It is different this time

[Aglaya]

Hello,

My husband died yesterday, today is the funeral. And something unusual is happening with me.

I use to feel when death is coming for someone... I see blue sparks, I sense specific smells, I feel the presence of the spirits. And in some cases I fall in trance, and go with the person to some place...like library.

And this time, when it happened in my family, after I lost a very precious person, I act as if under sedation. True, I saw one tiny spark yesterday, then I saw him opening a door and then he smiled and walked forward. I didn't even try to go with him. I don't suffer...and I don't feel those sharp emotions characteristic for such cases.

What is happening with me. The energy of this separation feels very heavy in most of the cases, and now I don't feel it... Why am I so unable to experience this loss in a proper way? I am simply sure that my husband will cope with this great transition, but it is ...how to put it...unjust in a way.

Now, I am sure such things happen with other people here. And it is interesting to know...do you find it to be a normal reaction to the death of a loved one? Because I love him! I can tell that my husband's state is smooth, he feels freshness, and the space in front, he is interested in what is happening with him, but what's the reason for my inadequate reactions, I wonder...