Sharing my continued process <3

[bluebird21]

Something big has shifted for me today. I have dropped the twin flame belief and I can not TELL YOU how freeing it is! I feel like this big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally get out of my head and actually be present with what IS. There were such heavy feelings of expectation I felt from this theory that have now lifted. Phew. The label/theory was acting as a major hindrance to feeling, and was inciting a lot of fear and confusion in me.

"Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all." -Pema Chodron

I felt it for a decade before I labeled it a "twin flame connection." I felt it when I was 7 when I saw him in a field and I knew, I just knew something that can't be put into words. I felt it when we almost bumped into each other and stared into each other's eyes and it felt like a major shock and recognition. I felt it when we sat together and I felt what I described as a "love bubble" rush up my body. I felt it when I was 12 and had my first dream of us merging in Oneness. I felt it when I was 14 when I referred to him as "my curse" as I couldn't ever fully get over my longing and he would periodically pop up still in my dreams. I felt it as a teenager as powerful mischievous physical attraction, shared stares across the rooms when we'd run into each other. And at 18 when we hugged and I experienced myself as an infinite blue Light. I felt it when my heart chakra burst open and I remembered True Love, for myself, for him, and for all others, and I felt it when the following night we returned to each other's arms and I felt such calm and feeling home. I have felt my magical connection with him my whole life, the truth is even before meeting. And there is so much mystery! I have not spoken to him in many years. We are adults now. I have been so in my head about our connection that I had forgotten to feel it and I have forgotten how much I DON'T KNOW! It became an ego thing I was clinging to out of fear which lowered my vibration and made me disconnected from spaciousness.

Removing this label has provided for so much SPACE and I really feel relief. It felt like way way to many expectations came with it. Now there is room for not knowing, for practicality, for lightness, for communicating with him like he's another normal adult haha. Up until this point I have not been wanting him to message me, I actually felt dread. I now understand why. Because with this twin flame label, for me, comes a lot of stories about "what we are" and "what should happen" which quite frankly I find claustrophobic and ungrounded. It feels so good now to have room for thoughts like "I haven't spoken to him in years, who knows how this will go if we talk." Also, I feel a greater degree of letting him go and surrender.

And ya know what? The not-knowing is a part of the fun. Awakening is like walking through a dark maze and each new pathway is lit up for you at the right timing. I don't want to know what will happen. I don't want to label this connection any longer. I am open and I am curious and for the first time in a while, I want to connect with him.

This isn't to say the twin flame theory didn't help me - it did. It made me realize I am not crazy. But it no longer serves and it's time to open to what actually is, which right now feels like a lot of space and not-knowing. It feels like a fog is lifting... the sky and the trees look more beautiful and brighter and crisper.

Warm wishes to you all and I hope this helps someone else! Thank you, Imzadi, for giving me the confidence to finally let this label go. Xo

[Kalika]

This post made me smile

Yay to us on our journey <3

I too have noticed the sky and the trees look more beautiful and brighter and crisper. I feel the LOVE, hehe.

Negativity is not able to get through for some strange reason, hence I am finding it harder to be offended. Great isn't it! And less attached too. I touched on this in one of my other posts.

Tis exciting times indeed

[bluebird21]

I'm glad it made you smile :) Yes, now seems like a powerful time for many in our awakenings! I also realize that by allowing for not knowing I feel much curiosity - why did I have this powerful awakening triggered by my feelings for him? What could this connection turn into? What is it? Feels good. I think what I am feeling is openness and letting go of this part of my ego.

[selene]

Awww, bluebird :). I am so happy for you for reaching this. I'd love to hear more about what triggered this new step in your awakening.

I think this is a great step and an important one. I too have felt in the past that labeling the connection can have a restrictive effect on its future prospects and a quality that lacks depth beyond the surface of the romance. I think I started to slowly peel this label off the bond sometime in April and it's a gradual process but by now, I believe that I am almost rid of any expectations from my 'twin' -and I call him that, I have said it before on the forums, as a term of endearment that he and I both use to describe our friendship without ever having talked to each other about TF theory.

Keep up the good work bluebird! <3

[bluebird21]

Thank you Alyanna! What triggered this - He reached out to me for the first time in many years 3 months ago. Though we aren't in touch now his reaching out catalyzed a shift for me which is getting particularly powerful right now. I feel deep lineage 'programs' and remaining ego hang ups that are keeping us from talking all being purged right now. And my holding onto this theory and the fears/expectations it perpetuated is one thing that perpetuated our silence. And Imzadi's beautiful most recent post is what really triggered this. He reminded me that the connection is there with or without the label.

[RedBasket]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Thank you Alyanna! What triggered this - He reached out to me for the first time in many years 3 months ago. Though we aren't in touch now his reaching out catalyzed a shift for me which is getting particularly powerful right now. I feel deep lineage 'programs' and remaining ego hang ups that are keeping us from talking all being purged right now. And my holding onto this theory and the fears/expectations it perpetuated is one thing that perpetuated our silence. And Imzadi's beautiful most recent post is what really triggered this. He reminded me that the connection is there with or without the label.

It is good to read your update, Blue.
I'm interested in knowing more how holding onto the theory brought down your vibration and hindered the ego work? Was it the expectation for reunion? It seems as though you still recognize the profound, soul-level connection with this individual and how that has been a constant catalyst for you to turn within and recognize your soul.

So I'm just interested in hearing more about the shift of labels in your thinking. From what I can surmise, you still believe in the truth of the connection and that the bond was/is real? Or am I reading you wrong?

A quick update from me, hearing my twin's (ex)wife validate the truth of the connection I felt with her husband was very liberating to me, regardless of the future and what transpires or doesn't. I don't know why "reality" was so difficult for me to accept (probably legacy of childhood and strange parents). But I currently just accept there was a magical connection of our souls. I felt I saw him and i felt seen by him. This awakened me to life. Now I'm enjoying a feeling of centeredness and ease in how I operate in the world. It feels good.

In my case I still think of him as my twin because of the vibrational connection. Just being in the same room with him and making eye contact brought it forth fully despite a year without contact. I feel whatever happens or doesn't happen next will be just right. I'm glad to let go of the illusion of control. But maybe keeping this label instead of just thinking of him by his first name somehow sets a program in my brain with an expectation of more future connections? I don't know yet.

Keep posting your updates and how you are shifting. Do you think of him now just by his name? Are you staying in the present or do you have flashes of your next steps or distant future?

Love to you !

[selene]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Thank you Alyanna! What triggered this - He reached out to me for the first time in many years 3 months ago. Though we aren't in touch now his reaching out catalyzed a shift for me which is getting particularly powerful right now. I feel deep lineage 'programs' and remaining ego hang ups that are keeping us from talking all being purged right now. And my holding onto this theory and the fears/expectations it perpetuated is one thing that perpetuated our silence. And Imzadi's beautiful most recent post is what really triggered this. He reminded me that the connection is there with or without the label.

That makes perfect sense Bluebird. I know the feeling of understanding that the connection is there whatever you call it... and I know how this feeling is pushing you to other levels of growth. Keep at it. I cannot wait to hear how this unfolds for you and what wonderful things it brings in your future :)

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

It is good to read your update, Blue.
I'm interested in knowing more how holding onto the theory brought down your vibration and hindered the ego work? Was it the expectation for reunion? It seems as though you still recognize the profound, soul-level connection with this individual and how that has been a constant catalyst for you to turn within and recognize your soul.

So I'm just interested in hearing more about the shift of labels in your thinking. From what I can surmise, you still believe in the truth of the connection and that the bond was/is real? Or am I reading you wrong?

A quick update from me, hearing my twin's (ex)wife validate the truth of the connection I felt with her husband was very liberating to me, regardless of the future and what transpires or doesn't. I don't know why "reality" was so difficult for me to accept (probably legacy of childhood and strange parents). But I currently just accept there was a magical connection of our souls. I felt I saw him and i felt seen by him. This awakened me to life. Now I'm enjoying a feeling of centeredness and ease in how I operate in the world. It feels good.

In my case I still think of him as my twin because of the vibrational connection. Just being in the same room with him and making eye contact brought it forth fully despite a year without contact. I feel whatever happens or doesn't happen next will be just right. I'm glad to let go of the illusion of control. But maybe keeping this label instead of just thinking of him by his first name somehow sets a program in my brain with an expectation of more future connections? I don't know yet.

Keep posting your updates and how you are shifting. Do you think of him now just by his name? Are you staying in the present or do you have flashes of your next steps or distant future?

Love to you !

Hey Red, :) Thanks for sharing your update. I'm glad to hear you are no longer doubting that there is a special connection between the two of you. Love is difficult to accept when we weren't shown it the way we needed it in childhood... I know for myself I am comfortable with giving it but still seriously working on learning how to receive it. I'm glad you have let go of the illusion of control and are surrendering to the present moment. I have another recommendation for you, get ready! Haha. Look up Maya Kahnah. She is actually a friend of mine and I can tell you with certainty she's the real deal. Look up her videos on Union.

I remember the night before I reunited with my dear I completely let him go. I cried and said over and over "I need to let him go." Of course this was a part of a greater Surrender, letting go of control of everything completely, but letting him go was necessary to unite with him the following night! That is the trick with these connections. To come back to each other, we need to totally let go of control of outcome.

To answer your question - I actually feel our connection more now that I have dropped the label. As I wrote about in my post, this connection isn't anything new, I've felt it all my life and only since 2012 have I slapped this label on it. For me, the label got me very in my head and actually distanced me from the actual feeling of it. Now that I am in touch enough with what simply is between us I feel no need for this label. And yeah I do feel like it actually created a lot of fear and confusion. I mean, there is enough nervousness and fear as it is for me so approaching him with the assumption that we are two parts of a larger soul is a bit much, lol, even if that is true. It's just a bit much.

I came to this realization at the right time for me and I personally know two true "twin flame" couples who embrace the term as part of their identity. It must help them so I do not think letting go of this term is a step for everyone. It is necessary for me but that doesn't mean it's right for you. I feel a great sense of relief and freedom now that I've dropped it but this term may give you freedom. I'd feel it out in your heart and body and see if you feel more free with or without the label. This type of magical connection is there whether we label it "twin flame connection" or not or even whether we believe in it or not. I didn't believe in any of this. Just as Divine Love exists beyond its label or our belief in it.

It's about having contact with what IS beyond the mental conceptualization/belief which I have realized for me comes from fear of losing the connection if I no longer labeled it. Sending you love as well! Xo

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by alyanna

That makes perfect sense Bluebird. I know the feeling of understanding that the connection is there whatever you call it... and I know how this feeling is pushing you to other levels of growth. Keep at it. I cannot wait to hear how this unfolds for you and what wonderful things it brings in your future :)

You are so sweet! Thank you! It is pushing me to new levels of growth and surrender. Warm wishes to you.

[bluebird21]

To answer your last questions Red - I refer to him in my mind by his name or when I'm feeling the closeness/love "dear one." :) I'm staying in the present. I really don't have a sense of what is going to happen and I think it's "supposed to" be that way. I'm learning to just relax into the mystery. And I enjoy hearing how you are doing as well! ❤️