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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Religions & Faiths > Paganism

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  #1  
Old 20-10-2015, 10:14 PM
Teacup Teacup is offline
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New to Asatru

Hi everyone. I hope I'm posting in the right area. Any how this might be a very long post just a heads up. First I would like to say that I've started onto the Asatru path a few years back when I went to my first pagan pride festival. They were teaching everyone of each branch and the one that caught my eye was Asatru. I learned of the norse gods and goddesses and even took part in a ritual. I felt like I was home. After that I had decided this was my path. It's been a long and slow due to circumstances but I've loved it.

I talked with a fellow pagan about all I learned so far and for some odd reason Loki really stood out to me and often thought about him and how he was often on the brain. She told me he could be my patron God. I started to look more into Loki and what he was like and I thought him and I would be one hell of a team as I was a lot like him. A few months later I got my first tattoo and it was the name Loki. I felt like I was on high, I felt so much energy I hardly knew what to do with myself. To top it off I felt more brave and strong and I had no idea why but I loved it. Then I started to notice some things and I was unsure what to think about it.

I felt like a was being watched no matter where I went. A good hand full of time I would get cold and I was told by others I felt cold to the touch and that was odd seeing as temperature around that time was in the 70-80s. One night I woke in the middle of the night and felt like I was freezing again and covered myself and rolled over only to see a tall shadow standing over me looking down at me. I didn't move or breath I just watched till the shadow walk out of my room. Once I couldn't see it any more I jumped up and ran out my room to see who was still awake and no one was, just me. No one is my house was tall enough to be the shadow and I just felt confused and a bit shaken. I've had people try and tell me I was dreaming but I know I was awake.

A day or two later I found there were two crows outside the house and it felt like they were watching me. I looked up what crows ment only to find that Odin had two crows. I saw them for a few days and one day after work I sat outside and started to talk to them as if talking right to Odin. It was a long talk but I remember telling him that I really like Loki, probably more then I should but I wasn't gone to cause problems. After that talk I didn't see the crows daily. I thought maybe that was the end of the word stuff and I guess it was but life got unexpectedly rough. I suddenly no longer had a home, no job, was having health problems, then out of the blue I was told by my family they didn't care if I died. I ended up calling every one I knew for help and before I knew it I'm moving to another state to stay with this guy I met months prior.

We ended up in the best relationship we ever been in and everything seems perfect. Not much longer I started to have weird dream. I always pay close attention to my dreams but around this time I had a hard time. Someone was in the background of my dreams and I couldn't see to figure out who it was and it was driving me crazy. I knew they were watching me and they kept looking different but something about them made me realize it's the same person. I felt sick and dizzy trying to follow this person after a moment I stopped and screamed out one name, Loki. Every around me pause and melted away. Now I was in a thick fog/haze with some weeping willows and I can hear water near me. Then I hear a voice from behind me.

"How did you figure out it was me?" I told him I didn't know. It it was his smile. He laughed and he approach me holding a small baby girl and asked if I wanted her. I was confused and I told him that the doctor's said I couldn't have kids. He just shrugs "well if you don't want her then I'll take her back." I don't know what came over me but I panicked and told him no that I would take her. He laughed and I asked him what was the catch. He told me there was none. I accuse him of lieing and he gave a smile right before I woke up. A few weeks later I learned I was pregnant.

This was a shock to both me and they guy I was with. The next few months was the worst up till she was born. The day she was born and I got to see her for the first time I thought back to that dream. She was the spitting image of the girl Loki was holding. In this first year with my daughter I've learned that she is clever, quick, and has a large amount of mischief within her. A few nights ago I had another dream where I didn't know anyone and as I was walking along I saw someone with horns on their head and didn't think much of it I smile at them and said "hello Loki" and kept walking. After a few steps I heard his voice call out to me. He grabbed me by the wrist and turned me making me dizzy causing me to fall against the wall. He had both hands on the wall so I wouldn't run. It felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was going. I asked him what he was doing here and he whispered that I belong to him. I didn't know what he meant but before I could do anything he pulled me into a kiss then I woke up.

Is it often gods would visit? Also I'm not sure I understand the last dream. Also I'm sorry about the long post.
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  #2  
Old 23-10-2015, 10:27 PM
Howla Dark Howla Dark is offline
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That was very interesting. Hugs to you. It sounds like you've been through much. So sorry to hear that your own family were being horrible and I'm sure they didn't actually mean to say such hurtful things.

What you experienced in your dreams is similar to someone I know with a different god. Again this could mean a lot of things but on a deeper level you're much of a powerful being than you realise.

Imho Loki might be a less bad god as recent myths portray, since his name means "light" and "luck". Some scholars think he could be a second aspect of Odin Himself.
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Old 28-10-2015, 02:52 AM
Jenny Crow Jenny Crow is offline
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You have an immense gift. Don't ever stop listening to your dreams. I think you bound yourself to Loki when you go that tattoo. He is not the easiest of gods to deal with, I'm sure you know he's referred to as a trickster.
However, you have a wonderful little girl - do you feel that she is Loki's gift to you?

I would give offerings to him and ask that he provide some peace and happiness in your life.
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Old 28-10-2015, 07:57 AM
Lilyth Von Gore Lilyth Von Gore is offline
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Loki is probably one of the most challenging of the Gods to work with. If he has chosen you, that means there are certain aspects of your life that he is going to make you deal with, and he isn't going to mollycoddle you through it.
But he is a good person at heart and only wants to see his followers grow and become confident in themselves.
Never be afraid to be assertive with Loki though. He has a habit of doing what you described (the kiss) and you have to be able to tell him "no".
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:44 PM
Fregoli Fregoli is offline
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So hi, I read your post and Ive been thinking about starting a germanic paganism thread on here for a while. I work semi closely with Loki myself and there has never been a time when my life hasnt been chaotic lol But, that is ok given the circumstances and what I believe about the naturally trying nature of this physical world. First minor point id like to make is that Asatru, the term, is derived frm aesir so if Loki is your patron god that isnt what you (technically) practice. You could use a variety of other terms but since Im not into realm specific terms I usually say I practice fornsed OR, more commonly, I use academic terminology or say simply describe myself as pagan (although you always run the risk of ppl assuming you are wiccan when you use ambiguity).
Anyhoo, ever since I had my son and named him Fenrir I have immersed myself in my involvement with the gods to the point of not being able to imagine myself and my life otherwise. Its interesting that you bring up the coldness thing since Loki is so heavily involved with frost giants and realms like Helheim. I have ALWAYS been too damned hot, it never gets cold enough for me. My bf hates it and will sneak the heater on often (which I always notice). As a child I worried many an adult with my tendency to go barefoot and lack a coat lol
I guess my point here is hello fellow Lokean dude and if Loki is your patron god and youre devoted to him, dont be discouraged by chaos because even (or especially?) Chaos has an ultimate design. He is one of those informal gods who drops in often, if u smoke ive noticed he responds well to sharing a morning cigarette ;) Loyalty is big for Loki. And be ready cuz when Ragnarok comes we will be on the front lines my dear.
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Old 17-12-2015, 11:02 PM
lucas lucas is offline
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Interesting post. I'm new as well, and I'm trying to find my way.
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Old 22-12-2015, 05:48 AM
Teacup Teacup is offline
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Thank you all for your words. I would like to say that my daughter in a few days will be turning one in a few days and my has she grown quickly and in that time I learned that even with as cute as she is she is clever and showing trickster traits so yeah I'm sure she truly is a gift from Loki. Sometimes she doesn't make things easy but I don't expect less. lilyth as you said some things won't be easy and as of late seems things are being thrown my way often but been able to get threw all the chaos and I do find that over time I'm becoming a bit more convenient in myself but still something to work on.
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