Have difficulty in facing the test.

[starnight1]

My friends used to test each other to see the "true heart".
The content is :
u and your parents(in 70s), your spouse and one child of ten years old, was left in an island by a terrible storm. Another baby child was at home but at end of this month the babysitter would leave.
There is a fisherman finally coming closer and find u. His boat is small and can only carry one off the place each time.No guarantee he would come back for second time.
Who should be the first one to take the boat?

[starnight1]

I was trained in a harsh way to sacrifice myself since childhood,so, i will let all the others to decide who to take the boat....I know i will just let myself die if i face this situation.
Because a suicidal spirit is always with me,too, i just don't get a chance or excuse.
But lately i m learning my higher self and my past lives, my soul seems to whisper a new message that i deserve to be alive.
Life is eternal, I will never die. If i die, i just leave this 3d earth, i will go to another planet or incarnate again to this earth.
But u see, my thought is based on suicide,not a true sacrifice.If i do this fm "untrue heart", i will get a bad karma in after life.

So,who shall take the boat?
If i let my father or mother take the chance,they can't take care the baby at home,
If i let my wife /husband go, the baby can be taken care,
Then the elder child will be left here....

I m not God, i do not know each one's karma,
Feel difficult...

The 10year old cannot look after the baby and nor can the grand-parents, so they cannot go. One of the adults must. I would send my spouse and stay on the island myself to look after parents and 1o year old.