Balancing Darkness And Light

[Louisa]

I think I can sense what both of you are saying.

I like that definition of mind, Xan. It clarifies things for me.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Louisa

It seems to me that being darkness, or having been darkness, enriches the experience of being light.

All the experiences are in the mind, so if you have a painful history, then to me that's more opportunity for healing. I don't think I realize how much darkness is in me, it's not comfortable but not really a problem because whether light or dark it's all thoughts inside my mind. For a person who's had problems in life, now I see there's so much potential of healing in me all the time. To me it's mostly just about consistency, whether it's meditation, prayer, or whatever your comfortable with.

Originally Posted by Louisa

I've been thinking about something lately. My thoughts on this subject are still a bit blurry, but the intuitions leading me here are fresh, so I will try to put it in words. It seems to me that being darkness, or having been darkness, enriches the experience of being light. Having been a "horrible person" enriches and intensifies the experience of knowing good. Intensifies the feeling of compassion for suffering or ignorant ones. And I think it may intensify the ability to find pleasure in the imperfection of life, and to descend into darkness and chaos at will for a higher purpose, to use one's darkness for the purpose of light. That's a dangerous thing sometimes, I feel like I've been misled into thinking I was using darkness for light, when I really was just indulging in darkness. But there's such a fine line sometimes in this flawed world cloaked in darkness and ignorance. What will work or what is really asked and needed of us in a situation can be murky. Sometimes a "harmful" action can actually become more liberating to all involved. Also, sometimes when the tide of damage is unstoppable, to add a little more damage to the mix actually doesn't really cause any longterm increase in total damage, but may allow one to feel the pleasure or clarity that comes from sometimes appeasing the ego, and seeing how we are all inescapably egos at some level. I think it can enrich our experience of how we are inevitably separate and limited in our view, and help to intensify the experience of relating to others who are stuck in that kind of darkness. And also, ultimately, if we are all one and inseparable in some way, as in nonduality views, then God/universal energy or whatever you want to call it, is experiencing everything, is everything, darkness and shadow as well as love and light. Well, I've written quite a bit so I'll stop here. Hope this makes sense. Any thoughts on this?

Now see this right here is why I hate the human concept of darkness. That right there is a mockery of everything we stand for. I was beginning to wonder if I should ever make a post about this but I'm glad you did for me so I can show you all my view of Darkness. There is a huge difference between my view of True Darkness and indulging in the corrupt stupidity of humanity, which is what it seems like you are talking about. What I wont deny in is the fact that Darkness pushes you to the farthest reaches of human morality. True Darkness are those who find inner peace and spiritual enlightenment by not only allowing the negative emotions to surface but to embrace them in this fact by coming into complete emotional balance. When total emotional balance is achieved, which can take months if not years of work, then being of Darkness is no different than being of Light, and whatever negative emotional problems you might have developed in the course of this will be much greatly reduced if you can achieve complete emotional balance. Like my signature says "Light and Dark are two sides of the same coin."

Look at it in the form of day and night. Each side has it's pros and cons but neither are inherently bad to be in. If anyone has been keeping up with my thread in the dream section then you will understand with this why I have said I am much stronger spiritually at night than during the day. This is the exact reason why, I am a person who is of complete Darkness. For anyone wondering why there aren't more people like me that answer is in my explanation. If you do not have the strength to dive through your negative emotions, pull them in reign and become the master of your own mind like you are meant to be, it can drive you into an emotional breakdown. It is also a matter of finding your true nature, whether it be Light or Dark following what you feel is the right side for you to take is also just as important as having the strength to succeed. I myself had no easy time coming to terms with my own negativity. It took years of denying my emotions before I came to terms with it and started embracing it. When I did that I found myself in a strange sense of peace and the problem, mostly, gone.

Greetings..

Originally Posted by Xan

Mind is a function of consciousness, which has many aspects and dimensions. Mind has content - memories, concepts, emotional patterns and so on. Consciousness itself is empty and open.

You can see this for yourself. First notice whatever you are aware of right now. Then notice That you are quietly aware.


Xan

Then, notice without any expectations at all.. just look and see what 'is'..

Be well..

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by Seawolf
All the experiences are in the mind, so if you have a painful history, then to me that's more opportunity for healing.

That's interesting, Seawolf, yes, if the individual ego self is just a set of conditions, then in a sense it is all mind. It is all just knowing and learning and play. Where will it go after we die? But even if it continues then, it's still just a fluctuating set of conditions.
And yes, it seems to me, the more wounded one has been, maybe the deeper the healing can be extended to others, because that woundedness was just mind, just knowing, experiencing.

To me it's mostly just about consistency, whether it's meditation, prayer, or whatever your comfortable with.

I agree with this, something I'm learning, not easy, because I'm scatter-brained and my memory is often totally dysfunctional. But I see that practice and returning to the same things that lead to real understanding and peace, is what works in the end. It is not necessarily that it has to be that complicated, or that intellectual. Someone doesn't necessarily have to be very intelligent to acheive a very high level of wisdom and "enlightenment", I think. It is more of recognizing the truth and then returning to it, practicing it over and over each day.

[Louisa]

Malthoruk, that was very interesting to me. I'm still trying to let the implications sink in and see how they apply to me. So I'll post more on that later.
But yes, sometimes I think I'm a "darker" one, in terms of what you're saying. Something I've been trying to understand and wanting to talk with others about, but didn't know how to explain it, so glad you brought it up.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by TzuJanLi
Then, notice without any expectations at all.. just look and see what 'is'..

I'm not sure whether there is a "myself" that is the beyond or whether the beyond just is, but I just want to sense the beyond, how it inspires me, how I identify with it, in some way, and I want to try to act from the sense of that oneness. And accept my own mind and ego and self and maintain them, since they are the medium for knowing and expressing this sense of oneness in my personal life. Maybe I can never entirely transcend the limitations and become the ideal, super-loving, selfless person that most spiritual people aspire to. But I can be the best thing that I can be, knowing that oneness, from my limited perspective and self.

Edited to add:
I think I can be very loving, selfless, etc., but I just don't know how much. Maybe not as much as some people. Maybe that is not my best contribution. Maybe I'm not meant to be a ray of sunshine. Maybe I'm meant to be more creative, more introverted, or something like that. I feel more drawn to that. The creativity can be a slippery slope, because often creativity entails self-absorption and introspection, cutting off from others, and seeking a higher and higher intellectual or emotional kind of high and expressiveness. This can feel addictive, and lead to selfishness and coldness towards others. I think I've experienced that before.

[Louisa]

Not to say that being super-loving and selfless and being creative and introverted can't work together. Maybe they're not exclusive. But for me and at this point in my life, they seem to somewhat exclude each other. So I'm trying to balance and integrate them. I needed more light in my life and was lucky, it came to me in ways I never would've chosen, and I didn't know I needed it. The darkness had led to my corruption, but that is just the mind, as Seawolf said. So maybe my mind's a little stupid. I'm lucky life saved me from my own dumb mind. So there I am, the bad example of what not to do.

Originally Posted by Louisa

Malthoruk, that was very interesting to me. I'm still trying to let the implications sink in and see how they apply to me. So I'll post more on that later.
But yes, sometimes I think I'm a "darker" one, in terms of what you're saying. Something I've been trying to understand and wanting to talk with others about, but didn't know how to explain it, so glad you brought it up.

No, like I said I need to thank you for bringing it up. I am thankful to you for this and allowing me to explain my view on what true darkness should be. If you have any questions do not hesitate to PM/email me to ask more.

[Xan]

True Darkness are those who find inner peace and spiritual enlightenment by not only allowing the negative emotions to surface but to embrace them in this fact by coming into complete emotional balance.

I like how you say this, Malthoruk. It's another way of describing the real power of accepting it all.

Some time ago I discovered that not all darkness is negative, when in deep meditation I began to experience the comfort of unboundaried velvety black presence.


Xan