Saying one thing to your TF but not your sig other?

[happyhaunts03]

My situation is complicated because my TF and I had to be very careful in the 3d world when we were physically nearby for various reasons. But, while we couldn't say words, I did things with my TF that I've never done with my husband. My favorite moment was staring out over the ocean with a full moon above, feeding on each other's spiritual energy and without even touching, looking into each other's eyes and seeing the entire universe. We also had a look we'd give each other when a song came on the radio that told the other that the song reminded us of us or was conveying a meaning we couldn't speak of.

I don't want it to seem like my husband and I don't have our own things, too. We have inside jokes, are like best friends, and work together without serious drama...it's just different. Every relationship is different, so it makes sense when you think about it.

[psychegrl]

Mt twin never expressed any words of love to me except for once when we first met the (2 weeks in) and he was struggling with the intense energies. It wasn’t even directed towards me either. He was ranting a bit about not understanding what was going on saying "How can I love 2 women at once?!?"

He did say I was his best friend and he could share things with me that he couldn't with his wife, as well as, he cared about me a lot.

While he was very careful about not doing anything that would seem over the friend zone line, he would often equate me to his wife in different ways. Like saying, "I can't lose my family, I don't want to lose my wife and I don't want to lose you."
At first I didn't think much of that but him not including his wife in the family category and using the same words of dismay when talking about her became obvious the more he said it.

I never talked about him leaving her; I didn't think it would be possible for us to be together but it seemed to be on his mind. He NEVER (except once he slipped) spoke badly of her because he didn't want it to be why he was talking to me.

There were other small things here and there. Once when we were trying (again) to create guide lines for our communication, I asked if we could talk to one another about emotional stuff but it had to be a two way street. His reply was "You mean like how a husband talks to his wife?" I completely lost it and said he couldn't say things like that to me! (because, of course, that was exactly what I wanted.) We were constantly challenging that stupid line!

At the very end he realized he was cheating emotionally and he turned off all closeness towards me. He said he didn't want to lose me as a friend (a close friend) but I couldn't handle not being authentic with him. 3 months later I walked away. We met and I told him my feelings hadn't changed and he said he couldn't led two lives. I told him I understood and shocked him I was cutting all contact with him.

I was completely relieved to not have to play the game with him anymore but I knew I was walking away from the man who created the new standard of love for me.

It's funny, I've forgotten most of this but talking about it is bringing all of the amazing (and not so amazing) stuff up. I forgot how much I miss him.

[Eternal Flame]

I've told me Twin Flame that I love her and my wife equally. That heart love is there. What is unequal is the connection.

I've always been a few clicks out of sync with my wife, but it's never been a problem. On the balance of all things, relationship with my wife over last 18 years has been great. We both have certain issues we help each other with.

My my Twin Flame, It's this blast of energy. Like the finger of God has come down and touched me. A stream of eternity blasting right into me.

It's a different experience. Different people.

Yes, it tears me apart.

Hopefully my Twin Flame going off with this other guy will give me some space. I'm looking forward to the separation.

[psychegrl]

I've told me Twin Flame that I love her and my wife equally. That heart love is there.

Yes, I believe that is what my TF must have experienced, too. And I know it was very confusing for him as he never considered having an affair before me. Even when we were talking about it, he was not really pushing for it because he couldn't be there enough for me and he didn't want to hold me back from someone who could be. We basically set up a pros and cons list together. LOL

We ended up deciding not to but the weirdest thing was my lack of jealousy towards his 'other life.' He even asked me about it and I pushed him to try harder with his wife to have the connection he deserved. I loved her because he loved her. She was special because he opened up the unconditional love within me and I knew I could never be happy while feeling at odds with an invisible person.

I still feel this way. Though there was a time after we stopped talking but was not ready to let go and I saw photos/posts where he was trying so hard to reconnect to her but the smile didn't go all the way to her eyes. I was frustrated that she didn't see the effort and love he had for her. That was a rough time and I needed to get real about my life and stop waiting for him to know that I was still here for him. That was about the time that all the TF signs were coming in. I'm so glad that it wasn't something that we knew during the short time we were connected. He is not one to be controled by anything and it would have been the excuse he needed to fight it even more.

Funny, when I was shown through an exercise that he was my twin I was so upset. The reader was so nice and 'saw' what an good man he was. She also said he was going to work hard at his marriage and it would be a while before anything would happen in my direction. That is a hard truth to dangle in front of me. I've heard it might be next year or the following. I feel like it would have been almost kinder to not know but knowing has made me surrender and heal.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by psychegrl

Yes, I believe that is what my TF must have experienced, too. And I know it was very confusing for him as he never considered having an affair before me. Even when we were talking about it, he was not really pushing for it because he couldn't be there enough for me and he didn't want to hold me back from someone who could be. We basically set up a pros and cons list together. LOL

We ended up deciding not to but the weirdest thing was my lack of jealousy towards his 'other life.' He even asked me about it and I pushed him to try harder with his wife to have the connection he deserved. I loved her because he loved her. She was special because he opened up the unconditional love within me and I knew I could never be happy while feeling at odds with an invisible person.

I still feel this way. Though there was a time after we stopped talking but was not ready to let go and I saw photos/posts where he was trying so hard to reconnect to her but the smile didn't go all the way to her eyes. I was frustrated that she didn't see the effort and love he had for her. That was a rough time and I needed to get real about my life and stop waiting for him to know that I was still here for him. That was about the time that all the TF signs were coming in. I'm so glad that it wasn't something that we knew during the short time we were connected. He is not one to be controled by anything and it would have been the excuse he needed to fight it even more.

Funny, when I was shown through an exercise that he was my twin I was so upset. The reader was so nice and 'saw' what an good man he was. She also said he was going to work hard at his marriage and it would be a while before anything would happen in my direction. That is a hard truth to dangle in front of me. I've heard it might be next year or the following. I feel like it would have been almost kinder to not know but knowing has made me surrender and heal.

Like you I'm trying to accept his girlfriend into my life. If I want the friendship/connection with him, then she is part of that.

It's funny how people cannot understand how I can do that. I even invite both of the to do things with me, like sports events.

I think my lack of jealousy (there is some though) and my acceptance of her throws him off. He was expecting I'd leave.

I'm still not sure how this all will work out. I want his friendship and struggle some with all this.

[psychegrl]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Like you I'm trying to accept his girlfriend into my life. If I want the friendship/connection with him, then she is part of that.

It's funny how people cannot understand how I can do that. I even invite both of the to do things with me, like sports events.

I think my lack of jealousy (there is some though) and my acceptance of her throws him off. He was expecting I'd leave.

I'm still not sure how this all will work out. I want his friendship and struggle some with all this.

Wow that is impressive! That is some serious unconditional love you are showing them!

I've never met her thankfully and can accept her much better from an abstract pov. I know I could not have any kind of relationship with them in the current cercomstances because I would not be able nor want to hide my love for him. I was able to before I understood the depth of the TF bond.

I cut contact with him months ago and have been challenged by source to be in my truth in all ways. Change my very way of life to be authentic. I couldn't be just friends and wouldn't have healed as much if I thought he was that close looking for any temperature change.

If he comes back I'll know he's sincere in his actions and can start to rebuild trust. If not, I'll have the growth and strength I've gained to do my work solo.

♡