Raise up being abusive?

[Marie]

My soul connection says he has to be abusive to raise me up. Screaming yes.
But, I wonder what you have to say about that.
He thinks that if you endure and sit through it, bad things, weaknesses, problems will surf, then you can sit in it till it leaves, and you can raise up.. Same thing with negative attention.. What's your thoughts

[lazydullard]

There's a million degrees of abuse. What specifically does he intend to do?

Being abused only raises skills related to being abused. You're not going to be a spiritual master by disrespect.

How do you want to be "raised up?"

If you have baggage related to having been abused, you might think everyone has baggage that can only be released by abuse. But most people don't. Most people don't benefit one wick from being abused.

[excusemydust]

We all walk different paths, but I don't think tolerating abuse is a necessary route on the journey toward spiritual enlightenment.

Nope.

Abuse, any kind of abuse.. Makes people strong despite it, not because of it.
If something bad happens, a weakness arises, a problem surfs up. You will have to sit through them anyhow.

There's gentle paths that lead up to the same kind of stamina, endurance and ** tolerance as any abuseive path can, only better, because they do not instill fear and guilt with the package..

Soul connection or not. Do not buy into any abuse. ever.
1 pertinent question does come up.
Who of you came up with the idea that you share a soul connection?

I ask because the biggest red flag anyone can receive is being told to accept abuse, because there's a perceived connection which supposedly is deeper and more significant than any abuse dealt..

Just my 2cts.
If they don't apply please ignore.
Just sharing my thoughts on the matter since you asked.

With Love
Eelco

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Marie

My soul connection says he has to be abusive to raise me up. Screaming yes.
But, I wonder what you have to say about that.
He thinks that if you endure and sit through it, bad things, weaknesses, problems will surf, then you can sit in it till it leaves, and you can raise up.. Same thing with negative attention.. What's your thoughts

The unconscious aspects of ourselves will often find reflections and creations to source how to understand ourselves deeper in so many ways of ourselves and life.

Sometimes we have choice in those creations and sometimes we don't. In the world we know of many countries/places/people who control others and people are trapped in confinement and restricted in their choice. So life and situations, can be out of our control and so we cant remove ourselves or get away.

So yes there are situations and people who under go some extreme and devastating life experiences that are the cause of others. Children included. This is sad and often can be horrendous for people. If they in some way get through, it often can lead to them overcoming in quite amazing and inspiring ways of the human experience and the nature of our deepest self... When you have choice in how you choose to understand yourself and what you are within, then I would be choosing wisely and with care for myself, because life itself, tells me when choice is offered it can be a supportive process not an abusive one.

When you don't have choice its a whole other experience..

Life itself is a great teacher and your friend is right we can sit and be present with what moves in us day to day to build a deeper presence and awareness of ourselves. I am a self reflector when activated by others, life or experiences outside of myself stay present and build a deeper grounded stronger foundation through this means. Life shows me in so many ways how to ground and stay centred, more mindfully and in truth of myself ongoing. So for me I have choice in this moment to say. Abuse is not something I will stick around for if I have choice to move beyond that space. I love and respect myself to make more wise choices.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Marie

My soul connection says he has to be abusive to raise me up. Screaming yes.
But, I wonder what you have to say about that.
He thinks that if you endure and sit through it, bad things, weaknesses, problems will surf, then you can sit in it till it leaves, and you can raise up.. Same thing with negative attention.. What's your thoughts

He's a turd. Get away.

[Rah nam]

Originally Posted by Marie

My soul connection says he has to be abusive to raise me up. Screaming yes.
But, I wonder what you have to say about that.
He thinks that if you endure and sit through it, bad things, weaknesses, problems will surf, then you can sit in it till it leaves, and you can raise up.. Same thing with negative attention.. What's your thoughts

If a "soul connection" is some kind of partner, even so I don't understand the term, all you can learn out of it is to say no, so far and not further. There is never an excuse for abuse. never.
Yes, we do enter difficult relationships intentionally, often to use it as a springboard, but once you are aware of it, it will not act as a springboard any longer. Latest then it is time to act, or you will loose the momentum.
Just put a stop to it or leave, if you can without animosity. Thank the person for the role they played for you. Doesn't have to be verbally.

[OEN34]

Stay well clear IMO.

Also, ask yourself does contemplating allowing abuse reflect the inner stability of yourself.

Originally Posted by Marie

My soul connection says he has to be abusive to raise me up. Screaming yes.
But, I wonder what you have to say about that.
He thinks that if you endure and sit through it, bad things, weaknesses, problems will surf, then you can sit in it till it leaves, and you can raise up.. Same thing with negative attention.. What's your thoughts

Go see a shrink, your head isn't straight. Seriously, I'd reckon you have a mental health issue.

Originally Posted by Gem

He's a turd. Get away.

My feelings too.

Marie, don't allow yourself to be vulnerable to a statement like that. For a start you don't know where it might lead. If he's a naturally abusive person and gets away with it things can only get worse.

Unless I've misinterpreted you widely how on earth can abusing you make you grow? It's very different from being strict with you to help you learn.

(This "abuse" technique can sometimes work. In some martial arts monasteries the masters would tease or even beat their students in a very measured way to incite the students to fight back when they've had enough of it. But these are very adept and clever masters in full control of what they're doing. This "soul connection" of yours doesn't sound like one of these (unless I've got it completely wrong - he might just be a very wise person - only you know. But that doesn't come across in your opening post).

The danger with his approach is bias - "weaknesses" will emerge only in response to his abuse. They will not necessarily be your real weaknesses if you have any. Remember, a weakness in one situation could be a strength in another. (e.g. a very good team player might make a weak leader. Likewise someone inadequate in a team might make a superb leader.) As they say, "if you want to purge yourself of demons be careful not to offend your angels!"

Good luck.