its about the energy

[Tuesday]

I get it. I do. I understand why you don't want To be with me, And truth be told, i hate the person i am when i'm with you.

It's about the balloon around my stomach that appears when i think of you too Much, which these days happens rarely, only once a year around June, the time of year i'm going where you are going because it's a stupid habit of ours. Or we are trying To create a revolution Or whatever.

This balloon, it's sickening. I hate myself over it. I hate the clingy slimy man i get and i know you feel it too and i know its not something you want To be around with.

What many People don't understand is, that its about the energy you are when you are with them. If its good energy, yay, if its unsettling, then yes, you need To work on yourself because Who wants To be with someone they feel unhappy with?

And for us it was beautiful for quite some time. The Air, Or unattachment, i felt when ever i saw you, when ever i talked with you. When ever i did something for you. And i did a lot, i helped you so Much that i Can feel nothing but Being grateful because i got To put myself aside and help you. I feel grateful and look those days as the Best days of my life.

Even though it was many, many years ago and even though i have grown so Much since then, even though i've become a Better person than i was back then.

But To Tell the truth, i have never been as good as i was when i was with you.

Our friends don't understand. Many have told me To be mad At you because you couldn't handle me when i left myself and you down. Many Tell me To just realize you are not a good person because of that. But i don't hate you. I understand. And i accept that it is what you have chosen.

Even though it makes me sad.

Even though it makes me cry that i have Lost my one chance of Being truly happy with someone.

Because i haven't found anyone Else. I have tried but nothing seems To work. And i wonder how you make it so easy. How do you make romantic relationships work? I have tried but i cant seem To settle. I cant seem To let go of the thought that there is and Can be something Better than just... What i've found.

I wonder if i'll ever find something as great as you.

I hope you are happy. I hope you dont compromise too Much To be with someone. I have seen you do that and i hope you have learned from it. From the looks of it, you have grown with every relationship you've been In.

I hope you are happy. It sounds that i'm not Being truthful and it sounds like i'm bitter. Maybe i am a little. But that's my issue because i hope To see you happy.

Just wish you were happy with me.

[Jatd]

You are heard my friend. Validated. Justified. I get it.

I know how it feels.

[M.Tesla]

It sucks. Today is hard. This energy that never leaves... Sigh

[Akira]

Originally Posted by Tuesday

I get it. I do. I understand why you don't want To be with me, And truth be told, i hate the person i am when i'm with you.

It's about the balloon around my stomach that appears when i think of you too Much, which these days happens rarely, only once a year around June, the time of year i'm going where you are going because it's a stupid habit of ours. Or we are trying To create a revolution Or whatever.

This balloon, it's sickening. I hate myself over it. I hate the clingy slimy man i get and i know you feel it too and i know its not something you want To be around with.

What many People don't understand is, that its about the energy you are when you are with them. If its good energy, yay, if its unsettling, then yes, you need To work on yourself because Who wants To be with someone they feel unhappy with?

And for us it was beautiful for quite some time. The Air, Or unattachment, i felt when ever i saw you, when ever i talked with you. When ever i did something for you. And i did a lot, i helped you so Much that i Can feel nothing but Being grateful because i got To put myself aside and help you. I feel grateful and look those days as the Best days of my life.

Even though it was many, many years ago and even though i have grown so Much since then, even though i've become a Better person than i was back then.

But To Tell the truth, i have never been as good as i was when i was with you.

Our friends don't understand. Many have told me To be mad At you because you couldn't handle me when i left myself and you down. Many Tell me To just realize you are not a good person because of that. But i don't hate you. I understand. And i accept that it is what you have chosen.

Even though it makes me sad.

Even though it makes me cry that i have Lost my one chance of Being truly happy with someone.

Because i haven't found anyone Else. I have tried but nothing seems To work. And i wonder how you make it so easy. How do you make romantic relationships work? I have tried but i cant seem To settle. I cant seem To let go of the thought that there is and Can be something Better than just... What i've found.

I wonder if i'll ever find something as great as you.

I hope you are happy. I hope you dont compromise too Much To be with someone. I have seen you do that and i hope you have learned from it. From the looks of it, you have grown with every relationship you've been In.

I hope you are happy. It sounds that i'm not Being truthful and it sounds like i'm bitter. Maybe i am a little. But that's my issue because i hope To see you happy.

Just wish you were happy with me.

Thanks for sharing this, so raw, visceral and truthful - there is grace in this truth.