Do you regret marrying? Why? - Page 3

#21 08-12-2011, 10:52 AM

So far, 14 years and at times, it gets agonizingly frustrating and heartwrenching, but, not once did I regret getting married...it hurts way more to think that we could be separated...Good question! Thank you for posting, helps to put the hard times into perspective. Thankfully - No Regrets here

alamode · #22 14-12-2011, 07:12 AM

I don't regret marrying, but my marriage didn't work out. I chose to get divorced. We had one child together and I am very thankful for her and love her very much. I would like to get married again one day. And have another child

psychoslice · #23 14-12-2011, 07:14 AM

I've never been married, so I have nothing to regret lol.

astralsuzy · #24 14-12-2011, 11:02 AM

I do not regret getting married. There are a lot of positives in being married. Nothing in life is perfect and marriage is not perfect as well. We have to learn to get along. There are annoyances here and there but it is important to work it out together. The most important thing is not to lose the love for each other. Once the love is gone then that is the end.

Emmalevine · #25 19-12-2011, 10:44 PM

I split from my controlling ex nearly 6 years ago. He was difficult, spoilt, bipolar and manipulative. Yet I don;t regret marrying him one bit. I learned so much from him. He wasn't all bad as he had some lovely qualities but sadly we both had too much emotional baggage to make it work. We married too young and had a disabled child, plus I have long term health problems which neither of us had the maturity to work through. It was very hard and lonely being married to him but at the same time they were years of tremendous self discovery and growth. Finally being able to tell him it was over was a terrifying yet liberating experience. We have both gone on to better lives even though he begged me to take him back. I knew I couldn't hurt him anymore and vice versa. I trusted we had gone as far as we could go together.

Personally I feel that regret of any sort is a shame. When regretting an experience you could be avoiding what personal growth and good may have come from what may seem on the surface to have been dreadful. In fact it is the hardest experiences that stretch us and challenge us the most.

PurpleMist · #26 22-12-2011, 06:40 PM

It is interesting reading through these posts. I am in a marriage (9 years). It is controlling (financially, emotionally, socially, physically etc) and yet I still stay.

It is a very complex situation (more than I can talk about here) and I know that I am staying for a reason, I just don't know what yet. My husband is not a bad man and has never raised a fist to me. I think he is Aspergers but he is in denial (I do a LOT of work in this area, so I know the signs/obsessions). It helps me to understand why he needs control but also why I need to stand my ground and where I need to do it. It is not easy, especiall when I see everyone elses 'perfect' (or what they want to project as perfect) marriages all the time around me where I live (London).

Do I regret marrying him, no and yes. No because I have the most beautiful daughter and I would never be without her. No because of the situation I was at the time I married him (which he knew) and all I wanted in the world was to marry him and I thought he loved me. Yes, because I think I could have got a soul mate but then no again because I would not have learned what I have if I had not married him. If that makes any sense what so ever, lol XXX

Sarian · #27 22-12-2011, 07:12 PM

Purplemist, thank you for sharing. My friend's son has Aspbergers. It's funny because I told him when I first met him, and before I knew his son that he would have difficulty with his son and I knew he would have some problems, but I was thinking more along the lines of bipolar and at times now as I have come to know him, I thought still it was bipolar, but reading on it, we both came to the conclusion it's aspbergers. Often wondered how he would fair as an adult in the adult world. He's 18 now...has a job and a girl, but he knows he's different and it troubles him.

I myself married a narcissist and now divorcing him, but it is a learning experience and I do not regret having my children at all and can't imagine not having them. They are amazing! anyway, I wish you all the best.

Emmalevine · #28 23-12-2011, 10:32 AM

My ex husband was definitely a Narcissist, possibly AS as well, parrticularly given our son is severely autistic.

Left Behind · #29 23-12-2011, 04:07 PM

I regret only that my wife passed away.

My marriage was wonderful.

Jim

SpiritCarrier · #30 23-12-2011, 06:20 PM

While my marriage was not a good one, I don't regret it. I learned a lot about myself while I was married. I also learned a lot in general. I don't hate my ex I feel sorry for him. We never had any children, I saw to that, I couldn't see bring an innocent child into such a bad situation. We adopted my brothers daughter upon his death and I raised her as my own. It was a blessing and I still feel that it was one of the best times of my life. I was married for 20 plus years. It was a difficult time but I think everything we go through in our lives makes us who and what we are today and I wouldn't change that for anything.

Thanks for reminding me of why I am happy about who I am.

Peace and Light,
SpiritCarrier