Awakening and Anxiety

[Shivani Devi]

A story.

The thing that makes me cling to my ego, is to have something in my life to be grateful for, without everything...every single action or inaction...no matter how small, turning to s***, repeatedly and ad nauseum. This creates the bulk of my anxiety.

I don't know HOW many times, the seat belt clasp on my mother's wheelchair has become irreversibly caught between the wheel spokes after I remove it from the trunk, so that it will not unfold.

What happens, is that during a 10-15 minute trip, the vibrations of the car change the molecular structure of the wheelchair spokes, causing them to go into 5D, whilst the seat belt clasp very slowly slips between them...planck length by planck length...so that what takes 10-15 minutes to occur, takes 2-3 hours to undo.

I am also aware of the old saying "that which ye resist, persists" and so with that...today, after the sixth time this has occurred in the past two days, I got out a pair of scissors and cut the seat belt off (mum never uses it anyway) looked up to the sky, laughed and said "GOTCHA! NOW try it...muahahaha".

Of course you all realise that this is going to just re-manifest as something ELSE, until I manage to circumvent that as well, without having to deal with it...until it re-manifests as something ELSE...no matter HOW stupid or idiotic that is.

My whole life is a game of stopping the universe from screwing with my head...because, you know...if I just "give in" and "let go" that's not going to stop this idiotic stuff from happening that I have to spend hours undoing. It is not going to stop other people saying "no" when I want something...and it's not going to stop the huge queues in front of ATM machines, only to have the ATM go 'out of service' when I approach it.

The 'evil forces' have got it in for me because I always disable their attempts at frustrating me with a pair of scissors, bolt cutter, cigarette lighter, chainsaw...no matter what gets destroyed in the process...it does take its toll on my mental health, however...because they keep changing the rules and the focus of the game to another item...or another person.

[Emm]

I used to suffer from panic attacks and they always hit in the middle of the night, the fear was unbelievable. Its no use to try and mentally run from it, it just makes it worse. What I found worked though was to stand back and observe what was taking place, feel the fear or anxiety, see where it originates within you, for me it seemed to begin in the gut area but it was my thoughts about it that caused me the greatest grief. If you can seperate the feeling from the thought processes it may become more manageable.

Another thing is not to analyze the fear, don't try to figure out the why's and wherefores, that really doesn't help. Quieten the mind as much as possible, this way you will allow things resurface into your memory, things you may have forgotten ...but again don't overthink it, just allow it and let it be. You may find a spontaneous need to cry but thats ok, its whats needed and then the healing has taken place.

You'll find the mind, body and spirit of you work in unison if you let it...we have a tendancy to let the mind rule and then we land ourselves into trouble. Hope this helps and you find some peace.

PS. Just to mention that the moment I did this those panic attacks ended there. I intuitively had my answers and in this instance caffiene was he culprit lol.

During my awakening though it was the resurfacing of old memories that helped with other issues, and they too are now laid to rest. We mustn't run away from ourselves, we are our own healers if we just allow the process to begin. Don't go looking for it, the memories will come in their own time if you're quiet and aware.

about a negatived fact
there be numberous
optimisms truths that
sorround them fact

[Lucky]

I do feel like this is a bit of the ego falling away, as I can relate to you right now. The more I think I'm advancing, the more anxiety creeps up on me. I can't nail down the root cause as hard as I try. I experience a lot of physical symptoms, as that's my weakest part. I just went through a complete blood work test to rule anything else out, which I'm still awaiting results, but if it comes back clear then I know it's Ascension symptoms.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Lucky

I do feel like this is a bit of the ego falling away, as I can relate to you right now. The more I think I'm advancing, the more anxiety creeps up on me. I can't nail down the root cause as hard as I try. I experience a lot of physical symptoms, as that's my weakest part. I just went through a complete blood work test to rule anything else out, which I'm still awaiting results, but if it comes back clear then I know it's Ascension symptoms.

I know, right?The ego kicking and screaming.
I personally HAD to dig deep into my knowing (not faith, knowing) that God/Universe/my Maker, whatever,
wanted me to be happy and feel His Love extraordinaire...when the mind shifts it's focus to thoughts of 'His Love' to Truth...
the Love that begot creation and is there but maybe I am not sensing...where did the anxiety go?
Like a shadow in the light ..ha, it's not there!

[Shivani Devi]

Greetings.

I made a post on another thread, but it equally applies here...If not, moreso.
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...&postcount=210

I am one who had increased anxiety after my awakening, for the past two years, it has been a fight against my ego, feeling like I was trying to hold back Niagara Falls with an umbrella.

There must be some "unwritten law" that says those with personal phobias shouldn't be 'allowed' to undergo the Ascension process, unfortunately I couldn't find it.

Also, as unfortunate as it is, Spiritual Awakening tends to increase and highlight sensory perception, so that mountains are made out of molehills...and if one hasn't transcended this before the fact, trying to do so afterwards becomes an almost insurmountable task.

There is no "going back" and it seems to be a one way ticket to oblivion, so trying to resist it...to fight it is only an exercise in futility because the ego is held captive by a Higher Force and so all one can do is to let go and hope for the best.

Listen to yourself and it will tell you what you need to do...this entails taking greater care of yourself in all matters.... having good sleep, keeping hydrated, doing relaxation and mindfulness techniques, eating well, taking herbal supplements, going out into nature and grounding yourself, having positive social interactions etc.

Often, you will not feel like doing this, but the alternative is to stay exactly how you are...or for the symptoms to get worse...So if you want to get better, you really have NO choice...and being awakened makes you realise this....It is 'crunch time'.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I am one who had increased anxiety after my awakening, for the past two years, it has been a fight against my ego,
feeling like I was trying to hold back Niagara Falls with an umbrella.

There must be some "unwritten law" that says those with personal phobias shouldn't be 'allowed' to undergo the Ascension process,
unfortunately I couldn't find it.

LOL ...you are a fantastic writer and I love your sense of humor.
I wonder if you could write a small book on the ups and downs and pratfalls of the Spiritual Path.
Kinda like the equivalent of a cooking book, "How to cook with burnt margarine, When your gas has been turned off."
or 'Why To Not EVEN Start On the Spiritual Path".

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

LOL ...you are a fantastic writer and I love your sense of humor.
I wonder if you could write a small book on the ups and downs and pratfalls of the Spiritual Path.
Kinda like the equivalent of a cooking book, "How to cook with burnt margarine, When your gas has been turned off."
or 'Why To Not EVEN Start On the Spiritual Path".

Thank you, Miss H.

I tried writing a book once... finished two chapters...realised I said everything I wanted to say in the whole book in those two chapters...realised I neither had the patience nor aptitude for book writing.

Nah, my path will be totally different. As soon as I manage to get on top of this myself, I will educate psychologists and neurologists about labeling 'kundalini gone bad' as a psychosomatic illnesses like somatoform disorder, dysautonomia or FND.

I will also get my Reiki qualifications, become a Shaman and an energy healer and do soul retrievals free of charge.

[Compendium]

I have suffered anxiety since my teens. I have also been going through the process of Awakening since I was 12. One thing I have learned is anxiety surrounds fear of the unknown. So maybe you should delve into that and see if you can logically unwind your fear when your not in the middle of an episode.