The irreparable argument

[ForeverRestless]

Things are over with me and my Twin, and I see it as a positive (an opportunity to focus on my own personal growth and spiritual work without be distracted by wondering what he thinks of me and if he'd come back to me if he knew I loved him, etc.). But "telling him off" was a big step for me. I decided I was moving on a year and a half ago, but was still held back by unfinished business for so long. It was only recently (about a month ago) that I realized I no longer feared my Twin's rejection, which is what made it possible to finally tell him the things I first thought a year and a half ago. I needed to make the end final so that I could fully focus on my relationship and myself, not having my stupid heart stuck back in a country across the ocean. It was severe, but it needed to be done. And I still feel it was the right thing to do even if I consider that he may hate me right now, or that I placed too much blame on him, or that I'm wrestling with anxiety about how I might look bad or pathetic, whatever.

I have not looked to see if he received the letter, I have not looked at any of his social media or anything, but I was shocked to see yesterday, when looking through my friends list on Facebook in the wake of the Cambridge Analytica breach, that he is still right there on the friends list. Wait... he didn't unfriend me or block me? Maybe he didn't even read the letter? No matter...

Basically, I know I have to be brave and strong right now. I know that I made a decision, for the sake of my actual relationship, I stood in my own truth and I owned my experience without feeling ashamed of it, and I basically told Twin off in a way, which is what I'd have done a long time ago if I didn't love him so much. Kind of like what any self-respecting person would do to someone who mistreated them. I was wallowing in pain for so long, waiting for him to come back, saving myself for him, and that was so futile. I'm so proud of myself for moving on to a new relationship with a new man and I already feel the relationship getting stronger now that my attention is not divided. I do think this is a good thing in the long-term but in the short-term, I'm feeling a lot of stress.

What I came here to ask about today is your experience. I suspect the connection I feel to him (feeling his emotions sometimes, meeting him in dreams, having chakra activations around my thoughts of him, etc.) may continue for the rest of my life. I don't know what I want... I certainly don't want Twin disrupting my relationship with the man I will probably marry. I certainly don't want him occupying my thoughts all day so that I cannot focus on bettering myself in the ways I need to. I certainly don't want him to uproot his life and mine to try to revive our relationship and reunite, since I know we are both still spiritually immature and it would never work anyway. But I still remain anxious as I anticipate my future worries. Like I wonder if I'll regret being so final with my Twin when the connection continues in the future regardless. When I'm walking down the street one day and suddenly I feel a sadness I cannot pinpoint because he is going through some hard time in his life, and it makes me want to reach out to him... you know what I mean? How do I navigate that knowing that I burned the bridges between us?

Has anyone here experienced that final FINAL moment with their Runner? I mean, does the connection make it possible to salvage at least a friendship years in the future? Or do you find that it's just over OVER and you learn to manage the feelings around what was lost? Do you call it an end and find that the signs and syncs (happily) cease? I know I stood up for myself here, but I don't want to be bombarded by the signs and syncs and telepathy anymore, and I fear it will continue. And I feel that when those things come up, I will be haunted by the ways that I burned bridges and the connection cannot be reestablished to talk things out. I mean I cannot regret standing in my truth and choosing myself, but maybe the regret is different with a Twin? Did you find that nothing, no matter how cruel the words said, made them stay away forever?

I mean I'm facing a real dichotomy of emotions here. I want my Runner to stay away so that I can focus on my life here with my partner, decorating our house together, traveling abroad with his family, adopting a dog, possibly getting married, just making OUR life. But at the same time, there's a part of me that doesn't want my Runner gone forever because, well, you know it's the strongest connection a human being can feel and it's really hard to lose that, no matter how much it has hurt you.

I guess what I'm most interested in are those people who reconnected with their twins 20, 30 years down the line and figured out how to become friends again. Were all past transgressions forgiven in love? Is there a future after a final blow of the sort I've meted out?

(Also, I realize I shouldn't worry about that at all, but c'mon, we're talking about Twin Flames here).

[Elysium]

I still believe my twin and i have a salveagable friendship, maybe years from now in the distant future, although thats in her court. :) im happy being her friend, and im content living my life without her without thinking about this question.

The syncs have stopped over the past year or so, as everything has settled down.

I think you still have some unresolved emotions, wants/needs/desires with your TF. Once those are settled, however long that might take..the syncs will slow down to where you dont even notice them. And you wont fear anything for the future of what could go wrong.

Makes me think of a quote.
"Most of the things we worry about never actually happen. "

[jro5139]

I severed the friendship I had with my twin last July, and while I'd like to say that all the feeling them, sensing them, etc. goes away when you severe the 3D connection, so far it's been my experience that it has not. And yes, I still receive repeating number patterns, off and on, at different times. But I can't say they are all twin flame related. I think that experiencing numbers and signs is just how life becomes after spiritual awakening.

I do believe a friendship in the future is possible, and actually my near twin recently came back after 16 years plus of no contact. And I had completely burned the bridge, to the point I never thought he'd speak to me again. I was surprised that he came back and everything is fine between us now. We are friends again. So yes it's possible.
While I don't know if the connection with twin will ever cease, I do believe that with another strong soul connection, it would be possible to concentrate on that. But those are rare and I'm not holding out being happy to wait on anyone or anything anymore.

[ssdm1]

A few weeks ago I said what was on my mind to my twin. He was very angry (and hurt) at what I had to say, but I needed to say it. After only one day, he was ok and we are fine as friends again.

To answer your question, friendship in the future is definitely possible. I cut contact with him decades ago but as everyone knows 2 years ago he came back in my life and we remain friends today (even after a fight I thought would end things).

If he is your twin you'll never be rid of him completely. You may have times (even years) of little to no contact, but friendship in the future, when the time is right, can and does happen.

Hope that answers your questions.

[ForeverRestless]

Thanks, everyone, for your replies. You really put my mind at ease with the information I was seeking to know, so it's good.

I suspect I'll always feel this pull to him, so it's good to know he won't hate me forever. And even if I marry this man I'm with now, there's this weird part of me deep inside that hopes Twin will remain in my life in some strange shape or form. We'll see what future years bring.

If anyone else reconciled with their Twin over time, at a later time following a big blowup, I'd love to hear your story too. Thank you.

So glad to be able to share this journey with others who experience the same phenomena.

[Tortoise Walks]

Can you imagine that everything is perfect as it is now. Giving you just the right opportunities to speak and love from your heart (or mind) now?

I have set my own intention to cease making always, ever-izing and never-izing statements about projected future outcomes... My life has greatly improved through observing when i make such polarizing statements that are rarely accurate and frequently need to be repaired. Maybe just note that right now it is best for you to focus on yourself... to heal/love your own percieved wounds into neutrality and self care... maybe its possible that at some future now moment the “distance” you’ve built is no longer required to protect yourself and then you will feel free to reach out again and/or recieve. If that fits your new now moment (or his).

I discovered for myself that drawing “permanant” lines in the sand just created more opportunities to watch persistent waves smooth away all of my attempts to control and block love and the risk to my heart. My rigid mental thoughts about what should or could be... wrt love and how it entered my life. i could laugh and cry...

It seems for me that “separation” is the grand opportunity to witness what sand castles i keep building up to house the pain body of my inner wounds... waiting to be seen and massaged through each layer with compassion (from my inner self first and foremost). My connection with SC allows me to see these wounds most clearly because i am not in a “committed” relationship with him and the love remains.

Our word is as meaningful as we make it. If we set the tone with blame and accusatory you statements note that we are in our victim mode... calling out others for their percieved “wrongs” and wanting others to change/apologize for our benefit. Lots of inner child stuff is here for me... surfacing wounds that originated before my SC.

I think it is meaningful to speak up for yourself as a means of expressing your authentic feelings exactly as they are in the moment. Even if it isnt always pretty. You are maybe just getting started in speaking up for yourself. But like everything... clouds and weather and feelings ebb and flow without much care to rules of engagement we’ve set for ourselves or our loves. And we are at where we are at which may mean having an emotional blaming tantrum like a teen that then may need to unravel to move forward again.

I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

Is your current partner aware of your love for this soul connection? Is he supportuve of your journey? Or Do you have to shut yourself off and pretend that the love for your SC doesnt exist or is forever over once and for all because you’ve all made your choices and now you all must live with them (note the everizimg comment) to assure yourself or your current partner of your love for them.

Regardless of 3d interacting i always feel a presence that resurfaces again and again with SC. I get to choose how i bask and glow in this shared divine loving presence or how much i resist and hide and slam the door only to peek behind me and crack the door yet again to see if SC is still there. Alive and loving in the world.

[happyhaunts03]

My TF and I have been apart for 12 years. I still feel his presence almost daily. It ebbs and flows and sometimes I notice it more than others, but he's always here with me. There was a time about 2 or 3 years into our separation that I thought I was done, that I had finally severed ties. But, it only lasted so long.

I have come to believe he and I could be friends again. I don't know the person he is outside of telepathy anymore, but I know it would work. We cannot be lovers in this lifetime unless both of our life paths drastically change, but we could have the comfort of friendship so easily.

I will say that I don't discuss the connection with my spouse. It's not that I'm trying to keep anything from him, but he doesn't believe in spirituality, so it's impossible to explain. He also was a mutual acquaintance of both myself and my TF at one point, so it gets a little weird. What he knows, what he is willing to understand as an atheist, is that my TF and I were close at one point and that sometimes I still "miss" him. I wouldn't say it really hurts the relationship though. There are many kinds of love in the world and that which my spouse and I have for one another is deeply different from TF love, but equally memorable and important.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by ForeverRestless

Things are over with me and my Twin, and I see it as a positive (an opportunity to focus on my own personal growth and spiritual work without be distracted by wondering what he thinks of me and if he'd come back to me if he knew I loved him, etc.). But "telling him off" was a big step for me. I decided I was moving on a year and a half ago, but was still held back by unfinished business for so long. It was only recently (about a month ago) that I realized I no longer feared my Twin's rejection, which is what made it possible to finally tell him the things I first thought a year and a half ago. I needed to make the end final so that I could fully focus on my relationship and myself, not having my stupid heart stuck back in a country across the ocean. It was severe, but it needed to be done. And I still feel it was the right thing to do even if I consider that he may hate me right now, or that I placed too much blame on him, or that I'm wrestling with anxiety about how I might look bad or pathetic, whatever.

I have not looked to see if he received the letter, I have not looked at any of his social media or anything, but I was shocked to see yesterday, when looking through my friends list on Facebook in the wake of the Cambridge Analytica breach, that he is still right there on the friends list. Wait... he didn't unfriend me or block me? Maybe he didn't even read the letter? No matter...

Basically, I know I have to be brave and strong right now. I know that I made a decision, for the sake of my actual relationship, I stood in my own truth and I owned my experience without feeling ashamed of it, and I basically told Twin off in a way, which is what I'd have done a long time ago if I didn't love him so much. Kind of like what any self-respecting person would do to someone who mistreated them. I was wallowing in pain for so long, waiting for him to come back, saving myself for him, and that was so futile. I'm so proud of myself for moving on to a new relationship with a new man and I already feel the relationship getting stronger now that my attention is not divided. I do think this is a good thing in the long-term but in the short-term, I'm feeling a lot of stress.

What I came here to ask about today is your experience. I suspect the connection I feel to him (feeling his emotions sometimes, meeting him in dreams, having chakra activations around my thoughts of him, etc.) may continue for the rest of my life. I don't know what I want... I certainly don't want Twin disrupting my relationship with the man I will probably marry. I certainly don't want him occupying my thoughts all day so that I cannot focus on bettering myself in the ways I need to. I certainly don't want him to uproot his life and mine to try to revive our relationship and reunite, since I know we are both still spiritually immature and it would never work anyway. But I still remain anxious as I anticipate my future worries. Like I wonder if I'll regret being so final with my Twin when the connection continues in the future regardless. When I'm walking down the street one day and suddenly I feel a sadness I cannot pinpoint because he is going through some hard time in his life, and it makes me want to reach out to him... you know what I mean? How do I navigate that knowing that I burned the bridges between us?

Has anyone here experienced that final FINAL moment with their Runner? I mean, does the connection make it possible to salvage at least a friendship years in the future? Or do you find that it's just over OVER and you learn to manage the feelings around what was lost? Do you call it an end and find that the signs and syncs (happily) cease? I know I stood up for myself here, but I don't want to be bombarded by the signs and syncs and telepathy anymore, and I fear it will continue. And I feel that when those things come up, I will be haunted by the ways that I burned bridges and the connection cannot be reestablished to talk things out. I mean I cannot regret standing in my truth and choosing myself, but maybe the regret is different with a Twin? Did you find that nothing, no matter how cruel the words said, made them stay away forever?

I mean I'm facing a real dichotomy of emotions here. I want my Runner to stay away so that I can focus on my life here with my partner, decorating our house together, traveling abroad with his family, adopting a dog, possibly getting married, just making OUR life. But at the same time, there's a part of me that doesn't want my Runner gone forever because, well, you know it's the strongest connection a human being can feel and it's really hard to lose that, no matter how much it has hurt you.

I guess what I'm most interested in are those people who reconnected with their twins 20, 30 years down the line and figured out how to become friends again. Were all past transgressions forgiven in love? Is there a future after a final blow of the sort I've meted out?

(Also, I realize I shouldn't worry about that at all, but c'mon, we're talking about Twin Flames here).

Oh Forever Restless, yes!!!! I think I had that moment last night. For two weeks I've been going back and forth between acceptance and positivity - getting on in my life, moving on.. and terrible terrible pain and anguish. I can feel his intense, intense emotions ALL THE TIME in my body and head (brow chakra).. pain, anger... then love, love love...

He will not forgive me - no, that's not true. Subconsciously he forgave me already - I can feel that in his emotions. He won't contact me again. When he said it was final, it was final. I was too needy and pushy, too insecure - too much freaking out, delving etc! - he needed to go so slowly and he's so reserved - very understandable self-protection if I look at his past.

I think I experienced the Final Moment last night. It's after exchanging messages with another person on a forum, who I sense an attraction for. It occurred to me that what I had with my TF, I assumed I could have with no-one else ever again, nothing even remotely similar. But when we make love telepathically (which we do every night pretty much), whereas in the past it was indescribably beautiful, now as soon as I lose myself a little I break down sobbing. I can't do it. The emotions that come to the surface are too strong and too negative for me. It hurts too much.

So last night I cried and cried, thumped the pillows! Said 'why why, why?!' etc. etc. Considered having a drink and cigarette but have no alcohol in and have a terrible cough. Had to give up that idea :-)

Then I felt some beautiful positive energy coming over me... and it felt like it wasn't from him, it felt really different - like a different personality. I think it was from that other person. Sound nuts?! Anyway it was beautiful and it made me realise that I am still here! My feelings are still here! My emotions, my passion...

I know me and my first TF will always have the most special place in each other's heart and souls. We will always be connected. As you say, I'll feel his strong emotions - his love too - I think it may slowly get less now (I thought it would get less after stopping contact 2 weeks ago and so far - if anything it got more intense - but I think I was fueling it with my desperation). But it will always be there in the background. Or even as a constant presence, I'm starting to think.

Before I needed it to get less intense - how can I live like this?! But at the same time I desperately wanted it to stay, to never diminish. My god, I just learnt to FEEL after all these years and I'm going to say goodbye to that?! Be walking dead again?!?

Anyway so my dear... parallel journeys. Very parallel. It sounds like we're going through the same stages at the same time, pretty much ..

If you felt like PMing me for solidarity, do!

[Crowzie]

My awakening stirred up some tumultuous events between the two of us. Then, she ended it and jumped into another relationship not even 2 months after (while I was still living with her). Total slap in the face after knowing her for 19 years (we were officially together for 7 years though). So I deleted her off of FB after I saw she was in a relationship (which she was apparently surprised and hurt about).

((We were in the same place 10 years ago with the roles reversed. I was in a relationship with someone else and refused to believe I could love her; and I rejected her. So on that note it's quite karmic.))

After all of that stuff transpired, I decided I was done with being a doormat for anyone, no matter how much I love them. The biggest lesson that I came out with is setting better boundaries, and learning not to accept anyone's projections. I also don't feel comfortable being "friends" with her while she's in a relationship. We're too emotionally connected, and I don't want to interfere with her and partner in any capacity.

It's funny because the break-up was a huge spiritual break through. I feel more connected to her now, than I did when we were together. I can feel her guilt and sadness quite strongly. It's almost as if she's pleading with me to explain myself. I feel her starting to grieve the relationship. I also get the impression that her partner doesn't quite like me (even though I've never met them). Despite how crazy that seems, learning how to trust my intuition is another huge lesson in my life.

I still hold a space for the love we feel for one another. I also forgive the both of us for messing up quite badly. But now, I'm at the point where I need to heal and grow while building a strong relationship with myself.

Besides, I know that when we're in a better place individually we will come together in some fashion or another. She always has a place in my life and always will.