How do you guys feel about cheating?

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Captain

Wow talk about choosing the longest and most circuitous path.

There's this thing called intimacy btwn 2 lovers, it's profound and binds you on many levels and that intimacy needs to be monogamous to survive.

There's this thing called free-love which is also profound and binding on the deepest levels possible because it requires the experience of God in All to maintain- a state so overwhelming that most of humanity would probably drop dead from the intensity. True intimacy then is acquired where you become One entity with all that is and all those whom you desire to love as part of the grand cosmic tapestry in life. There's no distinction between them and you- a collective united consciousness. But the ego hates the thought of that. But it's truly wonderful. As The Glow said, society is not ready for anything like that yet. But they really don't know what they're missing out on.

[TheGlow]

I'm going to use a mildly emberessing example.

My husband had to work 3 weekends in a row.
The industry is very odd, often the entire office will work till midnight.

One of those weekends he was at work very late and was going to be back in very early. I asked him for safety sake to not drive home.
They have a great lounge, kitchen. He could crash and it was safer than him driving home so groggy.

Still I couldn't bring myself to admit to a few friends he didn't come home that night. There would have been innuendo about who he may have been with.

That night however I realized it was stupid.
I know he wasn't with anyone but still it occurred to me that he was tired, working hard and wasn't taking great care of himself.

I couldn't get to him... If someone were there to bring him a tea, make him rest for a bit and maybe eat something... How could I not want that person in his life showing him love.

The danger is our programming saying you must ditch one to love another.
If we are all kind compassionate non malicious or manipulative people I shouldn't be threatend by someone else loving him too.

Society isn't there yet but if I am seeing it is possible I imagine others are too.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

I'm going to use a mildly emberessing example.

My husband had to work 3 weekends in a row.
The industry is very odd, often the entire office will work till midnight.

One of those weekends he was at work very late and was going to be back in very early. I asked him for safety sake to not drive home.
They have a great lounge, kitchen. He could crash and it was safer than him driving home so groggy.

Still I couldn't bring myself to admit to a few friends he didn't come home that night. There would have been innuendo about who he may have been with.

That night however I realized it was stupid.
I know he wasn't with anyone but still it occurred to me that he was tired, working hard and wasn't taking great care of himself.

I couldn't get to him... If someone were there to bring him a tea, make him rest for a bit and maybe eat something... How could I not want that person in his life showing him love.

The danger is our programming saying you must ditch one to love another.
If we are all kind compassionate non malicious or manipulative people I shouldn't be threatend by someone else loving him too.

Society isn't there yet but if I am seeing it is possible I imagine others are too.

I love this example. How can you not want their happiness? It just... baffles me. How possessive we can be over love which exists freely for all who want to connect. And I'm no exception to jealousy but I can put those programmings aside and like you realise "well hang on, this is stupid"... why am I threatened? Because I think there's not enough love to go around, when the entire universe is made of love, there's no shortage at all of it. We just have to find it in ourselves first, then share it freely around us.

[TheGlow]

Oh and incase the guys are thinking because I'm a woman I wouldn't be bothered bya drop off in intamacy so that's why I'm less bothered, I will add that I am higher drive than he is.

I'm just a very affectionate expressive person so yes that part would suck but I still do not feel love is to be possessed.

[Captain]

First I wasn't threatening anyone with karma, pls don't twist my words. I was letting you know you might want to reel it in for your highest good.

Secondly, folks pls read about the different types of unconditional love such as agape and not compare the love you have for your family or friends to the intimacy of a lover relationship.

When people don't feel the deep powerful bonding with a lover in a monogamous relationship you are either with the wrong person or you have personality disorder tendencies.

When personality disorder folk try to tell young and inexperienced lovers it's ok to swing and go poly they are doing a disservice to the whole.

[TheGlow]

Captain- I won't bother replying to you after this because it seems obvious you are choosing to see Scarlett and my comments through only your perspective.

I have been with the same man since I was 17 no one else in that time(38), and Scarlett has stated many times on the forum that she has been almost asexual till she recently fell for someone.

Neither of us are promoting ******* around. I actually find sex out of strictly lust, vs deep love intimacay and binding connection to be nauseating, add lust to that great but lust without the rest it defiles the magic to me.

However I will never believe we are only capable of having a loving intimate relationship with one person.

Polygamy and polyandry have been practiced for centuries. You saying its impossible and wrong doesn't make it a fact.

There is no point to cheat ... if you feel your relationship is dead and you want to experience something new then just be honest and don't hurt the other person who trust you ...

[Laulau79]

Depends on circumstances
My ex husband was cheating and lying I had no clue. We had put a deposit on a new house and everything
Three children and youngest was only a year
He walked out and moved straight in with Her. It almost killed me and has destroyed the children, my eldest is under a child psychologist
My ex is now living the high life of holidays and new cars
Cue me. I meet my soulmate and do nothing but push him away out of fear
I ish no harm to my ex husband as in not nasty but right now it feels like he's getting everything his own way 😣

[Laulau79]

However ... I wouidnt dismiss an open relationship if honesty and respect were there. I'm confidant in my soulmates love that he is unlikely to leave. Many other cultures adapt this life and I don't see wrong with that. It's the lies and the abandonment which is hard to comprehend
I hate lies

[MysticalShaman]

Nothing wrong with "Open Relationships" which is totally different to cheating, but it's like the same thing only if all parties consent it's a Win-Win.

So try not to cheat, cheating is to deliberately go behind someone's back and their trust so you can have your fun with someone else at their expense - if they find out the betrayal they will feel will probably kill you, not to mention the guilt you will feel for causing someone that pain. So why create all the pain? Why not take your relationship to the next level with Honest and Open communication.

Open relationships don't mean you have to be physical with every thing you find attractive - it can just mean you're Open Enough in YOUR RELATIONSHIP to say;

"Hey Babe, you know I find that person over there very attractive" - And then see what happens from there. You can set ground rules and no-nos, but it's an opportunity to Grow in Openess together, and not hide away and stab one another in the back.

Unless you want to be the bearer of Pain, don't cheat.