Is there more to human communication then Ego?

So I keep running around this issue in my own self-process and thought I would extend the question. I find that I want to relate things to others on a very basic level. Even if its just information that I find interesting. I think its possible that I lend to much value to ideas as well. Like I get an ego boost when I “figure something out” or see something in a fresh perspective. Like I get to think I’m smart. Then I want to relate information to others but I feel like in some subtle way im attached to the outcome. Even if they think its none sense and I don’t care how they feel about it I still think I am using them as a reflection in some way. Anyone have any insights regarding this issue? Or experience this them selves?

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Fairmountain

So I keep running around this issue in my own self-process and thought I would extend the question. I find that I want to relate things to others on a very basic level. Even if its just information that I find interesting. I think its possible that I lend to much value to ideas as well. Like I get an ego boost when I “figure something out” or see something in a fresh perspective. Like I get to think I’m smart. Then I want to relate information to others but I feel like in some subtle way im attached to the outcome. Even if they think its none sense and I don’t care how they feel about it I still think I am using them as a reflection in some way. Anyone have any insights regarding this issue? Or experience this them selves?

Fairmountain – I believe one can operate purely from ego, but I also believe that one can detach from ego by detaching from expectation from the interchange and the outcome of that interchange. Communication can be pure at heart and if it’s pure the other person is released from satisfying one’s ego. I think being a good listener that doesn’t judge is important in having interchange to which there is true desire to understand where the other person is coming from. Being entirely secure with self is the means to detaching from any expectation when communicating with others and that includes satisfying ego. Others exist in the world not to reflect back who we are, but to be other unique individuals with unique input back toward us in any communication. If others are expected to reflect back who we are or what we’re saying, we set ourselves up for disappointment. When people operate purely from ego, which happens, conversations turn into debates and egos clash, ultimately ending conversation. That’s just my humble opinion on this topic.

I think you already answered the question “Is there more to communication than ego?” when you said you’re attached to the outcome. Why are you attached to the outcome? What is satisfied in you when you are attached to the outcome? Think past the ego. Go deeper.

Blackraven

[xxLoveLifexx]

Fairmountain, when you talk about these things be very present and don't force yourself to be more spiritual, this can't work. If you talk to people where you feel you use more the negative side of the ego, which will be typically people like old friends or family, then be at least aware of what you say, why you say it and if its of any help/relevant. You don't have to bend yourself and you still get the experience of self-realization. When you get tired of using the negative ego you will automatically stop. Given that you fight it less, you suppress it also less and it don't feels so much the need to fight back in those moments when you are unconscious.

Hi Fairmountain, I think it's natural to get a boost when you figure something out or get a new perspective because it means your progressing which is a good feeling. Passing on information to others is always good as it allows you to get a better understanding of it and as you listen to any replies you might be able to gain an even better understanding or get another perspective. I don't think it matters if the ego is involved, the ego can be very helpful in encouraging us to keep moving forward and looking for ways to improve ourselves. Using people as a reflection is fine as long as you know it to be so and learn something about yourself during the process, they could be here for that exact purpose!
Love and Light

[Maguru]

I agree with Kayvee, after all you are a human being.

It depends entirely upon the size of cheese you would like to be, some folks need to be heard above the clamour of the multitude of other voices.

I am learning that God/Creation , will do it's thing irrespective of however much shouting anyone does.

Ego is a mechanism to validate ones existence to others as far as I can see, But here is the rub!

You and everyone else earned your right to be here the very instant you took physical form within the womb of your Mother. You do not have , No one has, anything to prove. The Ego is bit like the Appendix, fine until starts causing trouble, at which point , it's probably best to have it taken out.

Originally Posted by Lukas

Fairmountain, when you talk about these things be very present and don't force yourself to be more spiritual, this can't work. If you talk to people where you feel you use more the negative side of the ego, which will be typically people like old friends or family, then be at least aware of what you say, why you say it and if its of any help/relevant. You don't have to bend yourself and you still get the experience of self-realization. When you get tired of using the negative ego you will automatically stop. Given that you fight it less, you suppress it also less and it don't feels so much the need to fight back in those moments when you are unconscious.

Lukas this resonates. Although I have a question. At the end you talk about suppressing it less and not feeling the need to fight back. I did not understand this fully. If you have a moment to expand on that It would be really helpful as I think I am on the pin of understanding what you're pointing at. Your comment was very helpful - Thank you.




Thank you everyone who responded. While I did not reply to all the posts I read them all. I appreciate all of your insights.

[xxLoveLifexx]

Fairmountain, thanks for your response, I'm glad you could take something out of it. Ok I will share an expanded version of this.

When I speak of suppression, I speak of denying/pushing away that something is there (like i.e. a negative ego), which leads you to automatically withdraw your awareness from what you deny over time. When you withdraw your awareness you split that part of yourself off, but it still has a life force and will on its own, since its still part of your overall consciousness. Given that you are now not aware of it because you supress/deny/don't want to see this portion of yourself you created a split/illusion in your perception, its still there and doing what it does, since you didn't really change who you are, you just chose to not see it.

In general a lot of our unconscious are things we have denied over time, but they have still a great impact on us and of course if you will observe something negative, and point it out to someone with a closed attitude they will say "No, I can't see that I'm in conflict - I love and accept myself fully - what are you talking about?".

It can be more helpful to still keep doing something negative, but being consciously aware of it, not denying and creating the illusion of separation. We use denial as a cooperation mechanism so we can accept our image we have about ourselves without feeling too much pain, because we push away what we find inacceptable.

Keep investigating the real reasons behind the negative/deconstructive your are doing and stay present with the shame/guilt/fear when its comes up, it's bound to dissolve in your awareness, similar like the sun shines on an iceberg swimming in water, that upper portion that is opposed to the sun is bound to melt and evaporate, become less dense like vapor/water, but does not stay that dense material it is - it will become more malleable and stops freezing you. It can be painful in the heart to stay present with what you don't like, but you don't have to take it all once, it's typically happening more in layers when we dissolve it. When you know/investigate the core reasons behind what you do, you are less prone to doing it and you find the appropriate ways to heal it if that is what you wish.

It doesn't pay to fight with our little conscious portion the bigger/higher portion of the subconscious and unconscious. You might be able to stay with the fight for some minutes/hours/days/months/years, but the momentum will swing back as certain as a pendulum swings back into the opposite direction, from where it came from. Every war we have seen on this planet creates automatically it's own backward momentum, because its not a natural state, it's one that needs a lot of effort and can eventually destroy the one doing it.

Rather care to understand the mechanics, dynamics and cyclic nature behind it, so it's easier to accept that in the end it's normal for where we are at as a society in the development of our consciousness. Being interested in spirituality doesn't then become something to feel bad about, like feeling guilty to make yourself separate/egoistic from others, but it becomes a blessing because you slowly make that progress which makes you a more complete human being (without splits), one which others can relate to naturally. It doesn't need extra knowledge/explanations to radiate that, it is selfevident - people want to see it or not. Ultimately they relate to themselves when they listen to you.

To sum it up. It's less important what you do, but if you are able to stay present in it creates the difference, because in being present you have all the power to observe/accept/understand/change. Some people will even invite confronting situations for themselves to help them undergo a quicker path of realization, to transform, to dive into love and acceptance and being able to have a more holistic life.

I hope this helps.

Originally Posted by Fairmountain

So I keep running around this issue in my own self-process and thought I would extend the question. I find that I want to relate things to others on a very basic level. Even if its just information that I find interesting. I think its possible that I lend to much value to ideas as well. Like I get an ego boost when I “figure something out” or see something in a fresh perspective. Like I get to think I’m smart. Then I want to relate information to others but I feel like in some subtle way im attached to the outcome. Even if they think its none sense and I don’t care how they feel about it I still think I am using them as a reflection in some way. Anyone have any insights regarding this issue? Or experience this them selves?

Its in our nature to want to share fairmountain. The whole ideas of awakening your own connection to what you love and what you want to explore and be curious about, often naturally leads itself to want to open up and share with others. The human spirit craves connection in some form, whether it is just to create and be with you wihtout the inclusion of others or to include others, it lends itself to a greater connection.

Often when you let go of all attachement through the whole process and allow yourself to naturally just be yourself and be open to share, you are simply being you, regardless of what others might feel about that sharing.

The potential to find those interested is always there, so recognising and remaining true to you in that open space of sharing is important no matter what people may feel about you.

Originally Posted by Lukas

Fairmountain, thanks for your response, I'm glad you could take something out of it. Ok I will share an expanded version of this.

When I speak of suppression, I speak of denying/pushing away that something is there (like i.e. a negative ego), which leads you to automatically withdraw your awareness from what you deny over time. When you withdraw your awareness you split that part of yourself off, but it still has a life force and will on its own, since its still part of your overall consciousness. Given that you are now not aware of it because you supress/deny/don't want to see this portion of yourself you created a split/illusion in your perception, its still there and doing what it does, since you didn't really change who you are, you just chose to not see it.

In general a lot of our unconscious are things we have denied over time, but they have still a great impact on us and of course if you will observe something negative, and point it out to someone with a closed attitude they will say "No, I can't see that I'm in conflict - I love and accept myself fully - what are you talking about?".

It can be more helpful to still keep doing something negative, but being consciously aware of it, not denying and creating the illusion of separation. We use denial as a cooperation mechanism so we can accept our image we have about ourselves without feeling too much pain, because we push away what we find inacceptable.

Keep investigating the real reasons behind the negative/deconstructive your are doing and stay present with the shame/guilt/fear when its comes up, it's bound to dissolve in your awareness, similar like the sun shines on an iceberg swimming in water, that upper portion that is opposed to the sun is bound to melt and evaporate, become less dense like vapor/water, but does not stay that dense material it is - it will become more malleable and stops freezing you. It can be painful in the heart to stay present with what you don't like, but you don't have to take it all once, it's typically happening more in layers when we dissolve it. When you know/investigate the core reasons behind what you do, you are less prone to doing it and you find the appropriate ways to heal it if that is what you wish.

It doesn't pay to fight with our little conscious portion the bigger/higher portion of the subconscious and unconscious. You might be able to stay with the fight for some minutes/hours/days/months/years, but the momentum will swing back as certain as a pendulum swings back into the opposite direction, from where it came from. Every war we have seen on this planet creates automatically it's own backward momentum, because its not a natural state, it's one that needs a lot of effort and can eventually destroy the one doing it.

Rather care to understand the mechanics, dynamics and cyclic nature behind it, so it's easier to accept that in the end it's normal for where we are at as a society in the development of our consciousness. Being interested in spirituality doesn't then become something to feel bad about, like feeling guilty to make yourself separate/egoistic from others, but it becomes a blessing because you slowly make that progress which makes you a more complete human being (without splits), one which others can relate to naturally. It doesn't need extra knowledge/explanations to radiate that, it is selfevident - people want to see it or not. Ultimately they relate to themselves when they listen to you.

To sum it up. It's less important what you do, but if you are able to stay present in it creates the difference, because in being present you have all the power to observe/accept/understand/change. Some people will even invite confronting situations for themselves to help them undergo a quicker path of realization, to transform, to dive into love and acceptance and being able to have a more holistic life.

I hope this helps.

Lukas I had to copy and paste your post into a word document to spend more time with it. All of this resonates on a very deep level thank you for taking the time out to elaborate more deeply. I don't really have any questions as you covered so much. I'll be needing some time to process this. Now that some of these "sticking points" have had a light shown on them I'll be needing to look into them. Thanks again Lukas - I've been getting a lot more from this forum then I ever expected.