Been feeling like an alien my whole life

Hi, I am new to the forums and wanted to make a post about something I have been experiencing.

I have felt like an alien my whole life, I've always felt 'different' in a way that I can't put my finger on.

I thought it might have been because of a mental illness I have (not too serious a quite commonplace mental illness) which maybe lead me to experience different feelings which were difficult for a child to understand which lead me to feel different but I don't think it is that because even when my mental illness waned or when I am able to speak with other people going through the same thing I still feel like an alien, so it can't be that.

Lately I cut many people out of my life as they did not 'match' where I am and I just didn't feel as though they were appropriate anymore so I was wondering if this came from a feeling of loneliness but I remember that even when I had lots of close friends who I could really talk to and relate to I STILL felt alien.

In fact if anything I feel more alien around other people, being around other people emphasizes the 'different' feeling - the feeling I can't quite put my finger on and makes me feel worse. Yet at the same time I am enthralled with people, I also want to hear about and heal other peoples pain (pain is something so personal and deep, there is nothing that creates such a deep bond as sharing pain does) by having them temporarily transfer it onto me, although at the same time it is difficult for me (for example watching the news is very distressing).

I frequently engage in contemplation and self talk, people can say Hello and I won't even hear them, I will listen to and respond to their conversation well but I feel no investment - even with people who share my interests there is still something 'weird' going on. I used to get premonitions when I was younger, I also used to be able to meditate and completely empty my mind of any thoughts (this was before I even knew this thoughtless experience was called meditation, I could simply do it without practice). The main religions and even less well known spiritual practices don't really help me either, I even feel as though I am on a separate plane from what most of them have to offer.

I am disconnected from my environment yet at the same time hyper aware of it, for example I will sometimes spend minutes just gazing and thinking about a flower I have seen; the colour, the shape, how it reminds me of a vase I once saw, the delicate petals. So many details to recognise! I love animals, and likewise, animals and small children seem to like me. Reality doesn't feel real, I find myself craving to go home and that home isn't here, it isn't anywhere on this Earth.

I feel something playing in the background, something distant and faraway, my five senses don't understand what it is but I can somehow feel it right now.

Anybody else feel that they are some form of an alien? Thanks for reading

Hi there Eternally

Firstly, as much of a paradox as this sounds, you are not alone in feeling different to those around you. I think you'll find many here feel similar, in their own "different" ways. I too feel alien to the people around me.

I would really like to comment on what you say about taking on other's pain. This really isn't healthy no matter how noble it is. I totally understand that you are doing it to help people but there are better healthier ways to help them without causing you problems. This is often the first way that people with a healing talent start to help others, but it is important for you to investigate healing modalities and learn healthy ways to help others.

I am not a fan of reiki but it might be a good place for you to start. In the end anything that works with a universal and not personal energy to heal is the place to start. You need to become a channel for external energy rather than depleting yours.

Contemplation and self talk are good so long as you continue to engage with the mundane world. Self talk is a good way to help yourself deal with situations, so long as you ensure the self talk is loving and positive.

If you feel you are on a different plane it might be worth learning about grounding and protection. It is possible that you are staying off the earth because it is stressful for you to be down here. This is something I struggled with but in time and with work you can be down here and not be affected by energies around you.

I can totally relate to the craving to go home, if you look back through my history I have posted about this myself.

Unfortunately if you are here, you are here for a reason and you can't go home just yet hun. My way of dealing with it is to try and learn as much as possible about myself and people around me, heal my personal wounds (as they are more important to me than anyone else's and yours are more important to you than anyone elses, remember that!), and do all I can to make being down here as do-able as possible. I have regular crystal healing and I have learned a little about brain chemistry that means I have learned that supplements and vitamins can help me.

You will progress, this will get easier, if you are willing to learn and grow. It is easy to stay where you are and miss the point of this life, no matter how scary it might be at times. There are so many wonderful things out there to learn and experience, but you need to be down here to do that ;)

These are common feelings. I have often felt this way, too. The feelings come from the fact that 'society' and the 'way of life' in this world go against our natural order.

Now when I say that, I'm pointing towards the mind. The way our mind works naturally is not the way the mind is trained to work in society. So when you are confronted with this kind of thinking from yourself and others it can give you that "alien" feeling.

i feel that way too sometimes except i didnt have many friends.