I Love You.

[NightSpirit]

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

I don't think one can really know that about others in the context of someones actual love for the one they are saying this to. I tell my kids and wife that I love them everytime we say goodbye to each other, in person or on the phone, and yes, it just comes out in a natural way almost as if there is no thought to the words but that is not a reflection on my love for them.
I think it is nice to say it and hear it even if it seems as if it is just an expression. I know and feel otherwise.
When I hear others say it, I don't think "meaningless" at all.

I agree with you WhiteShaman. When my spouse was alive we felt very comfortable and desired to say I love You all the time. It also felt very natural to us. I also say so to my grown-up children.
My current partner has difficulty saying these words, so I stopped it to, so as not to put him in an uncomfortable spot. But he certainly shows his love in many other ways.

[psychoslice]

How many people say I love at the altar and are divorced not long after ?.

[astralsuzy]

It is true, a lot of people do say I love you and get divorced but not everyone gets divorced. There are a lot of happily married people around. Of course, there are ups and downs but that is life.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by NightSpirit

I agree with you WhiteShaman. When my spouse was alive we felt very comfortable and desired to say I love You all the time. It also felt very natural to us. I also say so to my grown-up children.
My current partner has difficulty saying these words, so I stopped it to, so as not to put him in an uncomfortable spot. But he certainly shows his love in many other ways.

and that really is my point......people love the best way they know how...they are not phonies. They don't say I love you and not mean it. In general and IMO.
James

[Gem]

If you say I love to to the partner, parent or child it's meaningful because everyone knows what it means.

Sometimes people say to me 'I love you' and I have no idea what they mean by it, or if they mean it at all. Sometimes I think perhaps they're trying to make the impression that they are a loving person, or that they are 'spiritually loving' or 'unconditionally loving' ...something like that. In this way I suspect sometimes that 'I love you' might mean 'I'm loving'.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Gem

If you say I love to to the partner, parent or child it's meaningful because everyone knows what it means.

Sometimes people say to me 'I love you' and I have no idea what they mean by it, or if they mean it at all. Sometimes I think perhaps they're trying to make the impression that they are a loving person, or that they are 'spiritually loving' or 'unconditionally loving' ...something like that. In this way I suspect sometimes that 'I love you' might mean 'I'm loving'.

yeh, in that context, I can see it meaning that I am loving but I have to disagree that people try and give the impression of being loving. Why would they do that?
they are being the best they know how to be..IMO of course.
That is where we differ immensely..........I don't see people putting on masks to give false impressions.............I see people doing the best they can.

(and I am not trying to give the impression that I am a positive person...lol)

[Gem]

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

yeh, in that context, I can see it meaning that I am loving but I have to disagree that people try and give the impression of being loving. Why would they do that?

I don't know why, but it obvious that they do.

they are being the best they know how to be..IMO of course.
That is where we differ immensely..........I don't see people putting on masks to give false impressions.............I see people doing the best they can.

(and I am not trying to give the impression that I am a positive person...lol)

They may well be doing the best they can, but it's plain obvious people purposefully give false impressions, and even moreso abject lies, manipulation and deception.

"I Love You" can be a very cruel lie.

I don't think it is at all prudent to miss what's obvious in favour of an ideal.

[BlueSky]

I don't think it is at all prudent to miss what's obvious in favour of an ideal.Gem

Well, lets just say that if unbeknown to me, that I am just trying to keep alive an ideal and it filters how I see things............then the same thing must be possible for you and you can unknowingly be trying to keep alive an ideal that differs 180 degrees what I see.
I am open to being unknowingly blind..................I just don't see it...........not even in the tiniest bit.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

I don't think it is at all prudent to miss what's obvious in favour of an ideal.Gem

Well, lets just say that if unbeknown to me, that I am just trying to keep alive an ideal and it filters how I see things............then the same thing must be possible for you and you can unknowingly be trying to keep alive an ideal that differs 180 degrees what I see.
I am open to being unknowingly blind..................I just don't see it...........not even in the tiniest bit.

Don't be so naive.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Gem

Don't be so naive.

Ha! that is what I would expect you to say.
I say in return, don't be so predictable.......lol