Can 'no sexual attraction' be changed?

[Crwydryn]

Originally Posted by someguy92

I will be brutally honest with you, because of your best interest.

You can change sexual attraction, believe me every sane normal man will be attracted to woman who is fit, in great shape.Believe me, beauty is in eye of the beholder, face,height...everyone has different tastes,but great shapes are good looking for anyone. No I am not going to talk about stuff like you must be who you are etc. thats just petty naive talk. To tell you the truth, life is about change, its about perfecting yourself, being better everyday, everyday is a chance for you to grow, the more you grow the better person you are,throw your ego out of the equation. See this as a chance for growth, the talk like dont change, you are who you are is just self defeat talk, that STAGNATES your growth and ultimately destroys you and no one is going to read a good book without a good cover, cold harsh truth, how can he know you intimately if you cannot break the attraction barrier? Ofcourse, you should be yourself, but on soul level, you shouldnt hide behind different personas, thats what be yourself is about,its not about things you can improve, its about your core, your building blocks of your soul, be true to them as they are you. You see your body is a temple, without strong body you cannot have strong spirit vice versa, your body is a machine wich adapts to your soul, your soul points and body follows, if your body is weak, you cannot do great things, imagine you would have old rusty car and you want to go into a big hill...you need to imrpove your machine. So getting fit not only will help with your self esteem, it will help with your health, sexual attraction, spiritual developemnt, you can only win and win big. Mainly do it for yourself, because it may sound selfish, but your life is mainly about you, but dont forget others, balance is key.

It wasn't brutal at all :) I do believe that every rejection, any kind, is a good opportunity to grow, I'm not going to make excuses that he must accept me as I am as it is just **. I am not perfect and there is always room to grow and sometimes we do need someone to tell us off, not always being politically correct.
We all have preferences and I know myself I met some people I would have liked more if they had lived their life to the full. They were holding themselves back and it was not attractive at all.
Basically I agree with you.
And I am doing it for myself mainly but it is just a plus kick to know that I can change people's perception about me.

[Crwydryn]

Originally Posted by Smilealittlebrighter

Finding someone like that would be more worth it than being with somebody who's now attracted to you because you changed in a physical way.

He liked me as a person but not as a woman. And a lot of times I run into the same thing so I do need to change as I don't want to be the friend all the time. I think that's understandable.

[Boldwiseone]

Originally Posted by someguy92

I will be brutally honest with you, because of your best interest.

You can change sexual attraction, believe me every sane normal man will be attracted to woman who is fit, in great shape.Believe me, beauty is in eye of the beholder, face,height...everyone has different tastes,but great shapes are good looking for anyone. No I am not going to talk about stuff like you must be who you are etc. thats just petty naive talk. To tell you the truth, life is about change, its about perfecting yourself, being better everyday, everyday is a chance for you to grow, the more you grow the better person you are,throw your ego out of the equation. See this as a chance for growth, the talk like dont change, you are who you are is just self defeat talk, that STAGNATES your growth and ultimately destroys you and no one is going to read a good book without a good cover, cold harsh truth, how can he know you intimately if you cannot break the attraction barrier? Ofcourse, you should be yourself, but on soul level, you shouldnt hide behind different personas, thats what be yourself is about,its not about things you can improve, its about your core, your building blocks of your soul, be true to them as they are you. You see your body is a temple, without strong body you cannot have strong spirit vice versa, your body is a machine wich adapts to your soul, your soul points and body follows, if your body is weak, you cannot do great things, imagine you would have old rusty car and you want to go into a big hill...you need to imrpove your machine. So getting fit not only will help with your self esteem, it will help with your health, sexual attraction, spiritual developemnt, you can only win and win big. Mainly do it for yourself, because it may sound selfish, but your life is mainly about you, but dont forget others, balance is key.

I love this. I want to put it on my fridge lol. Beautiful, thank you.

[fennel]

This is a tricky one. I do understand the need for a healthy lifestyle and taking care of one's self, but...at the end of the day, one needs a true and constant affection from a partner that doesn't just hinge on physical perfection.

Here is an example from my own life. I met my partner fifteen years ago. She is 5' 9" and at the time, weighed nearly 200 lbs. Not obese, but over her ideal weight. I was completely blown away by her. She radiated confidence and had a quirky sense of humor and was obscenely intelligent.

Seven years into our relationship, we bought a treadmill and various other gym equipment for our home (I was tired of the neighborhood gym). She got up on that treadmill for 50 minutes a day. In a year and a half, she'd dropped 40 pounds and looked and felt amazing!

Today, she's been going through a lot of stress and some weight has come back- about twenty pounds. I still adore her- it's her I love. I know that things will ease at work and she'll get back up on that treadmill, but even if she doesn't, I just love her, you know?

What I'm saying is this: You need to be with someone who won't shut you out romantically based on where you are weight-wise. So yes, do go ahead and adopt a healthier life style...but don't settle for a person who can only be attracted to you if you fit into some strict criteria of physical perfection.

I wish you the best.

I am a grey-asexual currently recovering from a restrictive eating disorder trio.

If they are at all worth being close to you in a romantic or sexual relationship, the desire will remain no matter your appearance. You can go blind, lose multiple limbs, lose hair, you name it, but when someone loves you that much, it means squat. Because in their eyes you are always beautiful and worthy.

I am only a teen but I see this daily with my peers. Even though my weight these past few months has ballooned drastically, the people that I befriended or could possibly be in a relationship with... the attraction and relationship did not faulter whatsoever. Love is not based on appearance. I wish I could say the same for my family (very judgemental, do not trust me, become very controling with my weight gain). It helps and it's nice, but once you have yourself a real friend appearances mean nothing.