Putting an end to a horror story
For eight years I allowed a very messed up man online to destroy every part of my dignity and integrity as a human being, to the point of becoming severely sick physically and mentally shattered. I became incapacitated for years and was surrounded by a very negative environment with relatives or alone feeling abandoned.
I did believe in twin flames, not anymore though, but I do believe in true love expressed in romantic relationships or in other forms.
I met this cold blooded person in physical for a few days and afterwards, my life almost ended for almost three years, the worst ones I remember. On top of that, I was drained by other negative people online and I broke free.
I could not stop fully the discontinuous lapses of communication with this person because of blackmailing and my circumstances. I believed maybe one day things would improve.
I acknowledge that my case is very severe and that I am a survivor of all the things this man and other people did to me. I did want to die for years and spent hours everyday alone in my room trying to heal myself of the constant darkness everywhere around me.
I attracted too many negative entities.
However, last year, I decided to break free. I removed negative people from my life, both online and offline, moved to a new place for myself and started a new job.
Now, things are much more positive for me. The people who surround me are a lot more positive now, after doing the most intense clearing and healing process that lasted several months, along with work that I had done before during those dark years.
I found out so much horror this man was doing on purpose behind my back to destroy me. His argument was always that i was to blame for his darkness because of bad things I did to him in past lives.
I do not doubt this man is still involved in heavy stuff online, drugs and who knows what else. Everyone was to blame for his misery, especially me. I gave everything I was asked for, to the point of losing my dignity.
I think that after finally closing off my heart and shielding myself, he might have understood that he lost me. I have now opened my heart to the best of my soul.
Perhaps part of me still had the idea that maybe, after some time, this man would change. But I was shown only a few days ago the most brutal thing I have ever seen. I thought that it was only about his past lives with me coming to chase me and not him in the present moment.
In meditation, in this vision, I saw him crystal clear, wanting to choke me. He was wearing the same clothes and his face was the same as how he looks like or looked like recently, not anymore something related to past lives.
I could not take out the vision and the feeling on my neck the whole day and that night, I wanted to really die and give up. My health was again really bad and no matter how much I was meditating and having a better time at work, I could not cope with this anymore.
"Is there love in my soul I can hold on to?"
Then, all of a sudden, I was shown this purity and whiteness. From it, a version of me emerged and spoke to me, and told me she is my I AM and that she is made of pure love and that she is vast enough for me to feel her everyday and feed on her love."
I held on to her for as long as I could and felt this incredible love filling all my being and then I was not only absorbing all this love but also a new sense of peace invaded me, along with a silence of mind and heart I had not felt before.
I felt renewed and I was able to regain some health.
I saw some negative aspects of myself, like past lives, becoming totally absorbed and transmuted by this intense love, like pure magic.
She continued speaking to me and removed beings in spirit form that posed as guides, but who were actually draining me, including the energies of the man who had tormented me for eight long years.
Since then, I feel better, but I still feel the wounds and negative energies coming from this man. It is easier to remove everyday and shield myself though. So I know the nightmare is not over yet but at least I have not heard from this person physically in a much longer time.
My I AM or Higher Self told me this brutal vision was really needed in order for me to really see who this person is and why I was treated like that. Sadly, there are people in this world who cannot come out of deeper levels of darkness and hatred. It was needed for me to see this in order to transform, let go and to hold on from now on to the reality of my soul, the true face of love within.
I still feel sad though, that I never had the opportunity to form a family, to be loved and accepted by a partner, and having met so many fake friends who ended up being just frenemies. However, this form of love motivates me a lot more to discover how far I can go if I can tap on a more regular basis on the real nature of love within and turn it into the fuel to create a life with dignity even if that means remaining single from now on.
For those who are single, what makes your heart sing?