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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Lifestyle > Health

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  #1  
Old 22-03-2016, 07:19 PM
Louisa Louisa is offline
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A million ways to cope with depression

I have so many ways to cope with my depression and other mental health issues, and I want to share them with my family member who is really depressed, but she never responds (extremely preoccupied), so I thought, if anyone else thinks they'd like to know all my coping methods, one by one, want to be spiritual support people and send messages? You can share your coping methods or questions if wanted or just let me share mine. If I get some feedback, I feel more motivated to keep writing, and then I can copy and paste and send my family member these coping methods too, so it will help to motivate me. Anyone want to be depression support person and exchange coping ideas and healing methods, positive thoughts, etc?

I will say that I'm not a (whole hearted) Law of Attraction believer. So positive thoughts, includes addressing and talking about the problem so as to understand and solve it in my opinion. I do believe in spending time just feeling good feelings and visualizing the good, but also believe in head on facing problems.
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  #2  
Old 22-03-2016, 09:23 PM
SoulsInMotion SoulsInMotion is offline
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Have you asked this person if she actually wants these suggestions? Have you considered that your attempts at help might unintentionally do harm?

I do not mean to offend you by bringing this up, but it's worth keeping in mind what they say about good intentions alone etc... perhaps by discussing what you know about the situation, others here can offer some more valid feedback instead of just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks.

Usually with depression, it's not so simple. We can know what would bring us out of it, but still not be able to attain it. The reasons for depression can be very complex.
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  #3  
Old 22-03-2016, 09:47 PM
Louisa Louisa is offline
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Yes, I asked her and she said she is open to any ideas I have to offer to her, so yes, I considered that. We are very close, when we talk, very open. I know a lot about her situation. I am pretty sure the reason she doesn't respond is because her almost all her spare time is spent with her boyfriend, as he is very clingy and demands this of her. And, she's depressed, too, so she probably doesn't feel up to responding for that reason, too.

I had severe depression for about 20 years, and now it's stable the vast majority of the time. I will share everything that helped me, beginning with what made the greatest impact in the quickest time. I don't know what else to offer her, but I will be sure to say that this is what worked for me and may not work for her, and she can take it or leave it, and nothing judgmental, no "you" statements (you are this, you do this, etc), no "should" statements.

Only "this works for me", or in my humble opinion, and I might be totally off, etc. She asks my opinion on things a lot when we do talk. I don't think I should share too much detail about her situation, because she might not like it discussed here with others.

I actually really have a lot of hope of making a big impact, but I've barely gotten started sending ideas to her, because I do struggle with my own low grade depression (more frequent sadness and anxiety, but not even "depression" in the clinical sense, almost ever, anymore),... and low energy, raising a four year old, etc, my own complicated life problems.. but my depression's about 100 times better than it once was. That is why I want someone who will give me feedback, and be like a support person. Not that they have to share coping ideas, but just to give feedback so I can know if they're reading them and want me to continue sending them (since it's different what works for each). I just want to feel someone is at least trying to read what I take time to write (and let me know if they don't want me to send it or if it's not useful to them).

I don't expect my sister to be a "support person" back to me, considering her situation. It's really quite understandable for her not to respond, and I'm not surprised.
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  #4  
Old 22-03-2016, 09:49 PM
Lightwaves Lightwaves is offline
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Very interested
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  #5  
Old 22-03-2016, 10:06 PM
Louisa Louisa is offline
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Hi, Tridek Thanks. I'll pm you.
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  #6  
Old 22-03-2016, 10:18 PM
Somnia Somnia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulsInMotion
Have you asked this person if she actually wants these suggestions? Have you considered that your attempts at help might unintentionally do harm?

Usually with depression, it's not so simple. We can know what would bring us out of it, but still not be able to attain it. The reasons for depression can be very complex.

I have a friend who suffers from depression quite often, and you are absolutely correct about depression being extremely complex. There are times when she reaches out by posting things on Facebook on how she's feeling but I notice when people try to engage/encourage her she doesn't respond to anything or if she does it's very depressing responses...It's almost as if she's wanting help but at the same time she temporarily shuts down...

I've learned when she feels ready to receive advice she calls me on her own terms...she knows I am always there for her and she has told me I have a way that makes her feel better after our talks....Usually I help dissolve the negative feelings she feels by injecting humor into our conversations, which makes her laugh....she's told me "you always know what to say...I feel so much better now"...even if I can't give advice at all, I think the simple fact of her knowing I am here for her when she needs to vent/talk is enough to help...

Sometimes you can push and push encouraging information/advice on someone who is depressed but if they are not ready to receive that information they will withdraw into themselves...not saying this is true for all cases, but it is something I have noticed first hand when interacting with depressed people in my personal circle...
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  #7  
Old 22-03-2016, 11:19 PM
SoulsInMotion SoulsInMotion is offline
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Glad to know you've considered it.

I will relate my experience... (forgive the length)

Depression for me is something that came about like a punch to the back of the head. Didn't see it coming, and never saw myself as someone who could become depressed like that. Big mistake, really. Nobody is invulnerable.

Basically, I got worn down. I had my ideals about the world and how my life should go and my abilities to get to where I wanted to be. When things proved otherwise, I became lost. I had no more energy to pull myself up, and try again. This is where things get complex. I became paranoid about everything when I started feeling bad. And that paranoia fed into hopelessness. Since I surrounded myself with a lot of media while trying to figure out the world, both mainstream and "alternative", and both were filled with their own form of doomsday scenarios, I became concerned with everything from whether I had heart disease and cancer, to whether the world was all being controlled by some global elite and all our attempts for a better future were thus hopeless.

The first big step out was in just learning not to freak out and always assume the worst. That is a very hard step, because it's fed to us everywhere. I know what I'm describing is possibly more anxiety related, but they are very linked imo so bear with me.

I knew I had to at least make a few major changes, so I started with diet and exercise, which was a process that took years. I also started ridding myself of stuff I just did habitually every day, like looking at certain news sources, or anything really that I found stressed me out when I really examined it. Certain communities for example I just hung around because it's what I had done for years. But they really had nothing to do with what I wanted to accomplish in life. It was more related to things that used to make me feel good but no longer did. Nostalgic games, and the like.

My beliefs were also changing, at the same time. There's another thread somewhere on these forums that asks "why is enlightenment such a destructive process", paraphrased... I said there, that we can be very attached to who we were and whatever we saw as the truth. Once those opinions are modified enough we can feel lost and afraid, like we are betraying everything we once thought to be true.

It took a heck of a lot of time to make sense of where I was going, and in the meantime, defaulted to taking in all new information with a heap of suspicion. I admit that I am still sometimes suspicious about certain ideas and phraseology. But as long as I let that suspicion and fear dominate me, I couldn't really move forward, so that stagnation made me depressed. Nothing I did felt it had a purpose.

You have to find inspiration somewhere, and that takes persistence and the will to try some things that you might not be entirely comfortable with. When you do that, you may become very rewarded by finding something that rings true with your soul, and it becomes a basis to build from. You may find purpose to do something with that, whether it be a change in career, or a creative project, or whatever else.

I have not even touched on the chemical aspect of depression or spiritual practices yet. This is getting long, but suffice it to say, at some point, I went from praying and begging forgiveness for all my futility, to working toward peace of mind and self love through meditation and other practices, like self affirmation etc. It's important, when we are bombarded with negative feedback, or even less than wholly positive feedback, to give it to ourselves. Some people go the Stuart Smalley route and tell themselves things like, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough..." and others might create imaginary friends that offer them encouragement. I would say don't be afraid to do something that others might call stupid, or that might "not be real". What is real is whatever you make real.

Now for meds and treatments and all that. I realized what junk science the whole mainstream establishment is based on when I was prescribed some beta blockers for anxiety, and when I took them, suddenly felt like I was living in some kind of unreal haze that scared me more than anything that put me on it in the first place. After the first couple of pills I threw the bottle in the garbage and made a commitment right there to get to the root of my own problems rather than just mask symptoms.

I began to study via the internet how various things interact with our body. No matter how I studied, nothing was ever straightforward and I found just how complex these interactions could be, and how much really gets overlooked even by doctors. My anxiety had actually been precipitated by a round of antibiotics, and learning about the role of antibiotics in health problems that DO lead to depression opened my eyes. So much in regard to our mood, energy and well being is associated with the gut, and when the balance of flora is damaged, that will magnify any other problems we're going through. It will also lead to deficiencies where we don't absorb the proper nutrients through food, and certain vitamins and minerals are essential in keeping mood up. D and B12 for starters... the list is vast, actually. But learning the role of probiotics, beginning to supplement with good ones and then adding more of these vitamins in itself did a lot.

And when that is solved, the energy goes up, and then I can focus on getting creative, and so on and so forth... you see how synergistic it all is...
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  #8  
Old 23-03-2016, 11:47 AM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulsInMotion
Now for meds and treatments and all that. I realized what junk science the whole mainstream establishment is based on when I was prescribed some beta blockers for anxiety, and when I took them, suddenly felt like I was living in some kind of unreal haze that scared me more than anything that put me on it in the first place. After the first couple of pills I threw the bottle in the garbage and made a commitment right there to get to the root of my own problems rather than just mask symptoms.

I began to study via the internet...
This was exactly my experience with meds - I quit them after 2-3 weeks - and it's the reason why I quit. I needed to understand the cause, and what brought me to a place of depression. I didn't go on the internet though. I spent some days examining my life, and came up with several life choices I'd made along the way that lead to my depression. These included career choices, spiritual belief choices, relationship choices, lifestyle choices, along with my general negative attitude towards life. I then set about to transform all of it. It took several years but I accomplished everything I set out to do. And my life has never been happier.
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  #9  
Old 23-03-2016, 12:36 PM
SoulsInMotion SoulsInMotion is offline
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The internet is a tool, I did much more than just surf the net but a lot of information exists out there so I utilized it in my journey of self-examination. Ultimately though you have to take all of what you read and use your own brain, figure out that this stuff isn't gospel. Everyone's just throwing their best guesses and opinions around, but that doesn't mean there isn't valid info there. Very often it's through the internet that corrupt medical practices become exposed, for instance, like the vast overprescription of fluoroquinolones.

Too much reliance on the internet is also a contributing factor for many peoples depression, they become disconnected from the real world and from nature. We need to be around nurturing forces, in order to heal and grow.
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  #10  
Old 23-03-2016, 12:44 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Originally Posted by SoulsInMotion
The internet is a tool... that doesn't mean there isn't valid info there.
I wasn't suggesting otherwise, I was just sharing my own experience.
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