Seeking Guidance

Hello all!
I'm new to this community, but I wanted to post a question that I am having issues with, and was wondering if you could assist me as I really have very few people to ask.
Long story short, my best friend and I are very close, and are essentially in a relationship without the title (that's a whole story in itself). I feel our relationship getting better and stronger as time goes on, but I have a concern in one aspect.
He went away for a month back in April, and while he was gone, he met a girl, and they both had come to the conclusion that they were twin flames. Now, they have never been affectionate with each other, and he said they have gone through the stages and doesn't see them ever actually being together, but I still feel odd. I feel as though in being with him, I am, for lack of a better way of putting it, "taking something that isn't mine", or "going against God/the universe" as I have read that these are divine things. What we feel for each other is something quite otherworldly as well, but I still feel a sense of unease, and find myself constantly on edge about where things are headed.
Anyone able to offer any advice? I'm quite lost on what to do.
(I have also posted this in another forum in this community).

I will offer my personal perspective, without laying any grand claims to ultimate truth, this is my personal truth as far as relationships go.

To me, relationships bless us with what we put into them. If we nurture them with devotion and love, they will turn around and bless us. If we neglect them or take them for granted, they slowly unravel and sour. It's really up to us, moment to moment, to make our relationship a blessing for ourselves and everyone touched by it.

With that in mind, I feel that it's very powerful to establish a relationship with someone and have a clear vision and boundaries. Do you want to share your life with this person? Do you want to support them through their challenges? Do you want to start a family with this person? Do you want to grow old with this person? And if you do, what do you need to ask them to support this vision? Do you need to ask them to commit to your relationship as the prime relationship in their life?

I feel that fate brings people into our life, and we can have very profound experiences upon meeting people due to past karma. But ultimately I feel that the depth and power of a relationship isn't based on the past, but on the depth of commitment we provide in the moment and the vision that carries it into the future. So I feel that having a deep connection with someone that feels like a "twin flame" connection is less important than making a deep commitment to another person to grow together, live together, and love together. Because that kind of commitment gets tested by the challenges we all have to face, and that sort of connection goes through a lot of fires to come out as something intensely beautiful.

For my own relationship, I realized that I was scared of asking for this sort of commitment because I was scared it would mean losing the other person. And in fact, I did lose the other person for a while, until I realized that you can't ever really lose anyone, because you can't lose the love in your own heart. When I came to that realization, our relationship came back into a state of harmony. But there are still a lot of trials! I just don't feel constantly on edge or that I have to worry about her falling for someone else, because our paths have come together at a very deep level.

I hope that helps! Many blessings on your journey~~~
-Tom

Wow, that was beautiful. Thank you for that

[sea-dove]

Originally Posted by MarieB

Long story short, my best friend and I are very close, and are essentially in a relationship without the title (that's a whole story in itself).

Now, they have never been affectionate with each other, and he said they have gone through the stages and doesn't see them ever actually being together, but I still feel odd.

No wonder you are feeling odd and "lost", Im not going to refer to just the reason you put but "in a relationship without the title". I think you need to put thoughts of the other girl aside for a moment really have a good heart to heart talk with your best friend to find out where you truely do stand. Does he want to be with you or not? Does he you want to be your OFFICAL BOYFRIEND and give you a title "my girlfriend" to his family and everyone else?

If the answer is no. You have your answer about your relationship there in a nutshell.

If the answer is yes, then you do need to deal with your feelings over the rest. He knows how he feels about the another and if he says he dont feel like they will be getting together, you will need to believe that (or you will end up having a very insecure feeling relationship and that is likely to cause issues).


A heart to heart talk like only best friends can do is needed.

Originally Posted by MarieB

Hello all!

..........but I still feel odd. I feel as though in being with him, I am, for lack of a better way of putting it, "taking something that isn't mine", or "going against God/the universe" as I have read that these are divine things. What we feel for each other is something quite otherworldly as well, but I still feel a sense of unease, and find myself constantly on edge about where things are headed.

I've yet to come to terms with this "twin flames" thing. Browsing its forum it seems to cause more trouble that it's worth, people treating everything as "signs" or (as you put it) divine things, sowing seeds of doubt and anguish. No doubt it does work in some cases but the evidence in this and other fora shows it brings problems.

My own feelings are that if it means people are absolutely matched spiritually, sensually, in every aspect of their lives and on, it has very limited scope for growth whereas relationships last because the people grow together (as in "develop in parallel" as well as "get closer"). (For myself I'd be hopelessly bored in a relationship where me and him had absolutely everything in common!)

Your unease is quite understandable and hopefully your man will keep his feet on the ground and value what he has, which is worth far more than a lot of unknowns and suppositions. Relationships have lasted lifetimes and will go on lasting lifetimes without the people ever wondering about the latest new age "theories".

Just my view, you aren't taking something that isn't yours, or going against the universe. You, being in a relationship is where it's at.