MishMash

[Lolly]

My dream was a bit mishmash in that there were quite a few symbolic references in it. I dreamt my front door was open, (I was outside) and when I looked through it there was a toilet in the hall with a small fence around it made out of wood. I was trying to figure out if the toilet being there was a good idea but then saw beyond that there was a graveyard and no longer saw the wall of the hall.

I set of walking away from the house and a family member was walking with me. We went up a kind of ridge with soil on like where you'd plant flowers or roses and then we were walking down a hill in some kind of field. The family member was talking and talking and talking until I got irritable and shouted 'shut up' at them.

I was on my own then as they'd gone on ahead and I was climbling down some steps which were all different sizes and pointed in different directions. I couldn't see them, I had to feel them with my feet and I was hanging on to this spongy grass verge but it was on top of what felt like a roof. It was high up anyway and I was scared I might fall, the drop if I didn't get on the right step to go down was too high.

The word 'fork' came to me as I woke up. Too much symbolism in this to figure how it comes together

[Michelle11]

A house is where we live so your state of mind and how you deal with life. You are outside yourself right now evaluating your current state of being. Toilets represent the release of emotions and what is no longer of any use to us. Currently it seems you may hold back expressing and releasing as the toilet was walled off so possibly some form of protection. This may be because of some old buried issues you have yet to address. Or the walled off toilet is leading you to bury your feelings. You may have a tendency to keep things inside and possibly a habit of disowning your emotions. It's not uncommon for people to try and disown their anger because they were mistakenly taught anger is bad or makes us do bad things. Those who want to chose love over hate often try everything in their power to rise above anger. But anger is a necessary emotion we need to help protect us when a boundary has been crossed or our life is threatened. I'm not saying anger is something you try to bury but using it as an example. It's for you to ask yourself what are you trying to bury. Once you know the what you can work to find out the why which is possibly based in some misguided perception about life and who we are 'supposed' to be.

The second part shows you have the potential to grow a beautiful garden for yourself, see your inner beauty but you may have a tendency to talk yourself out of it. Do you tend to have cycling thoughts that spiral into self degrading talk? Do you ruminate over who you are and how you act using it as proof of your lack of worth? It sounds like you are ready to stop the cycling inner chatter to begin to grow a better self perception.

The challenge though is you may not know which way to go to solve your inner troubles because allowing yourself to feel low or negative feels scary and makes you feel vulnerable. Feeling negative triggers fight/flight in us as a consequence of having a brain wired for survival. It matters not what feels threatening for our brain to fear things as life or death. I was quite astonished how terrified I was to allow myself to feel my anger because a part of me truly felt like it would end me. Making mistakes was also something that triggered an end of the world feeling in me. So something in your life triggers that for you. Try to pay attention at the times in your life that you feel triggered and afraid. It will help you see where life is tripping you up because of some misguided ideas that you were fed along the way. I had a father who always criticized and as such I developed an aversion to making mistakes and getting scolded. It really tripped me up until I finally confronted it. You appear to be on a similar path of self discovery. So just ask yourself what is it you are burying and trying to avoid. Once you are clear on that then you can get to the root of why. But the dreams seem to basically be showing you that there are issues holding you back from flourishing. Get to the root and your garden, your authentic beauty, will grow.

[Lolly]

Originally Posted by Michelle11

A house is where we live so your state of mind and how you deal with life. You are outside yourself right now evaluating your current state of being. Toilets represent the release of emotions and what is no longer of any use to us. Currently it seems you may hold back expressing and releasing as the toilet was walled off so possibly some form of protection. This may be because of some old buried issues you have yet to address. Or the walled off toilet is leading you to bury your feelings. You may have a tendency to keep things inside and possibly a habit of disowning your emotions. It's not uncommon for people to try and disown their anger because they were mistakenly taught anger is bad or makes us do bad things. Those who want to chose love over hate often try everything in their power to rise above anger. But anger is a necessary emotion we need to help protect us when a boundary has been crossed or our life is threatened. I'm not saying anger is something you try to bury but using it as an example. It's for you to ask yourself what are you trying to bury. Once you know the what you can work to find out the why which is possibly based in some misguided perception about life and who we are 'supposed' to be.

The second part shows you have the potential to grow a beautiful garden for yourself, see your inner beauty but you may have a tendency to talk yourself out of it. Do you tend to have cycling thoughts that spiral into self degrading talk? Do you ruminate over who you are and how you act using it as proof of your lack of worth? It sounds like you are ready to stop the cycling inner chatter to begin to grow a better self perception.

The challenge though is you may not know which way to go to solve your inner troubles because allowing yourself to feel low or negative feels scary and makes you feel vulnerable. Feeling negative triggers fight/flight in us as a consequence of having a brain wired for survival. It matters not what feels threatening for our brain to fear things as life or death. I was quite astonished how terrified I was to allow myself to feel my anger because a part of me truly felt like it would end me. Making mistakes was also something that triggered an end of the world feeling in me. So something in your life triggers that for you. Try to pay attention at the times in your life that you feel triggered and afraid. It will help you see where life is tripping you up because of some misguided ideas that you were fed along the way. I had a father who always criticized and as such I developed an aversion to making mistakes and getting scolded. It really tripped me up until I finally confronted it. You appear to be on a similar path of self discovery. So just ask yourself what is it you are burying and trying to avoid. Once you are clear on that then you can get to the root of why. But the dreams seem to basically be showing you that there are issues holding you back from flourishing. Get to the root and your garden, your authentic beauty, will grow.

This is greatly appreciated Michelle11, thank you for taking the time to do this. I actually thought the more layers we remove the easier it should get but that's a big misconception

[Michelle11]

Right, it's like one thing leads to another to another to another and so on. Interesting and confusing all at the same time but worth the effort.