The Completion Process

[linen53]

I've been where you are back in the late 80's, and successfully healed. I wish you well on your healing journey. You can do this! There is a life after abuse.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Thank you, Seawolf. I’ve had a brief look at IFS therapy but I’m not sure that would be for me.

The Pete Walker book has got a lot of positive reviews and that forum looks especially interesting so I will have a look at that at the weekend.
I haven’t really had any significant validation from anyone. Once the trauma was over, I just wanted to get on with my life but my body had other ideas. Yes, it is tough to have tried so many therapies with absolutely no difference whatsoever; to keep a level of hope and optimism that this ‘may be the one’ and it’s not, is almost traumatising in itself and fosters a lot of frustration. It’s difficult to know what to try next, so I guess reading about it and trying some inner child work will at least have the novelty of not having tried before.

Patrycia

[Patrycia-Rose]

Originally Posted by linen53

I've been where you are back in the late 80's, and successfully healed. I wish you well on your healing journey. You can do this! There is a life after abuse.

Thanks, Linen for your kind wishes. Was there anything that worked particularly well for you?

[linen53]

Several things worked for me. Finding out one uncle who abused me was bipolar. That helped with him. Knowing my father was abused by his mother, and she was abused by her mother. Finding out a lot of other why's helped. A grandfather, a grandmother, another uncle; I understand it all.

On the spiritual side, I learned that I chose to be born in that family precisely to learn some very harsh lessons so I had no one to blame anymore.

And time. You have to give yourself time to grieve, be angry, be in denial, etc. Then when the dust clears (years later for me) you will be able to leave all that stuff behind and move on with a clear head.

I have no hatred to those who abused me. I have no pity for them either. They are just people who helped me learn some life lessons.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Thank you, Seawolf. I’ve had a brief look at IFS therapy but I’m not sure that would be for me.

The Pete Walker book has got a lot of positive reviews and that forum looks especially interesting so I will have a look at that at the weekend.
I haven’t really had any significant validation from anyone. Once the trauma was over, I just wanted to get on with my life but my body had other ideas. Yes, it is tough to have tried so many therapies with absolutely no difference whatsoever; to keep a level of hope and optimism that this ‘may be the one’ and it’s not, is almost traumatising in itself and fosters a lot of frustration. It’s difficult to know what to try next, so I guess reading about it and trying some inner child work will at least have the novelty of not having tried before.

Patrycia

Yes I would think it would be traumatizing. That happens to me easily with dissapointment and I have to try to protect myself by finding healing methods supported by research. Also it's important to know exactly what the problem is because then I can find the appropriate treatment for it. For example I used to think I had ADHD, but I got nowhere trying to treat that because it was an incorrect diagnosis. Until now there's been little info about CPTSD, yet it's such a major issue in so many peole's lives. They tried to diagnose people as BPD, Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, ADD, etc but those were just the symtoms of prolonged trauma. Finally this is going to get in the next DSM and we'll see alot of changes, people getting help for the real issue. For example I met someone who didn't have much hope for staying alive because of heroin addiction and repeated suicide attempts, but his life was turned around when he was unofficially diagnosed with CPTSD and was treated with EMDR and Neurofeedback.

[wanchain]

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Thank you, Seawolf. You know, just someone acknowledging I haven’t had luck on my side, so far, is validation and helpful. Yes, I do think I have complex PTSD (I was also told this by a medium). The thing is I don’t have some of the usual symptoms; I don’t get flashbacks and I don’t get nightmares. What I did get was extreme anger when I thought about it (there’s a nice hole in my bedroom which I’ve still to repair). What helped to lower that anger was EFT, mind you it took years.

I have heard of both EMDR and SE. EMDR is similar to EFT and the gamut procedure. Unfortunately, I live in a rural location and I don’t have any SE practitioners in my area. The book you mentioned, ‘the body keeps the score’ is actually what led me to find the Completion Process because in the reviews for the former book, someone said that although it describes the various approaches to PTSD, it doesn’t tell you how to do this for yourself and someone said The Completion Process does that, so that’s why I ordered it.

Also, I remember researching the vagal theory about a year ago and that the sympathetic and para sympathetic systems need re-balancing which led me to Bowen therapy. I had about five sessions and I’m still, I believe, processing this.

Patrycia

Hi Patrycia,

Just want to offer you some suggestions. I am using Rosen Method, which helps me to read cellular memory. Essentially, it's to guide me to use my own consciousness to process/heal the unconscious part of me.

I do most of the healing at home. But it's nice to go to the sessions too, so that I can ask questions and get guidance.

I have a physical trauma (the therapist calls it a shock trauma) on top of my developmental trauma. I didn't have the awareness that I have them until last year, after I started Rosen Method. I started my healing journey around 2012, had tried many modalities, and published a novel about my journey. So far, I find that the most powerful medicine is my own consciousness.

The sympathetic bias/imbalance you mentioned can also be healed with Rosen Method, which I do at home so perhaps that would be a more convenient option for you.

Wanchain

[Patrycia-Rose]

I’ve had a look at the Rosen method on Youtube. It seems that the therapist puts their hands on your skin – I wouldn’t be able to tolerate that.

The Completion Process, whilst well written and describing in detail the process, I soon realised was geared towards child abuse and suppressed memories, neither of which apply to me/the trauma.

I had five sessions of Bowen, the last one extremely intense and I have no idea whether it has rebalanced my nervous sytem, I mean how do you tell? I think I’m still processing the changes from it even though the last session was on 8th December. I went into a very long stage of depression, which I’m still in but am beginning to have the odd day where I feel OK.

I have a list as long as your arm of healing modalities I tried and none of them have made the slightest impact on the two physical symptoms. I have done a lot with EFT on the emotional front which has been really effective at healing the anger I felt. The trauma was in 2012 and in most ways, I feel very distant from it now. The reminders I have are the physical symptoms which don’t seem to be able to shift, even the slightest.

I am exceptionally sensitive and these healing modalities seem to knock me for six and takes me ages to recover from. I’ve got to the point where I think what would give me the idea that anything else is going to help? It would seem that my only ‘choice’ is to give up.

[Seawolf]

Sorry to hear that. I quick look at Bowen suggests there's lack of evidence of it's effectiveness. Maybe that might give you some hope since it's probably the method, not anything about you personally. It's terrible to give people hope when there's no real evidence and it's just pseudoscience. That's why I suggest books like Body Keeps the Score because it's all about things that are researched and prove effective in the field. I get very dissapointed and deeply depressed when things don't happen the way I expect and I can empathize with how you feel.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hi Seawolf

I did a lot of reading up about Bowen before undertaking it, not just from practitioners but also on forums from people who had success with it. Also a work colleague swears by it, so it wasn't without foundation that I did this. Also, the same could be said for cranio sacral therapy and although that hasn't healed the trauma symptoms, it's my 'go to' therapy for most other things and has got me out of a hole a time or too. I really don't think that talking about it, or CBT is going to do it. I'm going to take a break whilst I continue to recover from Bowen and my next plan is to have some acupuncture as I think that may help one of the symptoms.

I don't get depressed when none of this works; but as you say disappointed and frustrated I think more than anything, as every time I start something I'm convinced this is going to be the one and I deserve some sort of breakthrough!

Patrycia

[Seawolf]

Yeah I talk to a lot of people suffering from trauma and the general consensus is that CBT can be helpful at the beginning but it's not a long term solution. People with lots of past trauma mainly seem to experience change from the therapies like the ones mentioned in Kolk's book. I've suffered all my life and now I'm starting to get better. EMDR, SE, & IFS are a miracle to me and are low cost. They may not be labeled spiritual but I think they are very much so.

When it comes to trauma which has historically not been very well understood, it's best to follow advice of professionals and scientist types who are on the cutting edge. Once their discoveries are spread to the public because of their effectiveness, everyone will be basing their methods on it. These concepts like IFS are miraculous imo and have the potential to be world chaning, which is not an exagerration. I've always sensed that true change will come through scientific research. And in my world view, there is no separation between the physical and spiritual, it's ALL spiritual, especially the brain.