Can you take on someone else's depression and anxiety?

[Fleur de Frost]

Hi. :) to make a long story short, I helped my absolute best friend save their life from really horrible depression. I've always been an intense feeler and would sometimes experience deeply depressive *emotions*, but I was never actually depressed.

Once I helped turn their life around, I've been handling legitimate depression, for no identifiable reason. I've analyzed and reflected on nearly everything in my life and there's nothing external causing this... except that it's lasted since they made a 360 turnaround.

I'm so happy they did and I was the one able to help - genuinely could not be more thrilled - I'm just wondering if the timing is a coincidence, and if there's anything I can do to get us both back on the same level. :)

Thank you!

[LadyMay]

No you can't. As an empath I've made the mistake of trying to take on others emotionally purposely in order to lighten their burden. It never works and tends to make them worse in the end too (as well as just making you miserable)

But empathy can help you connect more with people and 'feel' what they need to do in their life to overcome obstacles. You can guide them in the right direction.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

the timing of events and seemingly identical symptoms appear to make this
more than random coincidence. you had not intended to "draw the darkness"
into your sphere of influence, but it has apparently entered (and left that of
your bestie). this problem offers you an opportunity for growth.
there are a few courses of action you might take in addressing the issue:
1) give it to God, or whatever 'higher power' you turn to for guidance.
*poof* the problem is not yours to handle and it vanishes from observation.
2) disperse the dark energy across your being and thus weaken it's effectiveness
to assume control of you and your moods. it's important to not be satisfied with
just that however -- the 'poison' would still need to be transformed (if it hasn't
done so on it's own through that process).
3) [opposite to 2]: isolate the darkness. if it seems to have a life force to it,
you might seek to understand what desires it wishes to fulfill. if it is not
respectful of life, then it properly belongs in the void... perhaps you can direct
it there.

i wonder why your concern is to get back to "the same level" as your friend?
(i believe that:) your responsibility is to your own well-being, first and foremost.

[Glacier Serenade]

Ah interesting.

I have been in a rather bad period of depression and problems, on and off especially in 2016 and have had a close friend to help with it. It was later on in 2016 when the tables turned and he showed me the amount of issues he was having, but I'm glad I was eventually able to relieve myself of my issues and stay in a state of love and positivity by just accepting many things and learning that feeling bad/regretting/wishing isn't going to get me anywhere. I've been in this staye for over a month now

I'm also an empath and love to help others get to my state of mind. I've tried telling him many affirmative quotes I came up with myself and to the best of my ability told him how I've got to this stage as our minds work very similar. I've suggested some videos, ones from the Youtube channel The School of Life are particularly interesting and helpful, even suggesting sharing his issues on this forum he hasn't really considered it.

But if I'm honest, I'm not totally sure how I've got to this peaceful stage. I wish I would though. Perhaps my mind is simply taking things into control. It's had enough of depression and negativity and it seems to refuse anything to do with that. I'm not really sure how to get him to use that statement to help him. To just wait until things get so bad you've had enough like I have, well I can't just suggest that. But I'm a very patient person so I'll continue trying to help him/someone who isn't right as much as I can. I know there was someone who had bipolar who I tried to help with depression and I tried the same sort of thing, but bipolar is different and not as easy to solve.

[Delsol]

I suspect emotional energies (all energies, really) mix on levels we can barely comprehend. My children made me realize this more concretely. Their ability to mimic my mood is startling, even if I am 'hiding' what is going on internally. Sometimes I don't even realize I am feeling a certain something until I see it manifested in my daughter. She of course is totally confused, but I know the source. It's a soup, a stew, of churning vibrations. Horace gives excellent advice (often does!) If you have no reason of your own to feel depressed, recognize that and try to isolate it. Meditate. Ground yourself frequently - literally imagine your two feet, your heart, with a straight line of energy unique to you deep into the ground, to the core of the earth. At the same time, imagine your connection to your highest self straight up into the heavens. Whatever is not part of those connections, recognize it as foreign and give it wings with gratitude. Your friend is blessed to have your positive vibes help him. Bless yourself the same way! Best wishes with it! A lot of people are depressed right now - it is a general vibe on the planet, I suspect. Can only get better from here, right?

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Glacier Serenade: But if I'm honest, I'm not totally sure how I've got to this peaceful stage.
I wish I would though. Perhaps my mind is simply taking things into control.
It's had enough of depression and negativity and it seems to refuse anything to do with that.

all possibilities exist within [you], including a peaceful state of mind.
by setting your intentions to achieve that state of mind, and not being
satisfied with non-satisfaction, you'll continue on until you reach that goal.
you did well; literally achieving wellness (which is peace of mind).
i figure that intentions are a responsibility that no one can shirk; we each
must set our own agendas, by (free-will) choice.

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Fleur de Frost

I've analyzed and reflected on nearly everything in my life and there's nothing external causing this... except that it's lasted since they made a 360 turnaround.

The problem with explainable pain or depression is that the hurting one does not know how to look deeply and HONESTLY within their past, especially their childhood, to see the various factors that have caused them to bottle up and HIDE their damaged feelings and pain which are now finally coming to the surface. In my own experience, I can feel others pan BECAUSE of my own hidden or inner pains - not theirs. Their pain is only TRIGGERING my hidden and often unnoticed feelings and pain, etc.

I'm just wondering if the timing is a coincidence, and if there's anything I can do to get us both back on the same level. :)

Thank you!

I can only say that I got into psychotherapy to uncover, examine and HEAL (I call it Venting) the hidden, repressed pain I had carried since early childhood and I still have to deal with it when I am triggered at a movie or by some other hurting person. I can be brought to tears in a heart-beat by the tears or expressions of love from others!