does, you might give reading them a whirl. You can go on Amazon and click on the book and do the Quick Look feature and usually read the first few chapters for free, to see if it is something that interests you. So, here are some to get you started:

Ask and It Is Given - by Esther & Jerry Hicks
Seth Speaks - by Jane Roberts
Soul Love - by Sanaya Roman

So, along those same lines, You Tube is a wonderful place as well. You can type in Abraham Hicks and pretty much any subject and listen to Esther channel Abraham. Esther also has her own you Tube channel, and you can watch her channelings on her channel.

Some of my favorite meditations are by Orin, who is channeled by Sanaya Roman. Orin is the being who wrote Soul Love, and that book changed my life. If you go to orindaben.com and go to Orin's Meditation Room, there are a lot of 3 - 5 minute downloads that are free to download. Good stuff!

So, welcome again. I can't help but pass on some of my favorite things....

Nameless gave you good advice Quintin, you could also look through some threads on this forum to see if any of it resonates with you. Having to go through what you did has made you stronger, keep searching and you will find.

Thanks, Nameless and Primrose. Before finding this forum, Here's a bit from a website. Since the forum rules say I cannot post URLs to other sites until 15 posts have been made, this will have to do temporarily.

tpots38 (dot) hubpages (dot) com/hub/starpeople

Many of you people are not actually humans. You may have human bodies and human blood, but you are not humans. You are extra terrestrial beings.

How do you know that you are an extra terrestrial being? Here are 6 easy steps to find out:


1) You always had a feeling that you don't belong here on this planet.

2) You've always felt being very different from humans.

3) You have a strong longing to "go home", although you don't know where home is (but its' not on this planet).

4) You often tend to watch humans and think "Why are they making things so complicated? It's really not that complicated."

5) You have a strong sense of purpose - that you are on this planet for a reason.

6) You may posses supernatural abilities: telepathy, clairvoyance, clairsentience, super empathy, etc.

I have a strong feeling that all of them apply to me except number 3. I don't have an urge to go home as they put it. I just feel as if this planet, and the issues that trouble it sadden me. I have a strong desire to be with nature. Trees, mountains, lakes, wildlife and the like. As a matter of fact, growing up multi-racial has indeed made me a stronger person. It's helped me to become so very open-minded.That I shouldn't take what I am as some kind of curse.

That's interesting, and very possible.

Of course you should'nt take what you are as some kind of curse. Those who judge others by the colour of their skin are ignorant. It's good to be open minded, keep searching and you will find your way.

[Nameless]

I agree with Primrose. Very good to keep in mind. It really never matters what others think of us, it only matters what we think of ourselves. Because they are not inside you, they don't know you, they don't know why you think the way you do, and they don't get a vote. When you narrow your focus down to, what do I think about that? then life gets a heck of a lot easier.....

Oh, and about #6. There is a section here on Telepathy, and you might try the lightworkers section for empathy, and the medium section for the clairs :)

[CSEe]

Perhaps that's your suffering ! trying to ' find" your way ..........human culture had makes us attached to knowledge and knowing seems to be the "key" for everything .

Perhaps you trying to "know" something that was never there , perhaps you are searching for your own shadow ...............

"Your way" of what ? Truth? Perhaps there is no truth or false , right or wrong , good or bad ...so if you trying to find something you feel comfortable , or right or true ...perhaps that is actually your suffering .

So to me there is no my way or your way as in awaken to own emotion we will realize that nothing is owned by us , nor any human , any thing or even life ..is never owned by us so is not trying to find your way but is to realize your path , your existence , cause of your existence .............

[guthrio]

Originally Posted by _Lost

Hello everyone, My name is Quintin, and I am new to the forum. I stumbled upon this place just searching for general answers. If this is the wrong section to post this, then I apologize. If anyone could please direct in the right path, or right section of this forum that would be awesome.

As far as I can remember growing up, I've had to struggle with having the burden of being multi-racial. I, having mixed parents, was quite the hassle having to explain to my classmates what I was(What are you? What's your nationality, Are you white, black, puerto-rican? Etc, etc). I had to endure some of the cruelest kids you could imagine in elementary and middle school. So that made fitting in, and having friends very difficult. You couldn't fit in. I learned to deal with it, answer those who were honestly curious, and defend myself against the ignorant. My older sister on the other hand, got the lucky end of the stick, and was able to handle it a lot better than I.

Sometime during my early teen years (I'm 30 now) I over went some kind of change to mind. Psychologically I guess you could say. I got into some major trouble at my highschool, and I hit total depression. I was on the verge of suicide. Being raised by a religious family, and going to them for help was no use. "You do that, and you'll go straight to Hell!" is what my mother would tell me. That was a major blow emotionally. That's not to say I was raised abusively. She took care of us the best that she could. She feed us well, clothed us, and provided us with warm beds to sleep. Any talks of depression, and so forth was looked at in disgust, and you were told to pray to Jesus, read your bible, etc... Even with being raised into a religious family, and to this very day I've always felt this uncomfortable feeling about being in church, and listening to a sweaty man yell at a crowd of people. You're not making any sense to me by telling me to have faith in believing this contradicting book. I just couldn't do it.

I turned agnostic for the longest time after age 14, but I kept it in secrecy for fear of backlash. From that time I got into trouble with my school, I felt something different overcome my mind. It was as if something were telling me that you have awoken. What did that mean? What did I awake from? It was if almost like something were trying to tell me that you are different than the others. Well that I can seriously believe. Most guys my age are into sports games, rap music, drinking, hanging out at parties/clubs, and that sort of stuff. I am the complete opposite. I love to draw, gaze at the stars in the night time sky, and listen to EDM(that's electronic dance music), and just totally space out to other-worldly locations. It's as if I am not meant for this world. I wish I could explain the visions I see on a daily basis, but it's literally impossible to write it out here.

If anyone has taken the time to read this, and would like to take a shot at this, I would be very welcome. Thanks.

Quintin,

....I hope this helps, bearing with the length of my answer to the very important questions you raise....

The "way" you seek is right where you are....

Who we truly are is INFINITELY beyond ANY conception of race, ethnicity, or complexion....and yet is even "...closer to Thee than hands and feet; nearer to Thee than breath." Or skin.

The true answer to your questions, whether in this or in ANY society, is exactly the same. Ever since mankind's advent on the Earth, virtually the ENTIRETY of our concepts and ideas concerning existence, governmental enterprise, art, war, medicine, science, economics, philosophy, metaphilosophy, religion and RACE has suffered under a SINGLE flaw in our conception. What is this singular flaw ? It is the ubiquitous, erroneous belief that man is merely is a physical being, whose primary purpose on this Earth is to avoid, mitigate, delay, prevent or cause what He thinks of as the death of the body !

THIS is what we’ve taught ourselves. THIS is what we’ve taught our children, because....

WE HAVE FORGOTTEN WHO WE, AND EACH OTHER, ARE !!

It is because of this very flaw in our conception of ourselves that Mankind usually comes to the knowledge that He can only be the perfect Creation He was created to be AFTER having amassed an advanced maturity of years of pain and suffering in ignoble ignorance of the greatness of His true estate, ENSLAVED BY HIS OWN HAND AND MIND to false ideas about the immutable Truth of Himself. It is NOT supposed to be this way...

Whether as adults, scientists, theologians, philosophers, laypersons, or children, we may look at the world WITH our eyes, but we actually “see” it, and ourselves, THROUGH our ideas (eye-deas !) Culture is the habitual behavior of ideas as practiced by individuals, who form larger groups, whose actions are writ large as those groups identify themselves as a civilization. As the individual’s ideas about him/her self change, so does the culture in which the individual resides, which in turn affects the groups that form the civilization. How do these ideas become part of a culture? We, as transmitters and receivers of meaning in our various languages, are taught, from childhood on, to AGREE upon the assignment of meaning. THAT'S how culture is learned, including our ideas ABOUT each other pertaining to selfhood, race, and existance....for good AND ill.

Idea by idea. Individual by individual.

As author Baird Spalding says in the 1st reference, ”Becoming aware of yourself as a spiritual being, offspring of an infinite spiritual system and one with all the powers and capacities within that system, is the very essence of attainment. To grow from the present state of awareness of himself as a material being and into the consciousness that he is a spiritual being contains the full secret of man's attainment.'

Our Creator did NOT create human beings as Romans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Catholics, Protestants; Hindu, “untouchable” dalits, atheists, apologetic, apathetic, orthodox, secular; light skinned, dark skinned; believers, infidels, saved, unsaved or any other designations or philosophies that we associate with these OR ANY OTHER names. We are NOT the names we call ourselves, though we mistakenly act as if we were. Such designations, erroneously believed and acted upon as if relevant, only serve to hide the truth that our Creator created each one of us OF HIS VERY SPIRIT AND AS HIS IMAGE. Though WE may have forgotten Who we, and each other are, we are yet Sons and Daughters of the Most High. Again, we are Who the Creator is in Spirit....not subservient adherents to whatever religion or philosophy, belief, or race we profess to include ourselves.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself"....because thy neighbor IS Thyself.

Know Thyself.....as endowed with the most precious and virtuous of gifts from the One Who loves us so much that He has freely given us the infinite power of His Own Spirit to love Him, and each other, in return...as ourselves, for ourselves, by OUR choice....

....or NOT.

"I and the Father are One"....is just as true of you as it is of all your Brothers and Sisters....HOWEVER they appear, WHEREVER their birthplace is on the Earth, or WHATEVER they call themselves or you.

"I, the individual self" is really the Whole I AM expressing Itself as "a part of the Whole"....you.

Do you see ?

"...your mind is the mirror in which the Infinite Power and Intelligence of the Universe sees itself reproduced... "

Your mind, repeat YOUR mind, is the Creator's mind....seeing Itself through YOUR eyes.

How can this be ??

The Creator is Who we, and each other, are.

The Creator is ALL THERE IS to BE any one or any thing.

Now you understand what Know Thyself means....

I AM THAT I AM AND BESIDE ME THERE IS NO OTHER....

.....means exactly that.


Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East Volumes 1 - 6 by Baird T. Spalding

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174590

http://www.thechristmind.org/iamthat.htm

http://files.meetup.com/1434103/YourInvisiblePower.pdf