Since the day my mother told me i'm a pisces at the age of 8 i became fixated and fascinated with astrology. I grew into anything i could sink into and learn about that was spiritual. you name it. i was learning about it.
while girls at 10 played dress ups, i was ghost hunting and planning out where to find them and at what hour mum would be fast asleep so it could happen. A spirtual pisces sun full of dreams and make believe fun. looking to find if any are actually real.
My rising is sagittarius. ruled by jupiter sucking up knowledge. large ball! so forthright, so blunt, so to the point, so sometimes passionate and firey, so clown of the clan, so seeking to learn and share. generous sagittarius. kind of annoys people
*cough* My moon is capricorn. I'm not good at adhering to 'rules' in my rebelious sag rising. without this placement, i probably wouldnt at all. Yet this is the cool emotional placement. if i get struck by you. as in emotionally effected deeply. you get met with ice cold. you're out. i wont budge, i am very very very stubborn emotionally. that includes love. i wont budge. but i may hate you too. because i dont approve of something about you. that effects me emotionally. my emotions are always right. because my disapproval is never wrong. if i love you. its because i am right about you. if you prove me wrong. you are off the pedestal for good. it may take time, but when father saturn has given enough time. it's done. Moon in capricorn is not a good placement for emotional bonds.
the new moon in libra and sun is effecting me big time right now. i'm open to energetic and spiritual activity. movement of energy. the more i walk in this journey the more of me opens and opens. and this is all about balance and libra is ruled by Venus. the planet of love and beauty. are you feeling it? How is it effecting you?
DECISIONS! my scales. all of it is up on scale and capricorn moon is having a major effected hay-day on this one. All strict and cool and coming in to balance all this crazy mess. emotions!!!!!!!! what the , says my capricorn moon. Venus, come with your scales if I may, place my heart upon and weigh what it says. IT SAYS YOU'RE STUPID!!!!!! thats my capricorn moon decision on the scale of venus. my sag rising has inquired enough to know this is balony! the whole thing. My pisces dominate under this balance is freaking the heck out. oh no. my dreams! ....capricorn moon says wake up sally. the reality is you're a watery emotional dreamy romantic mess. my capricorn moon has the whip out and is ready for major reality checks delivered to you out of a Pisces sun mouth appearing as a bold blunt firey saggitarian that gained as much info as possible on every topic the Pisces spiritual loony became fascinated by.
it's over.
this is not at all. about anyones experience here but mine and how im experiecing this effect. i feel so open in clarity . i dont care at this point what i 'look' like to anyone because i'll be judged anyway. we all will. this is a game. i been played so many times i lost count. my capricorn moon is demanding i wise up and get real sober about this person. this experience and what this entire reality is. ego and all. and the ego of him. of everything and everyone.
my mother. omg. i love her, i do. we have so many conversations, of varied topics. my mother is an extremely well read libran. im sure she's read 6 libraries 20 times over in the amount of books. its all i will remember about my mum is her pile of library books every week since i can remember. 'you pronounce it like this' in correcting me all my life. 'what do the schools teach you kids!?' yet has no desire to teach. hates kids. my mother, so intelligent and intellectual, almost lacks compassion but not toally. thanks to Venus! i catch her out and she hates it. she literally turns her back on me. Today she spoke to me about 'unity' and how 'they' want to conquer and divide. I tell her but it works. it always has and always will an it effects us all on an individual and global scale like it or not. people hate. you wont even go into a store if an indian runs it. you, like everyone else help keep the divide alive. 'but its not indians i hate, its what they do' and so you protest in racism?
I left a group because 10 african black american people told me i had no right to be there because i was too white. i didnt walk their ancestors pain so id no business to be there. It was to learn of true african culture. and all these angry black americans raged. why? the poster had posted 'why is racism an issue and how can we solve it? I spoke about unity. and i got HATE. i had to leave, it actually upset me to understand it at that level emotionally and with an intent to learn authentic culture. of course i had many msg me and apologize and explain some things. but wow. its here, its there, my mother. its everywhere, some form of hate. and to have experienced that in who i thought was a tf is disappointing. im not sure what is real but this vicious hate. who i thought was a tf, his race is known for intelligence and inventions. and war. literally built a wall and i find he has one within and based on intellect. it really makes me wonder if all this does all make one huge picture. maybe its not all random. it's all very much a clue. it relates. all my country wants to do is 'make peace' and thats all i ever wanted. seriously, we start no war. mediation is the standard and obvious direction of our people.
what is loving about him?, a whim of emotion that struck him in a vulnerable state one day? truth is, thats not him and wasnt him and over 5 years he has shown me who he is and i chose to deny that and believe that 'moment' was really him. I got duped. this new moon is balancing a lot. and im seeing in logic and spirit but moon in capricorn in my chart makes this a cold one. i really dont care anymore. and that breaks my heart more than anyone or anything outside of me. because i know when at that point of saturns whip, its the lesson of the reality. it can be dropped now.
my capricorn moons reality always breaks my pisces sun's dreams.
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