Out of my mind

DaisySunshine · #1 18-10-2017, 01:39 AM

It's been 18 days now of my tf ignoring me. Nothing specific happened, we were just texting as friends. Then radio silence despite him being active on social media. For 2 weeks he didn't even read my messages, then this past weekend he finally did but no response. 10 months as close friends and now this.

I know I'm supposed to just let go and focus on myself but I can't. This is driving me out of my mind. Even if he told me he doesn't want to talk anymore, I'd have something concrete. But I am a wreck and am just crazy over this. How do I do this? What do I do? What do I not do?

Every time I start to attempt to let go for my own peace and sanity, I think how unfair it is. He doesn't get to just hurt me like this and pretend I don't exist while he goes on to have a picture perfwct fairytale life. No, he doesn't get to.

missxchief · #2 18-10-2017, 02:00 AM

I know its hard but you gotta understand that he is struggling too. If he is your twin you need to trust the process that everything will work out eventually, that he does love you and is thinking of you. This is all part of the journey and worrying about it and going crazy is going to prolong the pain longer than it needs to be. he will be back when he's ready, in the meantime focus on you and your healing. take care of yourself.

ssdm1 · #3 18-10-2017, 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

It's been 18 days now of my tf ignoring me. Nothing specific happened, we were just texting as friends. Then radio silence despite him being active on social media. For 2 weeks he didn't even read my messages, then this past weekend he finally did but no response. 10 months as close friends and now this.

I know I'm supposed to just let go and focus on myself but I can't. This is driving me out of my mind. Even if he told me he doesn't want to talk anymore, I'd have something concrete. But I am a wreck and am just crazy over this. How do I do this? What do I do? What do I not do?

Every time I start to attempt to let go for my own peace and sanity, I think how unfair it is. He doesn't get to just hurt me like this and pretend I don't exist while he goes on to have a picture perfwct fairytale life. No, he doesn't get to.

I understand how you're feeling - I was there a few weeks ago, not knowing what to do. This is hard.

Keep in mind you don't really know his reasons for not responding. You're looking at it only from your point of view. He may, in fact, be ignoring you as you think, but it may also be any number of reasons. He did read your messages, he has not blocked you from contacting him - that's something.

I tend to do this with mine. I changed my profile pic on FB and he did not like it for 2 days. I was getting myself all upset, thinking all kinds of bad things, when it was just that he had been out of town and didn't see it. So try to be gentle with yourself and not overthink what could be going on. You'll only drive yourself crazy - I know I do.

This is my biggest challenge still, to be able to really trust that mine cares for me. Still have not gotten there yet.

#4 18-10-2017, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

I know I'm supposed to just let go and focus on myself but I can't. This is driving me out of my mind. Even if he told me he doesn't want to talk anymore, I'd have something concrete. But I am a wreck and am just crazy over this. How do I do this? What do I do? What do I not do?

Every time I start to attempt to let go for my own peace and sanity, I think how unfair it is. He doesn't get to just hurt me like this and pretend I don't exist while he goes on to have a picture perfwct fairytale life. No, he doesn't get to.

Really, you need to find anything physical you can to distract yourself (along with any meditational thing you feel you need to do. Running, dancing, a hobby of any sort, moving furniture around in your rooms, anything. Meanwhile when you do get a thought of him turn it into looking for something about him that you don't like. No one is perfect and there must be things about him you wished better.
Then just start going out a bit. If you feel like meeting others do so just on a friendship basis, just to have a few laughs and some joy.

It does look like he's taken you for a ride so allow yourself some resentment and learn the lesson - look at how it evolved and decide you aren't going to be taken in a second time like that.

The main thing, surely, is fill the time/space with things to do rather than this morbid preoccupation.

DaisySunshine · #5 18-10-2017, 10:19 AM

Thank you for the advice all.

I can find plenty I don't like about him. I end up frustrated he's the one who left, and I go back and forth on getting revenge and hurting him back.

SomewhereInTime · #6 18-10-2017, 08:52 PM

I'm going through the exact same thing myself right now. I'm trying to be patient. I know there is a lot to process with these connections. They just need space. Take that time to feel what you feel. If you feel resentment, angry, sad, whatever the case may be, just let the feelings flow. It's OK to feel what you feel and your feelings aren't wrong. Just try not to linger there. They will come & go like waves.

DaisySunshine · #7 19-10-2017, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime

I'm going through the exact same thing myself right now. I'm trying to be patient. I know there is a lot to process with these connections. They just need space. Take that time to feel what you feel. If you feel resentment, angry, sad, whatever the case may be, just let the feelings flow. It's OK to feel what you feel and your feelings aren't wrong. Just try not to linger there. They will come & go like waves.

Thank you. I'm trying. Just the fact that he's out of my life for good is hard to accept.

happyhaunts03 · #8 19-10-2017, 12:10 AM

I have been going through something similar lately. My TF and I periodically "block" each other for peace of mind. I couldn't even feel my TF's energies for a few weeks. Last night, I finally felt him again.

Have faith that things will work out. It might not be in this lifetime, but eventually, it will happen. I didn't realize it even a few months ago, but now I see that having space once in a while is a good thing so you can keep a knowledge of your self. There are times I really need/want my TF to be there, either physically, or at least that I could feel his energies, but there are times it just doesn't work out that way. Like someone else said above, it's hard to process these connections. A break once in a while is normal.

ONEsoul · #9 19-10-2017, 01:11 AM

Daily Sunshine You may not believe me, but I have been where you are at EXACTLY this point.... It is HELL on earth, but here is what I know....You have been hand selected to experience this hell....Consider yourself blessed....A great friend /pastor once told me....Darkness does not come after the weak and mild....why would it? That is no threat to God's kingdom...Darkness comes after those whom are filled with LIGHT, and are able and willing to do good in this world...It will come at you in every imaginable way....So as he told me I am telling you.."Consider yourself blessed" , that darkness finds you a threat....BUT I WILL ALSO TELL YOU...If you turn on a light in a dark room, darkness disappears.. LIGHT TRUMPS DARKNESS, EASILY...Keep your light present..and you can EASILY say "shoo fly" go away. It is no longer a threat... Find your light love, and dont let go xoxoxo

ONEsoul · #10 19-10-2017, 01:11 AM

Daily Sunshine You may not believe me, but I have been where you are at EXACTLY this point.... It is HELL on earth, but here is what I know....You have been hand selected to experience this hell....Consider yourself blessed....A great friend /pastor once told me....Darkness does not come after the weak and mild....why would it? That is no threat to God's kingdom...Darkness comes after those whom are filled with LIGHT, and are able and willing to do good in this world...It will come at you in every imaginable way....So as he told me I am telling you.."Consider yourself blessed" , that darkness finds you a threat....BUT I WILL ALSO TELL YOU...If you turn on a light in a dark room, darkness disappears.. LIGHT TRUMPS DARKNESS, EASILY...Keep your light present..and you can EASILY say "shoo fly" go away. It is no longer a threat... Find your light love, and dont let go xoxoxo