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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 01-09-2018, 08:14 AM
motunforever motunforever is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 2
 
Wishing him happy birthday

Gosh, it has been a long road.

I'll try and make this story short. Basically, my ex is turning 30 on Friday. I am actually shocked and cannot believe it, we've known each other for so long; and to be separated at this time is shocking and hard. I never thought I wouldn't be "around" for it. I've read so much on the internet about Twin Flames (and I am still learning)... There's something about him, but I don't want to claim that he is my Twin Flame and have that attacked, pulled apart or dissected. So, I'm just going to say he is very special to me and my inner being knows that.

Anyway, I'm in two minds about whether to contact him for his birthday. In the double digit years that we have known eachother, I've never missed his birthday and if I don't, on one hand I feel like I would be betraying tradition, the established way of doing things.

However, doing things like I have always done them (with him) has always lead me down this path and this place. Also, he is currently away with his current girlfriend, which not only hurt when I found out... But lead to the separation that we are now experiencing.

I don't want to deny the fact that I am hurt or feel like I need to protect myself, and put up boundaries. A part of me says 'no, I am not ready to act like everything is ok this time. I don't want to sweep things under the rug and neglect my pain just to keep the peace' ... I want to respect my feelings - my pain - my time to step back and really take in what's going on and the choices that he has made.
The ones without me.

At the same time, I don't hate him. I actually love him lots and want to acknowledge this milestone. It's special. Then again, I know my message isn't going to be light hearted, it is going to be affectionate and I don't want to overstep. I don't want to do too much. Speak in a way where things are deeper, when they are not at this point in time.

He did wish me a happy birthday this year, but was basic and I was a little hurt by it. Not that I want to engage in tit for tat behaviour, but I want to acknowledge this fact and recognise it. Right now, there's no substance and it's unlikely that I would get this back.

I understand there's this idea that during separation, you should only do things without expectation. I'm talking to myself, asking ... 'what are your motivations for sending this message? what do you want?' but to be honest, I just go back and forth with the content of this post.

After typing this, I'm leaning more towards not saying anything. A part of me feels like, this is the next step in the journey... Me, being quiet - properly. Not for a week, two weeks, but silent for an undetermined period of time. What am I scared of? Him feeling like I am so angry that I didn't say anything and/or feeling like I do not care anymore.

But if I am honest, I don't think he could ever hold against me that I don't care, because prior to him leaving... I have shown that I care and have done so for such a long time.

So, I guess after all of that, I just wanted to know how you guys deal/dealt with your twin flame/significant other's birthday? Perhaps you have a ritual or exercise that you do to acknowledge them, but doesn't involve contact?

Any stories / tips are welcome.
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  #2  
Old 01-09-2018, 01:07 PM
57tcjc75 57tcjc75 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 186
 
@motunforever, could you celebrate his birthday yourself & make that good?

You mention the boundaries & needing to protect self in the healing process. For myself, that is where I'm at when these closer connections end.

In fact, it has given me my power back to allow the disconnect to continue, if the connection was back & forth too much. There were 2 close souls that kept wanting me in their life then not, for number of years & eventually that is just not ok for my psyche (in this lifetime).

The beauty of these type of soul connections, is that they don't go away.
One can keep their reality until there is something that comes along, which is recognizing & healing (another soul connection, work on self, understanding of the reasons why).

The birthday of the first t.f. connection was significant for me. It's been nearly 10 yrs since I've seen him.. But there are a number of birthdays same day in his family & my own. The day, never goes unnoticed that it is his birthday too.

Another something I read recently that I'm taking to heart, is it said, people that spend money on, "experiences," gain more than spending money on, "things."
This is not directly related to your celebrating his birthday...
but maybe do something different to remind you of him, yet in this new journey you are on.

With the ex (first conscious awakening guy) I can't help but remember it is his birthday as we are celebrating same birthdays in my family of origin...but 10 yrs since seeing the ex, I would say it merges into bigger picture.

I envision heaven a lot.. & picture the connections there. This gives me more peace of mind knowing God's in control.

This latest soul connection guy I'm in contact with has a birthday
in a little over a week. We are Just friends & the intensity is there of these type of connections, so I need as much space as I need to be in contact with him.. He did not "replace," the other connections in my soul group but it's an add to.

I think of end of August/ September as being end of summer/ headed to fall, a time of Harvest. This connection LOVES to garden/ he knows how to work the land. Perhaps if you think of something your twin flame/ soul connection guy loves, and either magazine, or function, or however/whatever that is, include this into your day?
Could you get a card & keep it? Maybe tell him everything you want to say but then don't send it?

The beauty too of these meetings is the intense love, understanding which never has to go away, it evolves.
Sure, I say celebrate his 30th birthday, but maybe do so in a way you won't be hurt. Do something that makes a difference also to you because you exist. HUGS to you!
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  #3  
Old 04-09-2018, 09:16 PM
loulou1986 loulou1986 is offline
Guide
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 555
 
I remember starting a similar thread a couple of years ago on here about wishing him a happy birthday on his 30th. We had a different situation to you-both being married and not actually ever having a proper relationship. I didnt message him in the end. I must have invisaged a message a thousand times in my head, what i wanted to say but something inside stopped me. I sent across love to him energetically and left it at that. Sometimes silence is the strongest message you can give across. Dont overthink-listen to your gut and your heart and im sure you will know what to do x
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